Robert Kenneth Jones 8/8/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 8/8/18

Spiritual Awakening; From Pain to Wisdom

When we accept that there is always pain in life, the wisdom gained through even the most difficult experiences becomes attainable.

“You embrace the pain that comes from knowledge and laugh at the bliss born out of ignorance. You accept that pain is a side effect of doing what you love, knowing that pain is merely the hard center of love that must be embraced, softened and transformed into wisdom.” ~ G. W. McGee

One of the signs of a spiritual awakening as defined by G. W. McGee, a former Navy Intelligence Specialist turned philosopher, asserts that we find ourselves preferring to ‘be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie’. There develops a real appreciation for truth that trumps any amount of pain or suffering that’s necessary to achieve it. People in AA are well aware of this fact. Regardless of consequences, they face the reality that addictions have caused great pain to themselves and others. They follow the 12 Steps and engage in a new responsibility to truth and begin to practice it in all of their affairs.

As William Goldman tells us through Westley (Dread Pirate Roberts) in The Princess Bride, “Life is pain, Highness. Anybody who tells you otherwise is selling something.”

When we accept that there is always pain in life, the wisdom gained through even the most difficult experiences becomes attainable. Regrets begin to slip away when we awaken to the certainty that God is with us through every suffering and heartache. We face the truth and embrace the existence of unconditional love. This is spiritual awakening.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 8/4/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 8/4/18

More on Judging and Being Judged

Can you imagine what it might be like to stop judging? Can you imagine what it might be like to not be judged?

"Christian, Jew, Muslim, shaman, Zoroastrian, stone, ground, mountain, river, each has a secret way of being with the mystery, unique and not to be judged." ~ Rumi

I often write about judging. But right now it seems so important. The finger of judgment points in every direction nowadays. With it comes feelings of superiority and inferiority. Neither is good. So I try to revisit the subject in my prayers and mindfulness meditation daily in hopes of being spared the burden of judging.You know how terrible it feels to be judged. I think we all have felt the sting of judgment at one time or another. Many of us are all too familiar. A description of how it feels to be judged was shared with me during a counseling session. This wounded young fellow told me; “It feels like I am being awakened in the middle of the night and dragged naked in front of everyone to be teased and ridiculed.”

Perhaps the saddest part of his story is that he had been living in a therapeutic community in which he should have been receiving compassion and encouragement. Instead, he felt rejection, pain, and malice. As our time together that day progressed, he began to launch into a rant which described the failings of the people in the group that was wounding him. He labored with character assassinations and perceived shortcomings as he verbally railed against one and all. When he was finished he started to sob. I told him that he was loved and not to put so much stock in what others thought of him or about their feedback. He replied; “I know you’re right. I’m crying because I just did to them what they have been doing to me.”

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean.” ~ Jimi Hendrix

Can you imagine what it might be like to stop judging? Can you imagine what it might be like to not be judged? How wonderful it would be to believe that we were not under scrutiny and that nobody was looking down on us. Think how great it would feel to accept those who are not behaving as we might want them to with understanding and patience. There is much harm done when we have been judged. And there is no good that can come from our judgment of others.

Today I will live without judgment. I will not accept it nor will I indulge in it.

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Inclusion; Let It Begin With Me

We cannot know ourselves fully until we begin to recognize and accept those who are different and those who challenge us.

"We can either emphasize those aspects of our traditions, religious or secular, that speak of hatred, exclusion, and suspicion or work with those that stress the interdependence and equality of all human beings. The choice is yours.” ~ Karen Armstrong

Building bridges to connect us with our better selves and with one another is a spiritual imperative. We cannot serve a higher purpose or walk in concert with God if we accept people in our lives and hearts only under certain conditions and with great caution.If we allow only those who are like us, reflect our values, or affirm our principles, we are restricting our growth and denying possibilities. In a sense, we have made ourselves into an exclusive little Country Club. An invisible sign hangs around our soul that reads ‘Members Only’. Spiritual and emotional well being depends upon universal inclusion.

