We Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident

“…that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

Can it be true that Americans are alienated?  Have we lost hope in the future? Do many of us feel that we don't matter?  These questions weigh heavily as this Fourth of July arrives.There seems to be so much disdain for the beliefs and values of those on the other side.  We have forgotten that the turmoil we're in has always gone, to one degree or another, with the territory. It's actually something to celebrate.I think it is a good time to steal back some of our open-minded, multi-partisan patriotism and present it to one another without fear.  This is our country.

It is a land where hope and faith in tomorrow have forged a unique system of democracy which always looks forward.  We must never waive or compromise our fundamental and unalienable rights. Our sins cannot define us unless we decide to wallow in them.  Our goodness can guide the course of our ship with a compass whose true north always points us to unfettered freedom for one and all.

"The American, by nature, is optimistic. He is experimental, an inventor, and a builder who builds best when called upon to build greatly." ~ John F. Kennedy

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

From Sea to Shining Sea

“Territory is but the body of a nation.  The people who inhabit its hills and valleys are its soul, its spirit, its life.” ~ James Garfield (20th U.S. President)

We are approaching the celebration of our national holiday which marks a bold declaration of independence followed by 242 years of struggle for freedom.  We are a nation becoming. This great experiment in democracy has overcome many obstacles, flaws, and shortcomings while never resting in a quest of liberty and justice for all.Is any amount of fireworks, colorful parades or waving of flags too flamboyant or dramatic on The Fourth of July? I think not. Independence Day is no small event. For it is not that we are just a great country.  We celebrate because we are a diverse and determined people who will not be satisfied.

In the words of the song for Ella Baker, “We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes.”

Each year at this time we are welcomed back home from sea to shining sea with all differences set aside. Disgruntled people on the extreme right or left of our political spectrum for at least one day can stop their quarrels with the knowledge that our virtues far outweigh our shortcomings.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Our Common Humanity

“My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.” ~ Desmond Tutu

We get to choose whether we will be connected with one another or not.  But if we don’t, how can we ever be fully human?  It seems so much easier to disconnect rather than to struggle with personal relationships.  The risk of rejection and pain can be daunting.

Life can be confusing.  We know, for example, that understanding ourselves requires some disciplined work.  We cannot connect with our brothers if we are disconnected from our inner selves.  Likewise, however, we cannot connect with our inner selves if we are disconnected from our community of friends, family, and neighbors.

This is also true in our mysterious relationship with God.  When we begin to accept that each human being is a reflection of God, a child of God, and a manifestation of God, the confusion begins to disappear.  When we begin to embrace the sacredness of every person-to-person encounter as a kind of holy meeting, relationships become irresistible.  God is for us, with us and within us.  It is in this reality that we are able to connect with each other, with ourselves and with our God.

“Your neighbor is your unknown self.” ~ Miguel de Unamuno 

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Full Steam Ahead

“Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some happy, and some exciting. But if you never turn the page…you never know what the next chapter holds.” ~ Zig Ziglar

The newest chapter of your story just opened.  Much has happened so far.  There have been friends, lovers, drama, disappointment, tragedy, thrills and spills.  It has every element of a best-seller.  Looking over the pages already written, there are things we might have scripted differently.But then the unfolding would have been altered, making it almost impossible to reach this part.  What a tale it is.  How interesting and compelling.  Wouldn’t it be sad if we made it boring and dull by sitting around, feeling sorry for ourselves, doing little or nothing?  This newest chapter could hold the climax to the whole thing.

Life is all about participating fully.  We might need time for rest, reflection and refueling, but never need to languish so long that the adventure goes on without us.  God has given us an amazing gift of here and now.  He puts a pen in our hands and asks us author this page.He gives us everything we need, waits with us, prays with us, celebrates with us and grieves with us.  He delights in what we do just as a parent delights in the development of the growing toddler.  Every step and every move are a source of joy.  As a grandfather, I get to hear wonderful stories about the never-a-dull-moment lives our little kids are living.This is the nature of full participation.  No dull moments.  No time for self-pity.  No more resentment.  Write your story well.  Move on.  Just like my Dad often said. ‘Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead’.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

The Journey of Becoming

“Action is the abundance of the heart.” ~ Maurice Blondel

Our very existence is a testimony to transcendence.  We are becoming.  From our first moment of life to our last breath, we are becoming.  From our first skinned knee through health challenges of old age we are becoming.  From our first taste of chocolate to the savoring of fine wine, we are becoming.  We are finding our way home in all of our actions, all of our choices and all of our wanderings.This life journey of becoming may seem to be filled with pitfalls and mistakes with only punctuations of brilliance and joy.  But in fact, it is a joyful and brilliant trip with some times of pain and difficulty.The challenge of understanding this truth is offered up so that we might find the infinite in every moment.  Then we will not only endure and survive but will be enabled to rise above. This transcendence will remind us that what we do matters.Our actions will come from an abundance of the heart. They will become more deliberate and considered while knee-jerk reactions fade away.  They will be directed by a power higher than ourselves.Banner photo by Nathan Dumlao on UnsplashRobert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration, and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Removing Barriers To Care for Youth

I have been writing about encouraging trends in mental health (and substance abuse) treatment for children and adolescents for the past several weeks.  Most notably, the evolution of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) screening/assessment information and Trauma Informed Care protocols gives new hope for the most vulnerable among us.

But even as I celebrate these advances in the way we understand and care for kids who suffer and struggle, the systems which would bring them relief continue to slowly (painfully) creep along, stall out, and then start to crawl a little more.

The good news that we have developed incredible tools, scientific breakthroughs and individualized treatment models which offer a brighter life for untold thousands of children is tempered by legislative and societal hesitation to embrace and fund them for delivery.

Slow and Steady May Win the Race...But At the High Cost of Human Suffering

Consider how long it has taken for us to offer mental health and substance abuse treatment services to children and adolescents at a level similar to other illnesses.  In 1996 Congress passed the Wellstone/Domenici Mental Health Parity Act (MHPA) which basically asserts that insurance companies cannot charge more for mental health/substance abuse than medical/surgical coverage when (or if) it is offered in the benefit plan.

It was not until 2008 that The Mental Health and Addiction Parity Rule (MHPAEA) was passed to fill in obvious gaps. MHPAEA requires health insurers and group health plans to provide the same level of benefits for mental/substance use treatment and services that they do for medical/surgical care.

Finally, on March 29, 2016 the Final Parity Rule related to MHPAEA  was passed.  It requires Medicaid and Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) managed-care plans to cover mental health and addiction treatment at the same level as medical and surgical care.  It has taken 22 years to get to this point.  And it’s still far from perfect. States have the authority to limit and restrict benefits.

While states like Texas have stepped forward to fully fund their programs others have not.  Insurance companies continue to deny coverage and to treat substance abuse disorders (SUDS) and mental illness (MI) as if they were non-essential.  Managed care companies fight providers every step of the way as services are attempted to be provided for kids who suffer.  The ideal of the Final Rule was to offer the same quality of comprehensive care to SUDS/MI as is offered to diabetes patients (including home health care benefits).

That just is not happening even though a nearly flawless model is provided by American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) Placement, Continued Stay and Discharge Criteria which individualizes and guides treatment based on the severity of illness.

Charting a Way Forward

In 1989, I was chosen as one of the professionals that would help develop the ASAM guidelines for children and adolescents.  Dozens of us met in Cleveland, Ohio with the National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers core group.  We were challenged with the task of creating a system which would provide individualized treatment protocols for kids who were struggling with SUDS and dual diagnosis MI.

The plan was then coordinated with a similar adult model.  In 1992, ASAM unveiled the final draft to government officials, insurance providers and treatment professionals of every stripe in Atlanta.  We believed that we were ending a one-size-fits-all approach to these illnesses with a comprehensive one which truly addressed the needs of the individual patient/client.  It was an exciting time and universally accepted as the new Best Practice.

Unfortunately, most everyone went back home and continued the same old ways of operating.  A few of us made major programmatic changes and the results were incredible.  But mostly, we had just given insurance companies more efficient ways of denying coverage. Twenty years after the Atlanta unveiling, I ran into Dr. David Mee-Lee, MD who was one of the originators of ASAM at a conference.

We shared some reminiscences and I asked him what he was presenting.  He sighed, telling me he was promoting the use of the ASAM Criteria remarking; “After 20 years they still don’t get it…but they will.” David has the patience of Job.

Many Factors Influence the Underutilization of SUDS/MI Services by Parents and Children.

Despite the Final Rule of The Mental Health and Addiction Parity Act (MHPAEA), Medicaid and Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) making it possible for people from all socio-economic levels to access mental health and substance abuse services for children and adolescents, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) continues to estimate that only 15% to 25% of children with psychiatric disorders receive specialty care.

Furthermore, The Department of Health and Human Services reports that only 6% to 8% of kids who could benefit from alcohol treatment, and 9% to 11% of those who could benefit from drug treatment are able to access treatment. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) informs us that;

• An estimated 3 million U.S. children ages 12 to 17 had a substance use disorder in 2014.
• About 1 in 10 kids ages 12 to 17 (11.4%) had a major depressive episode (MDE) in the past year. Among adolescents with MDE, only 41.2% received treatment or counseling for depression in 2014.

Insurance Companies, HMO’s and Managed Care continue to deny coverage based on the same levels provided to medical/surgical benefits. According to a 2017 column in the conservative Chicago Tribune, about 59 percent of providers in Illinois surveyed said Medicaid managed care organizations “always” or “often” denied coverage for inpatient treatment for addiction and mental health issues during the past year.

Gatekeepers to Treatment

Special patient advocate groups have had to be formed to help consumers fight the adversarial benefit gatekeepers. A friend of mine who works in the insurance industry told me that “We still hire people to say “No” when behavioral health claims are first received regardless of circumstances. Usually people won’t appeal and the company is saved millions.”

The vast majority of SUDS/MI treatment providers still offer consumers the same kind of treatment they were offering three decades ago…usually at higher costs than ever to payors.  I recently called a local inpatient treatment facility which only provides care for those who have health insurance or can afford to pay out-of-pocket.

Their program neither offered trauma informed care nor used ACEs assessments.  It was basically a 12 Step Recovery based program with daily group and individual counseling sessions even though it described “every service we provide is designed to produce the most clinically appropriate solutions to the serious problems facing our patients.”

That said, Memphis is a leader in providing care to kids who suffers SUDS/MI at little or no cost to consumers.  There is a long- term inpatient facility and community based outpatient organization which admit and serve children readily.  Treatment protocols could be more current, but they are forging ahead to meet critical needs unlike any others I have known.

Other factors which are affecting the ineffective delivery of services include stigma, cultural barriers, access to region-wide rather than local distribution of providers, and a shortage of child/adolescent psychiatrists.  Sometimes it is difficult to find treatment even though it might be nearby.  Here is a good resource to make the search easier: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

What We Can Do To Help Right Now

SAMHSA released a statement in June 2018 which reports that opioids are responsible for one in five deaths for young adults.  We have to do something.  We are not powerless players in this country and can influence legislation to make things happen quickly.  We can join advocacy groups, volunteer as mentors and help people find treatment options.  Here are some points of action for you to consider:

• The Helping to End Addiction and Lessen (HEAL) Substance Use Disorders Act of 2018 is in the Senate Finance Committee scheduled for markup on 6/12/2018. It will then (hopefully) move forward.  This Act provides sweeping changes that would alter the way we deal with SUDS/MI. Dr. Nora Volkow, Director of National Institute on Drug Abuse just announced that HEAL is being kicked off at current funding levels of $500 million.  It is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Contact your congressional representatives and Senators.  Encourage them to support HEAL.
• Talk to pediatricians and other doctors you know. Pediatric primary care providers (PCPs) are in a unique position to take a leading role in this effort because families often turn to them first for help with mental health concerns. Although there are a number of systemic, cultural, and individual barriers to accessing mental health care, promising interventions and integrated behavioral health care models have emerged that can be implemented in the primary care setting to help PCPs close the enormous gap between mental health needs and access for children and families experiencing poverty.
• Encourage legislators to change Juvenile Justice treatment of Medicaid eligibility requirements. When kids enter jail or prison, many states terminate their Medicaid enrollment, meaning they must reapply once back home or in the community.  This often leads to gaps in coverage and delays in access to treatment.  There is a House bill that would prohibit states from terminating Medicaid enrollment for youth under 21 who are incarcerated.  It would also require states to re-determine their eligibility prior to release so coverage is immediately available when they return to the community.
• Building Blocks for a Healthy Future is a website where parents, caregivers, and educators can find great tips and tools that help children make healthy decisions as they grow up. Pass this information on to friends, family and associates.
• National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day raises awareness about the importance of emphasizing positive mental health as part of a child’s overall development from birth. This year’s national observance focused on the importance of an integrated health approach to supporting children, youth, and young adults with serious emotional disturbance who have experienced trauma. For more information and downloadable graphics, visit the continually updated Awareness Day 2018 page.
• The Safe Schools/Healthy Students initiative is a program designed to prevent violence and substance abuse among our nation's youth, schools, and communities. The Safe Schools/Healthy Students Initiative takes a comprehensive approach, drawing on the best practices and the latest thinking in education, justice, social services, and mental health to help communities take action. To date, SS/HS has provided services to over 13 million youth and more than $2 billion in funding and other resources to 386 communities in all 50 states across the Nation. For more details about the SS/HS Framework and how it can be used to assist communities engaged in this work, click here.

So let’s get started.  We still have a long way to go if we are serious about abating this life or death healthcare crisis. You are a critical link in making the changes necessary. Please help save our suffering children.

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Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Father's Day and Our Expectations

“Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father's passin'.” ~ Harper Lee

There are many standards by which we might judge the men who helped bring us to life.  But, for lots of people, their fathers’ performance fell short of hopes. The line, spoken to young Scout by Reverend Sykes in “To Kill A Mockingbird” is one of the most simple yet profound ones ever uttered in the movies.

Atticus Finch fought the good fight. And that, regardless of outcomes, merits enduring respect.  What more can we expect from our fathers? ~ from To Kill a Mocking Bird

I was one of the fortunate ones.  My Dad, Ken Jones, was a great, gentle and loving giant who lived life to the fullest.  He made time to take with me him every Sunday as we went on some kind of adventure (often playing hooky from church).

He was always able to demonstrate his love in words and actions, unlike many men who had come back scarred from battle in World War II.  I would squirm as he often posed his question; “Who loves ya baby?” to which I had to reply “Daddy loves me.” How embarrassing! 

He was patient but firm and I made it my mission to avoid disappointing him.  He loved playing cards with me and my friends when we were teenagers and college kids, always taking us for every dime in the poker pot.  I could go on and on.

It’s strange though.  I have found it pretty easy to talk about Dad, and to tell stories about him, but have never written about him in my blogs or columns.  In fact, I have never written about Father’s Day at all.  Maybe because putting it down on paper makes his loss more real or maybe because I didn’t come close to measuring up as a father myself.  I’m not sure which.  But I do know that I was no Ken Jones.

It was a Wednesday, late in the afternoon, in September of 1975 when I pulled into my parent’s driveway to find neighbors gathered on the lawn and an ambulance from Pape Funeral Home in front of the garage.  My first thought was this; “I hope it’s not Dad.”

But it was.  I was 24 and he was 66 when he died.  Both of us were too young.  Dad fought the good fight.  Whether our fathers lived up to our expectations or not, perhaps that is the best gift they can give us.  Stand up Scout.

Banner photo by Wade Austin Ellis on Unsplash

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Seeking Wisdom On The Journey

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"God will bring people and events into our lives, and whatever we may think about them, they are designed for the evolution of His life in us." ~ Thomas Keating

People come to us as mentors by surprise.  One of these wise people bestowed profound wisdom upon me back in 2000. I was wrestling with problems in my life that existed in my past but that were seriously affecting the way that I related to other people in the present. I respected this fellow very much. My decision to ask for help, however, was postponed several times with a variety of excuses.Finally, I found myself sitting in front of his desk. I felt more like a 12-year-old boy than a 49-year-old man. My words spilled out for several minutes. He listened patiently. There, it was done. The barbs and foibles, miscues and mistakes, lies and disguises all summed up in a blubbering mass of emotion. His response was heartfelt and brief.He said “If you don’t forgive yourself, you have missed the whole point.” That was it. No lecture, no judgment, no pontificating over my dilemma, just those few words. I thanked him and took them back to my apartment. Nothing has really been the same ever since.Dr. Doug Talbott’s words have guided me in my personal and professional relationships for eighteen years. They taught me to afford myself the opportunity to heal. I had to stop punishing myself for my mistakes and begin living gently and constructively in the present. I have learned that forgiveness is a key to happiness. I must offer it to everyone in order to be free from resentments.This letting go of resentment has proven to be a touchstone of life. I have learned that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to change the past. All I can do is learn from it. There is no point in holding grudges, bearing resentments or harboring ill will. All of those are heavy burdens that I (and only I) choose to carry. Their weight is too much for anyone to bear. Putting them down allows me to focus on the important mission of living well today. I can do the next right thing. I am not a victim.

Today I will listen to the wisdom of people that God has put in my life...for in it I may find divine directions.