We cannot know ourselves fully until we begin to recognize and accept those who are different and those who challenge us. We cannot fully Love God or ourselves unless we Love our neighbor. My dear friend, Steve Magin, began teaching me this lesson at an early age. He made things hard at times. I was more interested in exploring the woods just the two of us.But he was forever thinking about bringing other kids on our adventures. There was always some boy that he thought we should include. When we were choosing up sides for baseball he would pick the ones who normally would be last in the first round. He encouraged rather than teased. Those same kids remain close friends with him today. His life-long message is one of inclusion. Peace can be achieved when we reach out to others. I am the one to build the bridges and make the connections.

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Sail on Sailor

This (blessing) enables us to deliver sacred cargo and to become beacons for others

“May you always sail with fair winds and a following sea." ~ Traditional Navy Blessing

I was listening to Jimmy Buffett sing “Sail on Sailor” when the old nautical blessing came to mind. Fair winds and following seas has been used by the Navy in commissioning ceremonies, command change, and at the time of retirement for people and for ships as well. It is a blessing filled with hope for faring well, safe travel, and good fortune. It is not naïve. Sailors are well aware of the power and might of an often unforgiving sea. They have often been the victim of its wrath. But they sail on, often delivering life-saving and sustaining cargo. They carry, bring, and then become the blessing.

One of the incredible benefits in the practice of carrying the blessing like good sailors is that we are given the gift of recognizing the image of God everywhere. This enables us to deliver sacred cargo and to become beacons for others. It is no longer possible to harbor resentments, lick wounds or long-suffer our injuries when we supply messages of joy, love, and good news. Fair winds and following seas have been granted.

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Robert Kenneth Jones 7/25/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 7/25/18

An Irresistible Banquet

Our very lives are reason enough to rejoice

“Life is a moveable feast” – Ernest Hemingway

Years ago, it was trendy and popular to participate in progressive dinner parties with a group of good friends. A progressive meal is one in which guests travel from home to home, eating one course at each. Five families volunteer to be hosts and it would be their homes that people would travel to and from. Usually, some kind of theme was used (for example a detective who-done-it, football, a foreign country’s cuisine, pioneer days, the 1950s, and so on).

The invitation was designed as if it were a restaurant menu, listing each course and where it would be served. At the first home, appetizers and drinks would be served…at the second home, soup and salad….at the third home would be the main course…at the fourth home, dessert and coffee. Finally, at the fifth home, some kind of party games would be played. These feasts were terrific and always very entertaining.

Hemingway tells us the feast is everywhere because it is easy to forget that life is a banquet. We become so focused on our troubles, our busyness, and our duties, that we fail to celebrate. We move from day to day as if everything was such a terribly serious matter. We are here today. Our very lives are reason enough to rejoice. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to make today different by joining in on the feast?

How can I enjoy my life today by participating in its miracles and happiness?

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Robert Kenneth Jones 7/22/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 7/22/18

Going Down to the Crossroads

We must let go and take a few faltering steps with faith and trust that God is in charge of the outcome.

“You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Here we are…at another Crossroad. Which way to go? It is not that one way seems less traveled by than the other. It would almost be easier to be in a woods like Robert Frost and follow an untrodden, strangely dangerous, and unconventional path.But this is one of those crossroads so often found in the rural Midwest, laid out in neat sections of corn and bean patchwork. Standing on flat ground with an endless horizon, it seems the choice of direction is almost mundane. We know it's important to make a choice but indecision has frozen us in place.There is no use in procrastinating…no need for ‘sinking down’ or giving up. Because we are not alone in our Crossroad decisions when we trust ‘that which is unknown by us is fully known by God and the universe’. Here is what has to happen. We must let go and take a few faltering steps with faith and trust that God is in charge of the outcome. We will discover or rediscover that we are...and always have been...in good hands.

Today I will experience life fully at the Crossroad by stepping out with faith, and trust.

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Robert Kenneth Jones 7/18/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 7/18/18

Bring Us Some Good News

“The good news, which the World Redeemer brings and which so many have been glad to hear, zealous to preach, but reluctant, apparently, to demonstrate, is that God is love, the He can be, and is to be, loved, and that all without exception are his children.” ~ Joseph Campbell

Sometimes it's hard to sort through the many messages we receive to find something positive. Lots of warnings, tragic tales, and major concerns present themselves. So when someone comes along with a happy story, a light spirit, a smile and good news, they are met with joy and relief. What a terrific gift it is to carry good words.