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Sometimes the Runner Stumbles

"Deep down we know that what matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too, even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then." ~ Mr. Rogers

One of my favorite movies was the 1981 classic Chariots of Fire.  It was a story of faith and dedication to the pursuit of our passion.  It also dealt with overcoming the expectations and negative perspective of detractors.It gave me the sense that following my dreams was more important than the opinions of others.  It also led me to an understanding that ‘sometimes the runner stumbles’.  We don’t get it right all of the time.  We fall to the ground in dejection.  We feel like giving in or giving up.  But if we ask for help and get back up we will find that there are always resources enough to carry on.Great things begin to happen when we grasp the idea that it is our mission to be passionately engaged with one another.  It is of the highest priority.  My wife was a teacher of Special Education who was actively engaged in Special Olympics.There is a story that circulates quite frequently about that great program, founded by Eunice Kennedy Shriver.  It seems that nine contestants had signed up for the hundred yard dash one year at an Olympic site.  They lined up and took off at the sound of the starter pistol.  One of the little boys didn’t get very far before stumbling and falling.His knee was skinned and he started to cry. The other eight kids heard him, and rather than running ahead, turned around, and ran back to him.  All eight of them went back!  The boy got up, his friends linked their arms together and joyfully walked to the finish line.  They all completed the race at the same time to the roar of the crowd, cheers, and whistles.  The celebration went on for a long time.We are reminded that when we help the one who stumbles and lock arms in solidarity with God that the words of the prophets are fulfilled;‘We will regain our strength.  We will sprout wings like eagles.  Though we run we will not grow weary.  Though we walk we will never tire’.Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration, and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

The Profound Effect of Childhood Trauma; A Gentle Revolution of Trauma Informed Care

“We are all impacted by trauma.  We are all paying the cost whether personal or societal. We help people heal when we promote connections to one another.” ~ Dr. Vicky Kelly

Nowadays we are witnesses of significant trauma and the consequences of trauma every time we connect with social or commercial media.  We are drawn into graphic displays of individual and community experiences which include violence, abuse, bullying, natural disasters, death, war, terrorism and the effects of an opioid epidemic.  And so, trauma has moved to the forefront of national consciousness.It is important to note that every one of us has experienced some kind of trauma in our own lives as well. Trauma seems to be everywhere.  Of course, it is.  And it always has been.  But with our increased awareness of the pervasiveness of trauma and our collective brokenness, a gentle revolution has evolved.  We have created and are developing behavioral, medical and mental health services that are effectively healing childhood and adult trauma.  This new approach to what the CDC is calling perhaps the single biggest healthcare problem facing our nation today is called Trauma-Informed Care (TIC).Just what is Trauma-Informed Care?Trauma-Informed Care (TIC) is one of the most exciting things to happen in the way we provide psychosocial treatment (behavioral health) services for children and adults. We are shifting our perspective and treatment model from one which asks “What is the matter with you?” to “What happened to you…and how does that impact your life and functioning today?”  This basic modification in approach is offering a dramatic new strategy which is helping people cope and heal.  We are now equipped with new, extensive research and information about trauma, development, and the brain.We begin to be trauma-informed when we understand what trauma is;“Individual trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life-threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being.” ~ Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)There you have it.  SAMSHA gives us a good definition of trauma.  With that understanding, you have just become more trauma-informed.  And I believe that being trauma-informed is a way we can shape the future.Where Did the TIC Model Come From?The stage was set for Trauma-Informed Care by two major research studies.

1. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study (Kaiser Permanente from 1995 to 1997 and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2013) was a large epidemiological study involving more than 17,000 individuals from the United States; it analyzed the long-term effects of childhood and adolescent traumatic experiences on adult health risks, mental health, healthcare costs, and life expectancy.
2. The Women, Co-Occurring Disorders and Violence Study (Multiple studies from 1998 to SAMHSA, 2007) was a large multisite study focused on the role of interpersonal and other traumatic stressors among women; the interrelatedness of trauma, violence, and co-occurring substance use and mental disorders; and the incorporation of trauma-informed and trauma-specific principles, models, and services.

These two studies generated action within the behavioral health systems creating a basic adjustment from short term biomedical/pharmaceutical and behavior modification in nature (diagnosis and symptom treatment) to a longer-term, holistic model of neurological healing which treats the set of circumstances that have created the trauma/stress.  We have not abandoned the other treatments altogether of course. There is still a place for medications and traditional methodology.  We have just found a new and more effective approach.Trauma-Informed Care Comes From a Brain ThingWe can now help brains heal and rewire with Trauma-Informed Care. As a result, there is new hope for victims of adult PTSD and Developmental Trauma Disorder (Childhood PTSD). Studies show that a healthy well-regulated brain where the thinking brain and survival brain work well in tandem can be facilitated with TIC.It helps to understand that we have two brains and a mediator.  The thinking brain is the Cortex.  It is where our personality lives, where we make good decisions, and where our memories are stored. This is where we receive information, process it and take action based on that information.  The other brain is the midbrain and brainstem also known as the survival brain.  It is out autopilot. and runs our bodies so that we don’t have to think about those functions  It is where we are told to breathe, where our heart is told to beat, and where we are informed about how to digest food.  It is also where fight, flight and freeze responses reside. Trauma and stress have particular influence on the survival brain. The important mediator in the brain called the Thalamus which receives sensory information (sight, sound, touch, taste) and acts as a relay station that sends a signal to both brains. The survival brain is wired faster than thinking brain (because the faster you react the more likely you are to survive).Here is why this is so vital to trauma-informed care.  The brains of adults who suffer from PTSD and children with Developmental Trauma Disorder have been hyper-activated or hyper-aroused.  A soldier who is constantly facing an enemy who wants to kill him or a child who is being sexually, physically or emotionally abused is in a survival brain mode of operation of fight, flight or freeze twenty-four hours a day.  When that soldier returns home from war, or when the abused child is placed in another home the brain is still programmed to expect trauma or abuse. The thinking brain has been informed of the change but the survival brain is still hyper-activated. They cannot think their way out of new stressful situations but react with programmed survival brain responses.Traumatized brain impacts:

1. Fear and lack of safety in the adult or child’s environment cause automatic conditioned behavioral responses of fight, flight and freeze (along with more complicated survival responses such as hiding, withdrawing, pretending, and so on). Brain studies show that the survival brain literally hijacks (turns off) the thinking brain. In other words, the traumatized brain cannot effectively discern good decisions from bad decisions because it cannot always access the thinking brain.
2. The brain’s alarm system for danger becomes distorted. The traumatized brain perceives the presence of danger almost everywhere.  Impedes the ability to find help and establish relationships.
3. An inability to appraise the present and to learn from experience. The traumatized brain becomes Velcro for bad and Teflon for good. Such that good experiences in later life cannot balance the negative trauma experiences of the past (childhood).

Now that we know all of these things about the brain and can actually see how it works in brain imaging and brain scans we are tasked with doing things to reduce the stress from trauma.The hurt happens in powerful childhood relationships and it takes new relationships to promote the healing.  We have found that Trauma-Informed Care actually causes the brain to reprogram.TIC; A ‘Best Practice’ for Kids and AdultsDuring my 48 years as a provider of behavioral services for children and adolescents, I have seen the worst kinds of things that can happen to my clients. They have suffered multiple stressors that most people could never imagine.  And the effects are cumulative. These are kids who have been physically and sexually abused.  They have experienced their mothers enduring domestic violence and other disturbing chaos at home.  Many witness chronic substance abuse and the effects of mental illness every day along with frequent incarceration of family members. They are dependent and neglected.Trauma-Informed care has allowed me to see my clients through a new pair of glasses.  I believe that this exciting treatment model is the emerging framework for human service delivery. Until recently, the toxic stress and trauma these kids faced went largely untreated or undertreated.  Trauma-Informed Care is now effectively healing the effects of the traumatic events which result in adverse physical, social, emotional, or spiritual consequences. One example of a TIC program in action can be found at St. Aemilian-Lakeside in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. SaintA is in the forefront of trauma-informed care therapeutic practices.  They teach that there are seven essential ingredients in understanding what trauma-informed care is and how to implement it. These elements are;

1. Prevalence — Exposure to and difficulty adjusting to adverse experiences is significantly more common than we previously had known. A keen appreciation for the scope of adverse events, especially on children, is a key element to understanding the needs of people who have been exposed to events such as domestic violence and substance abuse, separation/divorce, mental illness, physical and sexual abuse, emotional and physical neglect, and acts of violence.
2. Impact — Trauma occurs when a person’s ability to cope with an adverse event is overwhelmed and contributes to difficulties in functioning. The impact of this process is profound, especially when the adverse event occurs during key developmental timeframes. The seminal ACE (adverse childhood experiences) study shows how early trauma also can have a serious effect on a person’s physical health in later life and ultimately impact life expectancy.
3. Perspective Shift — A shift in perspective can bring a new reality. Helping those charged with caring for people struggling with trauma by simply changing the question from “What is wrong with you?” to “What has happened to you and how can I support you?” can bring enormous understanding.
4. Regulation — Knowledge of the basic architecture of the brain provides both an understanding of the impact of trauma and a key toward effective treatment. Many of the interventions that have been offered to people struggling with trauma have focused on the cognitive or “thinking” parts of the brain. Trauma-informed interventions often prioritize enhancing emotional and behavioral regulation. This could include the use of sensory and regulating strategies such as drumming, singing, dancing, yoga, etc., which have been shown to be effective in addressing the impact of trauma.
5. Relationship — Relationships are key to reaching a traumatized child and to mitigating trauma. Strong relationships help create resilience and shield a child from the effects of trauma.
6. Reason to Be — Reason to be creates a sense of purpose or direction for individuals by ensuring they’re connected to family, community, and culture. It is bolstered by resiliency – a combination of the individual’s internal attributes and the external resources that support them.
7. Caregiver Capacity — To effectively work with traumatized individuals, caregivers must take care of themselves and find a work/life balance. Critical is identifying our limits, knowing sometimes we will be pushed beyond them, and what we will do to find balance.

They have a YouTube video which is terrific at telling the story of Trauma Informed Care.  I suggest that you connect with it at the following web address: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_dZAqP_tfYSAMHSA offers some sobering statistics in their recent Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP 57) that have compelled service providers of all stripes from educators to chaplains to behavior and mental health professionals to juvenile justice institutions and police officers to embrace trauma-specific interventions in their work.  How can we not when we learn that;

• 71 percent of all children are exposed to violence every year
• 3 million children are maltreated or neglected each year
• 5-10 million kids witness violence against their mother each year
• 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before adulthood
• 94 percent of children in juvenile justice settings have experienced extreme trauma

Finally, Trauma-Informed Care is about healing through building safe relationships and developing trust. When mentors extend a helping hand to kids and adults who have suffered so much they begin to develop a reason for being.  Peer support and mutual self-help are also key vehicles for establishing safety and hope, building trust, enhancing collaboration, serving as models of recovery, healing, and maximizing a sense of empowerment.We can make this happen by encouraging politicians to sponsor ACEs and TIC legislation.  We can make this happen by making noise in the public square at PTA meetings, Service Clubs, Town Hall gatherings and the like.  We can make this happen by offering ourselves as available mentors. There is a groundswell of hope.  38 states and the District of Columbia are gearing up.  It’s time to join the movement.Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

The Big Questions; For Those Who Dare to Dream

“Some men see things as they are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were, and ask why not.” ~ Robert Francis Kennedy

Fifty years ago we lost a great dreamer when Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed.  He had become an asker of the Big Questions.  ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’ tug at us to resist obedience.Businesses and corporations generally don’t like these questions unless they specifically direct an investigation which might benefit the organization.  Governments recoil from the questions and punish them if they can.Religions tend to answer the inquiries with doctrine and theology that demand blind faith.  ‘Why’ is threatening because it gets to the heart of motives. And when motives are tested the fabric of an institution is threatened. ‘Why Not’ demands change and action.  They would all rather we just settle for ‘How’.

"To ask, 'How do you do it?' is already starting off on the wrong foot. When reaching for the stars, there does not have to be a 'how' if there is a big enough 'why'.” ~ Criss Jami

When the ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’ cooperate and collaborate all of the ‘how’s’ will be answered.  New ways of thinking are born.  We begin to understand that opposing concepts and beliefs are not a threat, but challenges for deepening and growth.Obedience might be important for parents who are trying to protect a toddler.  But once we are able to walk under our own steam, the questions of ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’ become the two most empowering elements of personal evolution.  Compliance and conformity only lead us to submissiveness.There were ugly and broken times in the life of Bobby Kennedy.  But when he was transformed by ‘Why’ and ‘Why Not’, he evolved into a beacon of change for all those who struggle with hopelessness.He taught us that if we keep asking those Big Questions dreams can become reality.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Kids in Trouble; Injustice Posing as Justice in America

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“I think it’s important for us as a society to remember that the youth within juvenile justice systems are, most of the time, youths who simply haven’t had the right mentors and supporters around them because of circumstances beyond their control.”  ~ Q’orianka Kilcher

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I am worried about the way we treat children in trouble.

This is not a new feeling or experience for me.  But it has intensified.  It’s not new because I have been struggling with the system which incarcerates warehouses, punishes and abuses kids since 1973.  It has intensified because, despite domestic progress made over the past 45 years, recent treatment of children rounded up and separated from their parents at our southern border set off alarms that cannot be ignored.  They, like approximately 50,000 children in the United States are incarcerated.This number represents one of the highest rates of juvenile detention in the world. Shockingly, it is also true that every state in the union allows children to be tried as adults under some circumstances, and approximately 5,000 child offenders are held in adult jails or prisons at any point in time.We must understand that these children in our juvenile justice system and those detained at our border are always suffering from the effects of serious trauma. My worries have intensified because we are exacerbating this trauma by the way we are treating our most vulnerable.

Incarceration of Children; Harsh Conditions Which Re-traumatize

Incarceration is defined for adults as a process by which a person is forcibly taken into custody and deprived of liberty.  The same definition should be recognized for kids.  But we try to dress up child incarceration facilities by giving them ambiguous names.  They are rarely called prisons or jails.  We know them as wilderness camps, youth centers, juvenile halls, training schools, development centers and dozens of other names.  I was the executive director of one such place called Lighthouse Care Center.  The pleasant name obscured the fact that within our cottages, many of the most abusive elements of adult incarceration were going on every day.The 12 to 17 year old girls were committed to indefinite lengths of stay with us by the Department of Corrections.  Very little of our camp-like atmosphere resembled the guiding beam of a lighthouse to the kids who lived there.  Counselors were more like gatekeepers who kept score of behavioral infractions which lengthened the amount of time the girls would be living there.  The kids were regularly restrained for aggressive behavior.  They had no freedom to choose any personal or community activity.  There was very little compassion or care at Lighthouse Care. I don’t intend to single out that one juvenile facility.  My work within the prison system informed me that all of them were about the same.Harsh conditions, or policies and procedures within places of confinement for troubled children hinder normal child development, traumatize children, worsen physical and emotional disabilities and cause a lifetime of health problems. Too many kids are incarcerated in solitary confinement for 22-24 hours per day. Imagine what it must be like for a child locked up alone in a small empty room for days, weeks, or even months. This is exactly what is happening in every community.  Solitary confinement can cause permanent psychological damage and may lead to self-harm, schizophrenia, psychotic disorders, and suicide. Studies suggest that youth of color, LGBTQI kids, and those with disabilities are more likely to be placed in solitary confinement “for their own protection,” or because the facility lacks appropriate services or accommodations.Strip searches likewise are traumatic, degrading, and humiliating. Children, especially those who have been sexually abused, can be re-traumatized  by strip searches.  They often feel like their perpetrator is violating them all over again by these searches. Although federal law prohibits sexual violence against incarcerated kids, children still remain at risk of sexual assault in juvenile facilities.Incarcerated kids are also subject to shackles, pepper sprays and sleep on nothing more than a lightly padded concrete slabs. These abusive practices cause physical injuries, emotional trauma, psychological damage, and interrupt healthy development. Children in these facilities face physical and sexual violence at the hands of adult employees charged with their care and by other children.  This compounds the trauma imposed by their isolation and separation from families, friends and schools. Furthermore, few of the institutions provide quality education services or access to mental health care. Under these cruel and harsh conditions, a system which was designed to habilitate children and provide them second chances, causes more harm than good and does little to protect our communities.Perhaps the most startling indictment among the many discussed above is this; The United States is the only country in the world that sentences people to die in prison for offenses committed while under the age of 18.

The Child and Adolescent Brain; Understanding Diminished Reasoning or “Why Teenagers Act Crazy”

Brain-science research was cited by Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy in the 2005 ruling (Roper v. Simmons) which banned capital punishment for crimes that were committed when a defendant was under the age of 18.  The Court ruled that “standards of decency” had evolved to recognize that a juvenile’s “lack of maturity and an underdeveloped sense of responsibility” distinguished his crimes from those of an adult. The ruling was based on research showing that the brain is still developing during adolescence, making young people especially vulnerable to impulsive behaviors.Despite the common sense stand of the Supreme Court, forty-four states and the District of Columbia continue to regard children as young as 14 years of age as mature enough to be held just as responsible as adults in the criminal court. They virtually ignore what is known about child and adolescent brain development and give little support or full consideration of age-appropriate services and supports. Governors and legislatures still operate within the tough-on-crime framework that led to the rise in the misguided imposition of life without parole on so many juveniles based on the false notion that they were “superpredators.”