The prophet Isaiah writes with enthusiasm as he describes ‘how beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of the one bringing good news’. Each of us has the ability to be such a messenger. All we have to do is make a little shift in our perspective and presentation. We can begin to share the good things going on in our lives and in the world with as much emphasis as we have shared the difficulty and woes surrounding us.

Bringing good news to everyone we meet will change the way things go for us and for those we encounter. I went into a local business not long ago and was greeted personally by the owner. Steve engaged me in conversation and shared stories of his grandchild and love for his wife as he helped me with my purchases.My mood lifted dramatically. His good news created a spirit of thanksgiving within me. I thought about my own wonderful marriage, delightful wife, children, and grandchildren. It does not take much to make a difference. It does create a genuine atmosphere of joy.Pope Francis met with a group of atheists not long ago and proclaimed the good news that salvation was just as much a reality for them as for the religious. The revelation of grace for one and for all is changing the entire notion of inclusion. Good news is everywhere. Take the grand opportunity to be a messenger of it today.

Today I will make a shift in the emphasis of my message. I will bring good news to hungry hearts.

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Robert Kenneth Jones 7/15/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 7/15/18

Being Present to the Present

Living in the moment is a key to emotional and spiritual well-being.

“If we refuse to think of anything except what we are doing or the person that we are with, we develop the habit of being present to the present moment. In a way, the present moment becomes as sacred as being in church.” ~ Thomas Keating

Living in the moment is a key to emotional and spiritual well-being. But this kind of mindfulness is not always easy. The dark recesses of our yesterdays with their brokenness, wounds, resentments, and regrets drag us backward.

Fear and worry about tomorrows try to tug us forward, whispering that there is so much to do, so many mountains to climb, and so many perils ahead. All of these distractions blur the importance of here and now. We miss the chance to listen deeply. Our ability to be compassionate escapes and the moment is lost. We have missed a sacred opportunity.

How often do we succumb to the lure of money, security, fame, power, approval, or control? How often do we sacrifice today on the altar of tomorrow? How often do we throw caution to the wind, behaving in ways we know we might regret? The best fix for this is to welcome the moment right in front of us by being ‘present to the present’. We can fill ourselves with the possibilities of here and now by being mindful. Slow down. Look around. Be still. Listen. God will take care of the rest.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 7/11/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 7/11/18

The Healing Heart of Compassion

True compassion brings with it the gift of healing only because of the mutual experience of our own wounds, our own suffering, and our own healing.

“When we experience the healing presence of another person, we can discover our own gifts of healing. Then our wounds allow us to enter into a deep solidarity with our wounded brothers and sisters.” ~ Henri Nouwen

Compassion is the ability to suffer-with those who are wounded. True compassion brings with it the gift of healing only because of the mutual experience of our own wounds, our own suffering, and our own healing. It is a sharing of our own brokenness in solidarity with those who are struggling, grieving and floundering. It is about making ourselves vulnerable in order to provide a source of comfort.Giving advice is a lot easier than offering compassion. Helping to find solutions for the problems of others requires little effort. It is even easier to find a cure. When the person we are trying to help doesn’t follow our advice or chooses another solution we can shake the dust off, shrug our shoulders and walk away. Our inner voice says; ‘Well, at least I tried!’Those who offer compassion know how to show up. They do not come with superpowers but with shared brokenness. They show up with an understanding heart free from judgment. They do not hide their scars for they are visible proof that wounds heal. Hand in hand, we shall overcome. Heart to heart, we can save each other…and by so doing will, as Michael Jackson sang, Heal the World. We will be doing God’s work.

"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." ~ Pema Chödrön
Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 7/8/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 7/8/18

Overcoming Adversity

We can allow ourselves to be strengthened by our personal faith followed by dogged determination and hard work. We have choices when presented with adversity.

“It is not adversity that kills, but the impatience with which we bear the adversity.”

Father James Keller was visiting the Tower of London when he found the inscription above. It was written almost four hundred years ago by a condemned prisoner who carved the words on the wall of his cell to keep up his spirits during a long imprisonment. Keller was moved by the hope and courage that was embodied in the message. Adversity will come for each of us during our travel through life. How we deal with these difficulties makes all of the difference.None of us need to be paralyzed by the adversity that comes our way. We have the opportunity to rise above it. We can allow ourselves to be strengthened by our personal faith followed by dogged determination and hard work.