These are some of the most important things to know about current findings in adolescent neuroscience:

• During adolescence, the brain begins its final stages of maturation and continues to rapidly develop well into a person’s early 20s, concluding around the age of 25.5
• The prefrontal cortex, which governs the “executive functions” of reasoning, advanced thought and impulse control, is the final area of the human brain to mature
• Adolescents generally seek greater risks for various social, emotional and physical reasons, including changes in the brain’s neurotransmitters, such as dopamine, which influence memory, concentration, problem-solving and other mental functions. Dopamine is not yet at its most effective level in adolescence
• Adolescents commonly experience “reward-deficiency syndrome,” which means they are no longer stimulated by activities that thrilled them as younger children. Thus, they often engage in activities of greater risk and higher stimulation in efforts to achieve similar levels of excitement
• Adolescents must rely heavily on the parts of the brain that house the emotional centers when making decisions, because the frontal regions of their brains are not fully developed

Scientists and clinicians interested in the practical application of neuroscience have created a substantive body of work that should inform juvenile justice policy. The MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Adolescent Development and Juvenile Justice established and expanded the knowledge base on adolescents and crime, and dissemination of that knowledge to juvenile justice practitioners and policy-makers has played a critical role in policy change.Organizations like the National Conference of State Legislatures have summarized research for application to law, such as “bright line” age limits. Nonprofit groups such as the Juvenile Law Center use brain science research to produce recommendations for the improvement of the juvenile justice system. Models for Change, a multi-state initiative relying on a network of court officials, legal advocates, and researchers, produces research-based tools and techniques to make juvenile justice systems more fair, effective, rational, and developmentally appropriate.Other scientific groups, including the American Association for the Advancement of Science, are examining juvenile justice through their existing brain science lens. And the National Academy of Science’s National Research Council recent report, Reforming Juvenile Justice, organizes all recent research to promote a developmental agenda for juvenile justice in the future.Child/Adolescent neuroscience research confirms that we have no business treating children and adolescents the way we do under the current Juvenile Justice model.  The distinction between youth and adults is not simply one of age.  Our brains operate differently.  Our bodies operate differently.  And when trauma has shaped early childhood behavior there is no way that we can expect good judgement, impulse control or predictable responses to consequences.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Trauma Informed Care (TIC) for Juvenile Offenders

I recently wrote a column on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) for ChaplainUSA. To summarize it I would re-iterate that decades of research have solidified the link between childhood trauma and poor outcomes later in life. The number of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) determines the risk for a wide range of health problems including heart disease, chronic bronchitis or emphysema, diabetes, severe obesity, substance abuse, suicide attempts, cancers of all kinds and early death. The more ACEs a person has, the higher their risk for chronic disease and a shorter than average lifespan.It has also been shown that ACEs result in a range of behaviors punishable by the law. According to figures from the National Institute of Justice, abuse or neglect in childhood raised the chances of kids being arrested by 59 percent. The likelihood of criminal behavior in adulthood increased by 28 percent and violent crime by 30 percent, according to another study cited by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  Kids in the juvenile justice system have often have been exposed to multiple types of victimization and other childhood adversities. In total, this more than doubles the number of traumatized youth in juvenile justice programs (67 to 75 percent) who need effective services in order to recover from Childhood PTSD and a wide range of related emotional, developmental, academic and behavioral problems such as substance use, attention deficit, oppositional-defiant, sleep and eating disorders, suicidality self-harm, exploitation and sexual trafficking.These stark facts have led to an international call to action in the past decade for juvenile justice systems to become trauma-informed. The 2012 report of the U.S. Attorney General’s Task Force on Children Exposed to Violence identified nine practical steps based on the experience of experts in law enforcement, the judiciary, juvenile justice services, child protective services, racial and ethnic disparities, and traumatic stress. This was done under the leadership of Robert Listenbee, the administrator of the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention:

1. Make trauma-informed (Aces) screening, assessment and care the standard in juvenile justice services.
2. Abandon juvenile justice correctional practices that traumatize children and further reduce their opportunities to become productive members of society.
3. Provide juvenile justice services appropriate to children’s ethnocultural background that are based on an assessment of each violence-exposed child’s individual needs.
4. Provide care and services to address the special circumstances and needs of girls.
5. Provide care and services to address the special circumstances and needs of LGBTQ (lesbian/gay/bisexual/transsexual/questioning) youth.
6. Develop and implement policies in every school system across the country that aim to keep children in school rather than relying on policies that lead to suspension and expulsion and ultimately drive children into the juvenile justice system.
7. Guarantee that all violence-exposed children accused of a crime have legal representation.
8. Help, do not punish, child victims of sex trafficking.
9. Whenever possible, prosecute young offenders in the juvenile justice system instead of transferring their cases to adult courts.

Nadine Burke Harris, CEO of the Center for Youth Wellness recently reported that “Many of the kids who end up in the juvenile justice system, the vast majority of them have been exposed to high doses of adversity. Screening is the key to prevention, not just for illness but for jail time, too. We’re looking at it from a health standpoint, but we know for a fact that if we’re screening for ACEs and doing effective intervention, it’s going to impact justice outcomes.”The good news is that Juvenile jails are adopting ACE and trauma-informed practices. Jane Halladay, of the National Child Traumatic Stress Network has been working to disseminate best practices in partnership with the federal Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, says the political and funding climate for trauma-informed juvenile justice work has brightened in recent years. “It’s now infiltrating the federal mandates, or at least it’s becoming part of the language,” she says. “There are more strategies and practices available. There’s also a really long way to go.”It seems obvious to me that using ACEs and TICs will bring about changes that will forever change the broken juvenile justice system. 

The Movement to Change Juvenile Law and the Treatment of Kids in Trouble

"There are no monsters, villains, or bad guys.  There are only folks who carry unspeakable pain." ~ Gregory Boyle

 Gregory Boyle, founder of Homeboy Industries, is a leader in reforming the way we look at and treat both kids and adults who have been incarcerated.  He asks us to refrain from an us versus them attitude.  The successful results of his work have commanded the attention of people across the country.  He simply does not recognize good and evil.  Instead, he offers unconditional love and compassion to those who have suffered through pain few of us can imagine.  The community, not an institution of confinement, is the vehicle that will bring healing to kids in trouble.A report by Wendy Sawyer called “Youth Confinement: The Whole Pie” addresses the grim statistics and facts surrounding the juvenile incarceration problem. She detailed some action steps that we can encourage legislators to take in addressing the issues she discussed in her study:

• Updating laws to reflect our current understanding of brain development and criminal behavior over the life course, such as raising the age of juvenile court jurisdiction and ending the prosecution of youth as adults;
• Removing all youth from adult jails and prisons;
• Shifting youth away from confinement and investing in non-residential community-based programs;
• Limiting pretrial detention and youth confinement to the very few who, if released, would pose a clear risk to public safety;
• Eliminating detention or residential placement for technical violations of probation and diverting status offenses away from the juvenile justice system;
• Strengthening and reauthorizing the Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Act to promote alternatives to youth incarceration and support critical juvenile justice system improvements.

Juvenile Law Center describes itself as one of the leading advocates for the abolition of solitary confinement and other harmful conditions that youth face in the justice system. Juvenile Law Center's work focuses on: eliminating solitary confinement, strip searches, and the use of excessive force against kids; keeping kids safe from harm — whether from facility staff, other youth, or themselves; ensuring kids have developmentally appropriate care, treatment and programming; fair treatment, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, or disability status; and reducing the over-incarceration of youth and promoting alternatives to incarceration.I am currently associated with innovative community leaders who drive the Shelby County, (Memphis) Tennessee Juvenile Detention Alternative Initiative. which was designed to support the Annie E Casey Foundation’s vision that all youth involved in the juvenile justice system have opportunities to develop into healthy, productive adults. Shelby County has drastically reduced the number of youth admitted to detention.  It is also actively addressing the gross racial disparity issue with incarcerated kids of color who are five times more likely to be jailed than white kids.

Where to Turn for Help

There are more organizations out there advocating in the public area for reform.  Among them is the The Southern Poverty Law Center which recently told the story of Tyler Haire who was 16 when he was locked up.  The boy spent 1,266 days waiting in a Pittsboro, Mississippi jail awaiting a mental health evaluation. SPLC informs us rightly that the system has let him (and us) down. Another organization,  The John Howard Association of Illinois actively watches over the five juvenile prisons in the state.  It reports that the average annual cost for keeping a child in the state’s facilities is $141,428. Can you imagine what could be done to help a traumatized child with that kind of money? We have already discovered the ways to affect healing changes necessary to help our kids in trouble. The time for action is now.  Our children are waiting.[/et_pb_text][et_pb_team_member name="Robert Kenneth Jones" position="Columnist" image_url="https://chaplainusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/robert.jpg" facebook_url="https://www.facebook.com/KenJonesBoy" linkedin_url="https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-kenneth-jones-8861183/" admin_label="Robert Kenneth Jones" _builder_version="3.5.1" header_font="||||||||" header_text_align="left" header_font_size="26px" body_font="||||||||" body_font_size="14px" body_line_height="1.4em" border_radii="on|1px|1px|1px|1px" border_width_all="2px" border_color_all="#d4cfc4" border_radii_image="on|29px|29px|29px|29px" text_orientation="left" max_width="89%" module_alignment="center" custom_margin="38px|||" custom_padding="47px|33px|0px|32px" filter_saturate="95%" animation_style="fade" global_module="26968" saved_tabs="all"]

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

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Transforming Cheerfulness

"Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost." ~ Helen Keller

People who have been transformed by some significant experience can be so inspiring.  I wonder why they can also annoy us. We have all been around someone who has made an alter call, been on a spiritual adventure or who has found new life in recovery from addiction.  We have encountered those ignited by a self-help course, heard a speech that was life changing or just returned from a retreat.They want so much to tell us their story and bring us with them on the new-found path.  But they also can transmit a kind of overwhelming morality and seriousness which can make us want to get away from them as soon as possible.  We want what they have found but hesitate in the face of their cheerfulness.  Perhaps it’s because we are afraid to change.It is easier to accept the challenge of change when we recognize it as a gift.  When received as a gift, change will necessarily lead us to cheerful action.  Helen Keller’s directive to ‘be of good cheer’ is incredibly important.  They call us to do good in the world with a cheerful spirit.