We have choices when presented with adversity. Despite the fact that we might feel trapped or cornered with only one way to go, we can choose our attitude and practice patience. We can choose to be models of inspiration through the courage and poise with which we meet the hardship.We can embrace the situation with a spirit of acceptance. There is nothing more powerful than the example of grace under pressure. It is what Ernest Hemingway called ‘guts’.We can prevail over almost anything as long as we are willing to keep making the best choices. They won’t always be right but we just keep trying and ultimately the good things will overcome the bad.

“Life’s about adversity. The whole key to it, when adversity comes, you either get bitter or you get better.” ~ Dabo Swinney

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Robert Kenneth Jones 7/3/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 7/3/18

We Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident

This is our country. It is a land where hope and faith in tomorrow have forged a unique system of democracy which always looks forward.

“…that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

Can it be true that Americans are alienated? Have we lost hope in the future? Do many of us feel that we don't matter? These questions weigh heavily as this Fourth of July arrives.There seems to be so much disdain for the beliefs and values of those on the other side. We have forgotten that the turmoil we're in has always gone, to one degree or another, with the territory. It's actually something to celebrate.I think it is a good time to steal back some of our open-minded, multi-partisan patriotism and present it to one another without fear. This is our country.

It is a land where hope and faith in tomorrow have forged a unique system of democracy which always looks forward. We must never waive or compromise our fundamental and unalienable rights. Our sins cannot define us unless we decide to wallow in them. Our goodness can guide the course of our ship with a compass whose true north always points us to unfettered freedom for one and all.

"The American, by nature, is optimistic. He is experimental, an inventor, and a builder who builds best when called upon to build greatly." ~ John F. Kennedy

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From Sea to Shining Sea

We who believe in freedom cannot rest

“Territory is but the body of a nation. The people who inhabit its hills and valleys are its soul, its spirit, its life.” ~ James Garfield (20th U.S. President)

We are approaching the celebration of our national holiday which marks a bold declaration of independence followed by 242 years of struggle for freedom. We are a nation becoming. This great experiment in democracy has overcome many obstacles, flaws, and shortcomings while never resting in a quest of liberty and justice for all.Is any amount of fireworks, colorful parades or waving of flags too flamboyant or dramatic on The Fourth of July? I think not. Independence Day is no small event. For it is not that we are just a great country. We celebrate because we are a diverse and determined people who will not be satisfied.

In the words of the song for Ella Baker, “We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes.”

Each year at this time we are welcomed back home from sea to shining sea with all differences set aside. Disgruntled people on the extreme right or left of our political spectrum for at least one day can stop their quarrels with the knowledge that our virtues far outweigh our shortcomings.

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Robert Kenneth Jones 6/27/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 6/27/18

Our Common Humanity

When we begin to embrace the sacredness of every person-to-person encounter as a kind of holy meeting, relationships become irresistible.

“My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.” ~ Desmond Tutu

We get to choose whether we will be connected with one another or not. But if we don’t, how can we ever be fully human? It seems so much easier to disconnect rather than to struggle with personal relationships. The risk of rejection and pain can be daunting.

Life can be confusing. We know, for example, that understanding ourselves requires some disciplined work. We cannot connect with our brothers if we are disconnected from our inner selves. Likewise, however, we cannot connect with our inner selves if we are disconnected from our community of friends, family, and neighbors.

This is also true in our mysterious relationship with God. When we begin to accept that each human being is a reflection of God, a child of God, and a manifestation of God, the confusion begins to disappear. When we begin to embrace the sacredness of every person-to-person encounter as a kind of holy meeting, relationships become irresistible. God is for us, with us and within us. It is in this reality that we are able to connect with each other, with ourselves and with our God.

“Your neighbor is your unknown self.” ~ Miguel de Unamuno

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 6/23/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 6/23/18

Full Steam Ahead

Life is all about participating fully.

“Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some happy, and some exciting. But if you never turn the page…you never know what the next chapter holds.” ~ Zig Ziglar

The newest chapter of your story just opened. Much has happened so far. There have been friends, lovers, drama, disappointment, tragedy, thrills and spills. It has every element of a best-seller. Looking over the pages already written, there are things we might have scripted differently.But then the unfolding would have been altered, making it almost impossible to reach this part. What a tale it is. How interesting and compelling. Wouldn’t it be sad if we made it boring and dull by sitting around, feeling sorry for ourselves, doing little or nothing? This newest chapter could hold the climax to the whole thing.

Life is all about participating fully. We might need time for rest, reflection and refueling, but never need to languish so long that the adventure goes on without us. God has given us an amazing gift of here and now. He puts a pen in our hands and asks us author this page.He gives us everything we need, waits with us, prays with us, celebrates with us and grieves with us. He delights in what we do just as a parent delights in the development of the growing toddler. Every step and every move are a source of joy. As a grandfather, I get to hear wonderful stories about the never-a-dull-moment lives our little kids are living.This is the nature of full participation. No dull moments. No time for self-pity. No more resentment. Write your story well. Move on. Just like my Dad often said. ‘Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead’.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 6/20/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 6/20/18

The Journey of Becoming

We are finding our way home in all of our actions, all of our choices and all of our wanderings.

“Action is the abundance of the heart.” ~ Maurice Blondel

Our very existence is a testimony to transcendence. We are becoming. From our first moment of life to our last breath, we are becoming. From our first skinned knee through health challenges of old age we are becoming. From our first taste of chocolate to the savoring of fine wine, we are becoming. We are finding our way home in all of our actions, all of our choices and all of our wanderings.This life journey of becoming may seem to be filled with pitfalls and mistakes with only punctuations of brilliance and joy. But in fact, it is a joyful and brilliant trip with some times of pain and difficulty.The challenge of understanding this truth is offered up so that we might find the infinite in every moment. Then we will not only endure and survive but will be enabled to rise above. This transcendence will remind us that what we do matters.Our actions will come from an abundance of the heart. They will become more deliberate and considered while knee-jerk reactions fade away. They will be directed by a power higher than ourselves.Banner photo by Nathan Dumlao on UnsplashRobert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration, and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 6/16/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 6/16/18

Father's Day and Our Expectations

Dad fought the good fight. Whether our fathers lived up to our expectations or not, perhaps that is the best gift they can give us.

“Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father's passin'.” ~ Harper Lee

There are many standards by which we might judge the men who helped bring us to life. But, for lots of people, their fathers’ performance fell short of hopes. The line, spoken to young Scout by Reverend Sykes in “To Kill A Mockingbird” is one of the most simple yet profound ones ever uttered in the movies.

Atticus Finch fought the good fight. And that, regardless of outcomes, merits enduring respect. What more can we expect from our fathers? ~ from To Kill a Mocking Bird

I was one of the fortunate ones. My Dad, Ken Jones, was a great, gentle and loving giant who lived life to the fullest. He made time to take with me him every Sunday as we went on some kind of adventure (often playing hooky from church).

He was always able to demonstrate his love in words and actions, unlike many men who had come back scarred from battle in World War II. I would squirm as he often posed his question; “Who loves ya baby?” to which I had to reply “Daddy loves me.” How embarrassing!

He was patient but firm and I made it my mission to avoid disappointing him. He loved playing cards with me and my friends when we were teenagers and college kids, always taking us for every dime in the poker pot. I could go on and on.

It’s strange though. I have found it pretty easy to talk about Dad, and to tell stories about him, but have never written about him in my blogs or columns. In fact, I have never written about Father’s Day at all. Maybe because putting it down on paper makes his loss more real or maybe because I didn’t come close to measuring up as a father myself. I’m not sure which. But I do know that I was no Ken Jones.

It was a Wednesday, late in the afternoon, in September of 1975 when I pulled into my parent’s driveway to find neighbors gathered on the lawn and an ambulance from Pape Funeral Home in front of the garage. My first thought was this; “I hope it’s not Dad.”

But it was. I was 24 and he was 66 when he died. Both of us were too young. Dad fought the good fight. Whether our fathers lived up to our expectations or not, perhaps that is the best gift they can give us. Stand up Scout.

Banner photo by Wade Austin Ellis on Unsplash

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 6/13/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 6/13/18

Seeking Wisdom On The Journey

I have learned that forgiveness is a key to happiness. I must offer it to everyone in order to be free from resentments. This letting go of resentment has proven to be a touchstone of life.