Cheerful people leave a lasting impact. The joy, mirth and laughter that follow a cheerful soul bring gifts of optimism and a sort of sunrise to the spirit of others. We have a choice. We can be determined to be cheerful or we can be restrained, unremarkable and boring.

When we are unselfish, generous without expectation of paybacks, and welcoming of strangers, people will begin to believe in the truth of our own transformation.  When we treat those who can’t fight back with mercy, love those who don’t love us and forgive those who have harmed us, our new character will shine. Something beautiful will happen.  The cheerful person with opened arms will soon find them filled with those who have been waiting for our embrace.

___________________________

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Forgiving Our Families

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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~  Lewis B. Smedes

It’s not hard to own the hurts we suffered as children and adolescents.  Often, they are packed away in the suitcases that carry us away from home and out into the world.Quarrels, punishments, being discounted and being treated unfairly are taken along with all the necessities, gifts and treasures.  We make promises to ourselves saying that we will NEVER treat our kids the way our family treated us.  Scott Fitzgerald likens these wounds to ‘splits in the skin that won’t heal’.  So we arrive at our destination, unpack, and neatly tuck them away as well earned, lifelong resentments.  They become poisonous possessions.

"Sticking with your family is what makes it a family.” ~ Mitch Albom

Forgiving family members for the cruelties, meanness and injustice we suffered is not absolving them for those behaviors.  A friend of mine had a difficult childhood with a mother who was filled with anger and pain.  Her loving responses always came with strings attached.  She was rarely fair to her little girl and often filled her with shame and guilt.My friend struggled and kept going back for more, sometimes doubting her own quality of mothering with her children.  Finally, she determined to have a relationship with her mother that had clearly defined boundaries.  She made a profession of forgiveness to her mother and extended forgiven-ness to herself.  She loves her mother from a safe distance and has released herself from bondage.Visits back home do not allow for putdowns or guilt trips.  Her family and memories as restored treasures since she emptied out the packed away resentments and claimed freedom.The work of healing cannot begin until we find it in our hearts to let go.  Family is a gift presented to us by a loving God.  These are the people who know us best and with whom we are most deeply connected.  We must find ways to stick together._____________________[/et_pb_text][et_pb_team_member admin_label="Robert Kenneth Jones" name="Robert Kenneth Jones" position="Columnist" image_url="https://chaplainusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/robert.jpg" facebook_url="https://www.facebook.com/KenJonesBoy" linkedin_url="https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-kenneth-jones-8861183/" _builder_version="3.0.101" global_module="26968" saved_tabs="all"]Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast[/et_pb_team_member][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

Tell Your Stories on Memorial Day

“Here is your country. Cherish these natural wonders, cherish the natural resources, cherish the history and romance as a sacred heritage, for your children and your children’s children. Do not let selfish men or greedy interests skin your country of its beauty, its riches or its romance.“ ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Memorial Day weekend is here.

We are leaving in planes, trains and automobiles to celebrate the unofficial start of summer.  Of course, there are more somber reasons for this holiday.  The observance began three years after the end of The Civil War in response to neglected graves of soldiers who gave their lives for cause and country.The original May 30 date for ‘Decoration Day’ (as it was originally called) has been changed.  We now recognize and honor all of those who died in wars and in peacetime.  We put flowers on the resting places of parents, grandparents, children, relatives and friends.  Memorial Day has certainly expanded.

"If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Memorial Day reminds me of who I am.  Each of us comes as a reflection of generations.  Our ancestors are there in the lines and creases, the smiles and the color of our eyes.  Even the inflections of our speech and sense of humor belongs not only to us.  I am made up of their memories.  One of the things we might do on this weekend is to share those memories with family members.What a fitting time this holiday weekend is to tell stories that will honor who we are and who we bring with us. I wish I had listened more closely to the ones that were told when I was a boy. Like so many people, I wish there was a recording of Dad’s voice, his reflections on his service during the war, his perspectives on peace and stories of his childhood.  I long for Mom’s recollections of being a girl and rebelling against her own mother and father.So, I encourage everyone to spend some time at family gatherings this weekend to tell folks about your adventures and misadventures, to share your memories.  You may have to wrestle the younger ones to the ground, bribe them with ice cream or catch them at bedtime.  But now is the time.  Don’t wait because someday, someone might be happy that they listened.

Today I will start to tell my stories.  I will bless my ancestors by passing them on.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Finding My Neighbor

We become neighbors when we are willing to cross the road for one another. There is so much separation and segregation: between black people and white people, between gay people and straight people, between young people and old people, between sick people and healthy people, between prisoners and free people, between Jews and Gentiles, Muslims and Christians, Protestants and Catholics, Greek Catholics and Latin Catholics. There is a lot of road crossing to do. ~ Henri Nouwen

Who is my neighbor? The question is never satisfied with a qualified answer. For some reason we struggle with it in so many ways.  Gun violence and murder in our schools, Black lives matter, Blue lives matter, and a cry of #metoo all plead the same question.  It has resonated in the hearts of people for more than two thousand years.  It can even be found as a scriptural directive.Bishop Michael Curry told us about the great commandment of love at the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.  He said; “Jesus of Nazareth on one occasion was asked by a lawyer to sum up the essence of the teachings of Moses, and he went back and reached back into the Hebrew scriptures to Deuteronomy and Leviticus and Jesus said you shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself.”

The Good Samaritan shows us how to become a neighbor.  He crosses the road to help a stranger and takes the risk of reaching out to a perceived enemy.  The injured victim becomes a neighbor.  He is given kindness and compassion by a stranger where he had been ignored or avoided by his own people.  The neighbor generously rises above community expectations and common practice both in giving and receiving.Who is my neighbor today?  Possibilities for an answer will be presented to us around every corner.  We will have chances to cross the road on more than one occasion.  That friend who has become an irritation is waiting for the hand of forgiveness.  The young person who looked so threatening could use an encouraging word.The one who celebrates a religious practice unlike our own can be asked to lunch for an enlightening exchange of ideas.  The person of another race seeks our genuine brotherhood.  We cannot hope to receive love if we are not willing to give it.  We cannot claim to be members of the human family if we do not rise above that which causes separation.  We must cross the road and become a neighbor.

The world is waiting. Someday we will discover that everyone is our neighbor.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

How Trauma Is Killing Us: Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)

“If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it.” ~ Richard Rohr

Another tragic mass shooting resulted in the deaths of ten people at Santa Fe High School near Houston on Friday, May 19, 2018. There have been 22 school shootings so far this year where someone was injured or died.

It is hard to comprehend.  There has been more than one shooting each week. What is going on? Our children are killing each other in a very public forum at the places where nurturing, learning and growing into good citizens should be happening for them all.

Instead, the threat and fear of death and violence is following them into every classroom.  Why do we adults seem powerless to put measures into effect that would change the situation immediately? We seem to be passively accepting that this is the new normal…that nobody is safe anywhere.  Of course, this is not true. My sense is that we are overwhelmed and don’t understand that unimaginable pain, mental illness and trauma are culprits behind all the violence.

I have learned a lot about (and from) kids through my professional involvement over the past four decades. Even though I would love to pour all of my experiences and wisdom shared by mentors and the kids themselves regarding childhood trauma into these pages, there would never be enough room.  So allow me to synthesize some of what I know about violent children and relate it to school shootings.

1. Childhood trauma is an underpinning of the rage which creates horrific violence.
2. Traumatized kids cannot imagine a future without more pain. Usually, they lead lives filled with current conditions of chaos and unpredictability leaving them continually re-damaged.
3. Aggressive behavior is the last survival behavior a kid uses. He has already tried to find relief in every other way.
4. No hopeful kid ever picked up guns or explosives, took them to school, and started a killing spree. Only hopelessness can create it.
5. No kid ever thought that killing his classmates and teachers would bring him attention and fame. He just wanted to die.

"The status quo is only interested in incessant judging, comparisons, measuring, scapegoating and competition." ~ Gregory Boyle

In each case, experts have lined up to offer all kinds of solutions.  Mostly they involve gun control of one kind or another on one side and the arming/hardening of schools on the other.  We seem to be stuck in debates which lead to very little action.  Unfortunately, almost all of the proposals are reactive.  Rather than putting our efforts into primary prevention, we seem bent on expending massive resources fighting a losing battle against the NRA or by turning schools into impenetrable fortresses.  I wrote a column several weeks ago about the folly of these tertiary interventions as they apply to our addiction epidemic.  The same applies when it comes to this problem.

Since childhood trauma, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), seem to have a causal relationship to violence and school shootings, I believe that we can develop screening and assessment protocols to identify at-risk people and circumstances.  We will then be able to change our modus operandi from blaming, shaming and punishing people to understanding, encouraging and healing them.

What are ACEs?

ACEs are Adverse Childhood Experiences.  These are events which occur before age 18 (most damaging are those which happen prior to age 6) and are beyond a young person’s control.  A lifetime of hardship and adversity can follow which could be passed on from generation to generation.

The principal types of ACEs are:

• Emotional, physical or sexual abuse
• Emotional and physical neglect
• Living in seriously troubled households (homes that have domestic violence, or mental and/or substance (alcohol or drug) disorders, or parental separation or divorce, or a family member who is incarcerated.

As the number of ACEs a youth experiences increase, so too does the risk for these health and mental health problems – often before they depart their teen years. The greater the number of ACEs a youth experiences, the greater is the likelihood of multiple problems. ACEs science clearly shows that childhood trauma results in adolescent and adult-onset of chronic physical and mental illness, violence, and being a victim of violence.

ACEs and the Extreme State

Most of us have been exposed to at least one ACE in our lives.  But very few of us can relate to the impact of real-life, hardcore trauma experiences which cause the ‘survival brain’ to take control of our behavior. Children who have suffered cigarette burns at the hands of parents or those who are abused sexually every night endure torture which most of us cannot imagine.   These events or series of events have been referred to as the extreme state by Dr. Corinne Gerwe.

Sigmund Freud theorized survival as a predominant driving factor in human behavior.  When trauma is experienced it is followed by an intense feeling such as fear or anger.  Physical symptoms follow like a racing heart or nausea.  The survival brain goes into high gear, virtually closing down the ‘learning brain’ sensing an emergency situation.  The behavior(s) which are enacted and relieve the intensity of the feeling is logged in the memory and become intrinsically linked to emotional survival.  They will be continually reactivated by their inter-related feeling/physical symptom states whenever the intense feeling shows up.  They can develop into persistent and often obsessive patterns that are not grounded in rational thinking or intention.  They can be described as behaviors that a person will swear never to do again and yet repeat despite attempts to resist.  These behaviors can be difficult to explain and even a mystery to the person enacting them as noted by Gerald M. Edelman in his 2003 study of neuronal consciousness.

Understanding ACEs and the extreme state should allow us to stop wasting time looking for scapegoats, endlessly searching for motives, slapping the dismissive labels of evil, loser, or bad guy on a person who has inflicted terrible damage.  It will enable our communities to own their part in violence when little has been done to prevent it.  Healing only occurs when we recognize the true nature of a problem, understand its defeating nature, and apply steps to change the way we deal with it.  Prevention is the only long term solution.

“Denial is perfectly beneficial until it’s not anymore.  Then we need to find a safe place to peel back the layers of our own pain.” ~ Gregory Boyle

Primary Prevention and Intervention Using ACEs

We have a golden opportunity to solve this most intractable school shooting problem as well as other less dramatic consequences of ACEs.  One community where systems are in place to change the dynamic is Memphis, Tennessee.  Their ACE Awareness Foundation takes a three-step approach.

1. Universal Parenting Places (UPP sites) ~ UPP sites are judgment-free zones where parents can go for help. They can talk with counselors, explore their own ACEs and learn how to alter their behaviors in their homes. Counseling is offered at no cost to the consumer. Research has shown that being able to trust another adult and “just let it out” helps people work through their experiences and take control. For some adults with a high ACE score, finding out that there may be a scientific reason their minds and bodies react in certain ways can also be liberating.
2. Parent Support Warm Line ~ At home, caregivers can call a free phone line (844-UPP-WARM) administered by Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital for guidance and support with parenting issues in real-time. It’s manned by licensed therapists who have trauma training. ACEs are more likely to occur during peak hours of parenting — late afternoon to bedtime — so the Warm Line is available for parents who need to talk through something or who just need a timeout.
3. Community Outreach ~ Healthcare providers, organizations and civic leaders attend workshops focused on creating trauma-informed citizens. The State of Tennessee has also held statewide summits and created task forces to combat the issue, creating ACE Awareness Partners.

“We envision a Memphis where everyone knows where to get the help they need. Every adult and child should be able to take control of their own destiny.” ~ Ellen Rolfes

The more we can do to prevent ACEs, the closer we will come to ending school violence, bullying, and even mass shootings.  With this in mind, I propose that every student in every school and every parent or caretaker should complete an ACEs assessment.  Those who are deemed at risk would receive immediate referral and help.  This is a full system change from intervention to prevention that won’t come easy. But we need to create a critical mass of people who understand ACEs, can speak that language and can take action.

The Work Has Already Begun

There are now 38 states and the District of Columbia who has done their own ACE surveys through the Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS) since 2009.  The BRFSS is an ongoing data collection program designed to measure behavioral risk factors for the adult population (18 years of age or older) living in households.  The original Kaiser-CDC ACE Study began in 1995 and completed in 1997, but participants were followed for 20 years. New data on the more than 17,000 participants continue to be collected.

ACEs assessments and questionnaires are being used in education, healthcare, parenting programs, and juvenile justice systems around the country.  A group called ACEs Connection describes themselves as “a social network that accelerates the global movement toward recognizing the impact of adverse childhood experiences in shaping adult behavior and health, and reforming all communities and institutions -- from schools to prisons to hospitals and churches -- to help heal and develop resilience rather than to continue to traumatize already traumatized people.”  They have organized concise methods for communities to start up local ACEs Networks.

Below you will find pdf downloadable tools from my Google Drive that can be used to determine ACEs risk for adults, children, and teens. Start by finding your own ACE score. Let’s join the effort to bring about some real, long-lasting change.

ACEs Toolbox; Questionnaires and User Guide

ACEs User Guide

Finding Your (Adult) ACE Score

ACEs Child Questionnaire

ACEs Teen Questionnaire

ACEs Teen Self Report

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration, and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

God Shows Up

"God could easily give you grain and fruit without your plowing and planting. But He does not want to do so. . . . What else is all our work to God—whether in the fields, in the garden, in the city, in the house, in war, or in government—but just such a child’s performance, by which He wants to give His gifts in the fields, at home, and everywhere else? These are the masks of God, behind which He wants to remain concealed and do all things.” ~ Martin Luther

I have been writing and thinking about masks this week.There are so many psychologists and philosophers who teach of our tendencies to hide behind them.  Carl Jung’s concepts of individuation revolve around the integration of false and true self.  Masks are the symbol of our hiding, pretending, lies and illusions. I have come to believe that there are sacred disguises…human ones, ones presented in the beauty of nature, ones revealed in stars and sky…which are the Masks of God,

Martin Luther understood that God interacts with us and shows himself in countless ways beyond our understanding.  G. K. Chesterton wrote a verse about the ‘million masks of God’.  Joseph Campbell told Bill Moyers that the images of God are many.  He called them the masks of eternity that both cover and reveal the Face of Glory. I think this is at the heart of our existence and the center of an experience of being God’s Beloved Child.God shows up.  I have seen him in the eyes of men and women in a homeless shelter in Asheville.  I have been touched by him on the waiting wall by street kids in Fort Lauderdale.  I have heard his cry in the voices of those who suffer addictive illness.

God is not a remote deity who waits grumpily on a throne of judgment to pounce on our wrongdoings and many sins. He not only shows up as a vulnerable and broken savior who willingly dies on a cross, but also beckons us to follow him there.  He shows up as ‘angels unawares’ in ancient scripture. He reaches for our steadying hand in the person of our grandchild.  When we are told that God is omnipresent, this is what they are talking about.The masks of God are everywhere.  Look around.  God show up.  He tells us, in the words of the Prodigal Father to his resentful son; “I am with you always.  Everything I have is yours.”

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Loneliness; A Clear and Present Danger of Our Times

Much has been written and broadcast about the devastating Opioid Epidemic facing us.  The most recent data and statistics report increasing tens of thousands of individuals and families have suffered enormous losses.  But we are just beginning to understand that there is an underlying cause of this terrible crisis.Extreme loneliness just might be the powerful primary feeling fueling opioid, alcohol and other drug addiction. The sweeping problem is being called “The Loneliness Contagion” because it actually seems to be contagious.  John Cacioppo, PhD from the University of Chicago believes it is spreading from person to person like a disease. Though experienced inordinately among millennials, it is increasing across the generations.

Where Is This Loneliness Coming From?