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"God will bring people and events into our lives, and whatever we may think about them, they are designed for the evolution of His life in us." ~ Thomas Keating

People come to us as mentors by surprise. One of these wise people bestowed profound wisdom upon me back in 2000. I was wrestling with problems in my life that existed in my past but that were seriously affecting the way that I related to other people in the present. I respected this fellow very much. My decision to ask for help, however, was postponed several times with a variety of excuses.Finally, I found myself sitting in front of his desk. I felt more like a 12-year-old boy than a 49-year-old man. My words spilled out for several minutes. He listened patiently. There, it was done. The barbs and foibles, miscues and mistakes, lies and disguises all summed up in a blubbering mass of emotion. His response was heartfelt and brief.He said “If you don’t forgive yourself, you have missed the whole point.” That was it. No lecture, no judgment, no pontificating over my dilemma, just those few words. I thanked him and took them back to my apartment. Nothing has really been the same ever since.Dr. Doug Talbott’s words have guided me in my personal and professional relationships for eighteen years. They taught me to afford myself the opportunity to heal. I had to stop punishing myself for my mistakes and begin living gently and constructively in the present. I have learned that forgiveness is a key to happiness. I must offer it to everyone in order to be free from resentments.This letting go of resentment has proven to be a touchstone of life. I have learned that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to change the past. All I can do is learn from it. There is no point in holding grudges, bearing resentments or harboring ill will. All of those are heavy burdens that I (and only I) choose to carry. Their weight is too much for anyone to bear. Putting them down allows me to focus on the important mission of living well today. I can do the next right thing. I am not a victim.

Today I will listen to the wisdom of people that God has put in my life...for in it I may find divine directions.

Photo by Rob Bye on Unsplash[/et_pb_text][et_pb_team_member admin_label="Robert Kenneth Jones" name="Robert Kenneth Jones" position="Columnist" image_url="https://chaplainusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/robert.jpg" facebook_url="https://www.facebook.com/KenJonesBoy" linkedin_url="https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-kenneth-jones-8861183/" _builder_version="3.5.1" header_font_size="26px" saved_tabs="all" use_background_color_gradient="off" background_color_gradient_direction="180deg" parallax="off" background_size="cover" background_position="center" background_repeat="no-repeat" background_blend="normal" allow_player_pause="off" background_video_pause_outside_viewport="on" header_level="h4" header_letter_spacing="0px" header_text_shadow_style="none" body_letter_spacing="0px" body_text_shadow_style="none" border_radii="on|1px|1px|1px|1px" border_radii_image="on|29px|29px|29px|29px" box_shadow_style="none" box_shadow_style_image="none" text_orientation="left" background_layout="light" max_width="89%" filter_hue_rotate="0deg" filter_saturate="95%" filter_brightness="100%" filter_contrast="100%" filter_invert="0%" filter_sepia="0%" filter_opacity="100%" filter_blur="0px" mix_blend_mode="normal" child_filter_hue_rotate="0deg" child_filter_saturate="100%" child_filter_brightness="100%" child_filter_contrast="100%" child_filter_invert="0%" child_filter_sepia="0%" child_filter_opacity="100%" child_filter_blur="0px" child_mix_blend_mode="normal" animation_style="fade" animation_repeat="once" animation_direction="center" animation_duration="1000ms" animation_delay="0ms" animation_starting_opacity="0%" animation_speed_curve="ease-in-out" animation="off" text_shadow_style="none" header_font="||||||||" header_text_align="left" body_font="||||||||" body_font_size="14px" body_line_height="1.4em" module_alignment="center" custom_padding="47px|33px|0px|32px" border_width_all="2px" border_color_all="#d4cfc4" custom_margin="38px|||" global_module="26968"]Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast[/et_pb_team_member][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

Robert Kenneth Jones 6/9/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 6/9/18

Sometimes the Runner Stumbles

We feel like giving in or giving up. But if we ask for help and get back up we will find that there are always resources enough to carry on.