Dr. Shannon Monnat says that we live in an era of individualism, disinvestment in social safety nets, declines in social cohesion, and increased loneliness.  Could it be that this is coming from a new kind of isolation due to social media?Isolation due to lots of time spent on social media sites while glued to cellphones is one of the reasons for decreasing real life interactions and what is being called Fear of Missing Out (FOMO).  Though there are multiple chatting contacts, swapping of photos and other kinds of interaction, people are feeling lonelier than ever.  This is strikingly similar to the social isolation commonly known as an experience affecting the elderly due to decreased mobility and loss of friends and partners. Despite the fact that younger people have massive quantities of friends online, this increasing loneliness stems from a decreasing quality of relationships.  In other words, a person may have a lot of friends but still find that their needs for social contact are not met.I remember playing a mean trick on a rather needy friend in college.  She couldn’t stand missing out on our group adventures.  One day we posted a sign outside of her dorm room saying; “We are out having fun without you.” All of us hid behind her door waiting for her arrival.  We heard her shuffling down the hall.  She stopped, read the note and brokenheartedly sighed. “Oh, No!”  Even though we burst through the door merrily giggling, she had a really hard time recovering from our prank. I’m not sure she ever really forgave us.

We have a fundamental need to belong.  This is what gives life meaning.  In order to feel a sense of belonging there must be the presence of real (skin-to-skin as opposed to virtual) relationships.  They must be based on mutual caring responses in which we feel loved and valued.  It is also necessary to have frequent interactions with other people.  Loneliness diminishes or disappears when we feel like we matter.One of my most profound memories of loneliness is of a time shortly after divorce.  I had moved back to Fort Lauderdale in hopes of re-centering my life.  A friend helped me find good digs in a little house to rent and a job to keep me busy.  For the first time in several weeks there seemed to be a light in the darkness.  I pulled into the driveway after a rather successful day at work, opened the door and shouted “I’m Home!” as was my custom when living with my ex-wife and kids.  Only emptiness replied.  I was alone…really alone…and the feeling of loneliness overwhelmed me.  My response was to pour myself into a bottle of bourbon.  And I kept pouring for a long time.

The Extreme State; Loneliness and Repetitious Behavior

“I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.and it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self,and the wounds to the soul take a long, long time,only time can help and patience, and a certain difficult repentancelong difficult repentance, a realization of life’s mistake,and the freeing oneself from the endless repetition of the mistake which mankind at large has chosen to sanctify.” ~ D.H. Lawrence

Dr. Corinne Gerwe, PhD has done extensive research on what she calls the Extreme State.  Her research shows that loneliness can be a predominant feeling which is responsible for igniting addiction and chronic relapse.Her book, The Orchestration of Joy and Suffering: Understanding Chronic Addiction (Algora Publishing 2001), explores the relationship between childhood experiences resulting in extreme feelings and subsequent behaviors that relieve or diminish the intensity of the feelings.  She demonstrates that the behavior patterns, including addiction can persist throughout a lifetime.  She also outlines unique treatment methods.I worked with Dr. Gerwe for several years.  We found that when loneliness is experienced in the extreme (or for long durations) that the brain begins to search for relief found in behaviors.  Neuronal pathways provide quick solutions to resolve or lessen the intensity of the feeling.  Even behaviors which have proven to be destructive such as drug and alcohol abuse are repeated and repeated (as D. H. Lawrence explains in his poem).It is a cycle that feeds on itself.  For example, one set of behaviors that results from loneliness is isolating oneself.  It would seem counterintuitive yet is one of the most common responses.  As a person withdraws from the world, isolates and avoids, they become even lonelier and more likely to use opioids and other drugs/alcohol.  Is it any wonder that powerful opioids, which practically eliminate physical/emotional pain and suffering are being used to combat chronic loneliness?  Is it any wonder why that might be contagious?

Health Issues Result from Loneliness

Loneliness is killing us…and not only through an opioid epidemic. It has been reported by Richard Lang, MD of Cleveland Clinic that loneliness affects 60 million Americans and that chronic loneliness poses a serious health risk. New research suggests that loneliness and social isolation are as much a threat to your health as obesity and smoking cigarettes. It can impair cognitive performance, compromise the immune system, and increase the risk for vascular, inflammatory, and heart disease.  A recent study also indicates that loneliness makes people more likely to develop Type 2 diabetes.Loneliness is one of the feelings most associated with suicide.  Being socially isolated from society can take a toll on mental health and lead a person to become depressed and consider suicide. Socializing and interacting with other people is a basic human need. If social needs are not met, a person can start to feel lonely which leads to depression and possibly suicidal thoughts.Finally, studies show that loneliness increases the risk for early death by 45 percent and the chance of developing dementia in later life by 64 percent. On the other hand, people who have strong ties to family and friends are as much as 50 percent less at risk of dying over any given period of time than those with fewer social connections.There seems to be no doubt that loneliness is an epidemic, a contagion and one of the most serious health risks facing us today.  So, what can we do as Chaplains, pastors, social workers, healthcare providers, friends and family to help turn the tide?

How Relationships Defeat Loneliness“Keep in mind that to avoid loneliness, many people need both a social circle and an intimate attachment. Having just one of two may still leave you feeling lonely.” ~ Gretchen Rubin

There are two basic remedies for loneliness:

1. We must have and develop strong skin-to-skin relationships. It’s not about the number of ‘friends’ we have on FaceBook. We can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. There is undeniable benefit to real time interaction, play, work and social gatherings with people we care about.

2. We need to belong. Our special communities such as religious organizations, 12 Step Groups, hobby circles, fraternal societies and other intimate gatherings are like a transfusion for loneliness. This is not about activities. We can go from event to event or meeting to meeting and still be lonely. A sense of belonging, really being an integral part of something, is what’s critical.

I counseled a young man who was suffering from intense loneliness.  He had just started his freshman year at a local college and had changed from a happy, confident, outgoing high schooler to an isolated, self-conscious, anxiety ridden guy.  All of his friends had gone away to other schools and he was the only one left behind.  There were no more service clubs or sports teams in his life.  His studies were going nowhere.  Jeff was considering suicide.  It was not that he was alone.  He had a roommate, lived in a busy dorm, had joined an intermural football squad and was attending church on campus. He was a busy as he could be. But there were no real quality personal or community relationships.  He might as well have been a hermit for the overwhelming loneliness he was experiencing.Jeff’s situation is not uncommon. Senior citizens who retire from their life’s work know well what he was going through. Folks who relocate to another part of the country for great work opportunities understand it. Suddenly, what I call a ‘peopled life’ becomes vacant. The answer cannot be found by busying oneself.  For Jeff, and all the lonely people, the solution lies in connecting and creating personal relationships through belonging to meaningful community.  A feeling of being understood and valued creates a closeness that is being craved in loneliness.This closeness doesn’t have to be something that happens randomly or by accident.  For Jeff, we connected with a religious fraternal campus organization.  He joined and was embraced by the members.  He had a new family of friends.  He also began attending AA meetings at a nearby community center.  There he found other people who were struggling just like him.  The members met for coffee and had frequent social events.  His loneliness faded into oblivion.  It was as simple as that.  Community is within our control to create.This contagion or epidemic of loneliness can practically be eliminated. Parents can be alert to the fact that filling our kids’ lives with activities is not always the answer.  Quality play time with a friend or friends (yes...unsupervised by adults) is what is needed.  Chaplains can spot the isolated LEO and help direct him or her to the right organizations.  It might be a great idea to establish support groups right in the workplace as well. We have the power to help others find the way out of loneliness…and we all have the power to stop feeling lonely. That power is found in real relationships.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

A Choice For Happiness

[et_pb_section bb_built="1"][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type="4_4"][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.2"]The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet.” ~ James OppenheimWe have choices to make.  They lie before us waiting for fulfillment.  Each of us has the ability to be happy and set out to make happiness happen.Despite the problems and woes that have littered life…despite the things that are looming in the distance…we can still make the decision to be happy and to create happiness around us.  There is no magic formula.  It is just about deciding to accept the people, places and things surrounding us as being just the way they are.  We can complain and whine over our circumstances or celebrate the fact that we survived despite (or because) of them.  Happiness is an inside job and the choice to recognize that truth is ours to make.I hear people grumble so often that someone has made them unhappy.  Something happened years ago which ruined their lives.  Losses and tragedies have made it impossible to allow for real happiness.  There is not enough money.  There is nobody to love.  There is no fun at work.On and on we look for happiness outside of ourselves only to be disappointed when it is fleeting.  Only the false self or ego drives us to find happiness anywhere but within our own hearts.  We are immersed in the real happiness for which we were created.  We have the freedom to choose to allow God to be God and accept the contents of the moment as a reason to celebrate being alive.Make the decision now.  Be happy.  Work for happiness in all you do and say.  You might be surprised as it abundantly rains down and all around as a result.[/et_pb_text][et_pb_team_member admin_label="Robert Kenneth Jones" name="Robert Kenneth Jones" position="Columnist" image_url="https://chaplainusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/robert.jpg" facebook_url="https://www.facebook.com/KenJonesBoy" linkedin_url="https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-kenneth-jones-8861183/" _builder_version="3.0.101" saved_tabs="all" animation="off" background_layout="light" global_module="26968"]Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast[/et_pb_team_member][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]