"Deep down we know that what matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too, even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then." ~ Mr. Rogers

One of my favorite movies was the 1981 classic Chariots of Fire. It was a story of faith and dedication to the pursuit of our passion. It also dealt with overcoming the expectations and negative perspective of detractors.It gave me the sense that following my dreams was more important than the opinions of others. It also led me to an understanding that ‘sometimes the runner stumbles’. We don’t get it right all of the time. We fall to the ground in dejection. We feel like giving in or giving up. But if we ask for help and get back up we will find that there are always resources enough to carry on.Great things begin to happen when we grasp the idea that it is our mission to be passionately engaged with one another. It is of the highest priority. My wife was a teacher of Special Education who was actively engaged in Special Olympics.There is a story that circulates quite frequently about that great program, founded by Eunice Kennedy Shriver. It seems that nine contestants had signed up for the hundred yard dash one year at an Olympic site. They lined up and took off at the sound of the starter pistol. One of the little boys didn’t get very far before stumbling and falling.His knee was skinned and he started to cry. The other eight kids heard him, and rather than running ahead, turned around, and ran back to him. All eight of them went back! The boy got up, his friends linked their arms together and joyfully walked to the finish line. They all completed the race at the same time to the roar of the crowd, cheers, and whistles. The celebration went on for a long time.We are reminded that when we help the one who stumbles and lock arms in solidarity with God that the words of the prophets are fulfilled;‘We will regain our strength. We will sprout wings like eagles. Though we run we will not grow weary. Though we walk we will never tire’.Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration, and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 6/6/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 6/6/18

The Big Questions; For Those Who Dare to Dream

“Some men see things as they are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not.” ~ Robert Francis Kennedy

“Some men see things as they are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not.” ~ Robert Francis Kennedy

Fifty years ago we lost a great dreamer when Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed. He had become an asker of the Big Questions. ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’ tug at us to resist obedience.Businesses and corporations generally don’t like these questions unless they specifically direct an investigation which might benefit the organization. Governments recoil from the questions and punish them if they can.Religions tend to answer the inquiries with doctrine and theology that demand blind faith. ‘Why’ is threatening because it gets to the heart of motives. And when motives are tested the fabric of an institution is threatened. ‘Why Not’ demands change and action. They would all rather we just settle for ‘How’.

"To ask, 'How do you do it?' is already starting off on the wrong foot. When reaching for the stars, there does not have to be a 'how' if there is a big enough 'why'.” ~ Criss Jami

When the ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’ cooperate and collaborate all of the ‘how’s’ will be answered. New ways of thinking are born. We begin to understand that opposing concepts and beliefs are not a threat, but challenges for deepening and growth.Obedience might be important for parents who are trying to protect a toddler. But once we are able to walk under our own steam, the questions of ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’ become the two most empowering elements of personal evolution. Compliance and conformity only lead us to submissiveness.There were ugly and broken times in the life of Bobby Kennedy. But when he was transformed by ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’, he evolved into a beacon of change for all those who struggle with hopelessness.He taught us that if we keep asking those Big Questions dreams can become reality.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Robert Kenneth Jones 6/2/18 Robert Kenneth Jones 6/2/18

Transforming Cheerfulness

Cheerful people leave a lasting impact. The joy, mirth and laughter that follow a cheerful soul bring gifts of optimism and a sort of sunrise to the spirit of others. We have a choice. We can be determined to be cheerful or we can be restrained, unremarkable and boring.

"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost." ~ Helen Keller

People who have been transformed by some significant experience can be so inspiring. I wonder why they can also annoy us. We have all been around someone who has made an alter call, been on a spiritual adventure or who has found new life in recovery from addiction. We have encountered those ignited by a self-help course, heard a speech that was life changing or just returned from a retreat.They want so much to tell us their story and bring us with them on the new-found path. But they also can transmit a kind of overwhelming morality and seriousness which can make us want to get away from them as soon as possible. We want what they have found but hesitate in the face of their cheerfulness. Perhaps it’s because we are afraid to change.It is easier to accept the challenge of change when we recognize it as a gift. When received as a gift, change will necessarily lead us to cheerful action. Helen Keller’s directive to ‘be of good cheer’ is incredibly important. They call us to do good in the world with a cheerful spirit.

When we are unselfish, generous without expectation of paybacks, and welcoming of strangers, people will begin to believe in the truth of our own transformation. When we treat those who can’t fight back with mercy, love those who don’t love us and forgive those who have harmed us, our new character will shine. Something beautiful will happen. The cheerful person with opened arms will soon find them filled with those who have been waiting for our embrace.

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Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast