the next right thing

Heal, Help, And Comfort; Just Do The Next Right Thing

I wonder what we have learned and how we are changing as the pandemic morphs into the next phase.

The toll taken and then demonstrated on charts seems to indicate that maybe we are bending the curve as they say. Many of us have become restless and still more have lives turned upside down. So now what? Some people are wearing masks and some will not. Some are maintaining social distance while others flock together. Some are sheltering in place and many are going about as if nothing is wrong. We cannot afford a Pollyanna attitude at this phase of recovery. There are still problems facing us and they require a grassroots effort if we want to come out of this tragedy for-the-better. Federal, State, and Local Government can only do so much. The bulk of the responsibility lies with each of us.

There are three things all of us can do...Heal, Help, and Comfort. It’s possible for us just do the next right thing...and then the next...and so on.

  • Heal; Before we can do anything to be useful to others, it is urgently necessary to make sure we are healthy. Taking of body temperature frequently, getting tested if there any suspicious symptoms, and maintaining good daily wellness routines are best practices. Just like they tell us on airplanes about emergency oxygen masks; take care of yourself first. But sadly, people are letting go of personal safety habits developed during the shelter in place time. As those businesses and leisure venues begin to reopen there are too many folks no longer taking safety measures seriously…throwing good common sense to the wind. We cannot afford to stop trying to mitigate the spread of this disease because it's just not over yet. We depend on each other to protect our wellbeing through personal responsibility and kindness.

  • Help; The hand we extend to others might be the only one offered today. Economic fallout over the past three months has been calamitous, especially for those on the margins. Millions are going hungry every day as demonstrated by endless lines at food pickup points. When a problem is as considerable as this one, it's hard to know what to do. Calling up an elderly neighbor to see what things are needed is a good start. If your own resources are low, the call to check in can be every bit as helpful. Donate to local food banks. All we have to do is think creatively, roll up our sleeves, and reach out.

  • Comfort; Compassion has no price tag. People are suffering significant losses and need to hear words of oneness and solidarity. Perhaps the only thing harder is the loneliness than goes along with it. The National Institute of Mental Health is warning that nearly half of Americans report the coronavirus crisis is harming their mental health. Experts worry that just as hospitals were unprepared for a tsunami of patients, just as vulnerable is the underfunded mental health system. Historic numbers of those experiencing depression, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder and suicide are already beginning to overload resources. The words we speak, cards sent, and support given can make all the difference when someone is feeling the dark emptiness of grief.

"Maybe I have been living much too fast, too feverishly, forgetting to pay attention to what is happening here and now, right under my nose." ~ Henri Nouwen

The 2019-2020 pandemic reminds me that a simple formula for navigating daily life is "just do the next right thing.” My rather extensive psychological training left me feeling that human beings were very complicated. Of course, we are to one degree or another. But, steeped in a mire of my own trials and entanglements, I lost track of how to manage my own affairs. The damage inflicted on myself and my loved ones was extensive. Wreckage of disastrous proportions was strewn everywhere. Luckily, I got the help I needed before all was lost. During a mental health/spiritual retreat of 2000 I found several mentors to lead me back into the light, but one stands out for his simple directions. I found myself sitting in front of his desk feeling more like a 12 year old boy than a 49 year old man. My words spilled out for several minutes as he listened patiently. The barbs and foibles, miscues and mistakes, lies and disguises were all summed up in a blubbering mass of my emotion. His response was heartfelt and brief. He said “Forgive yourself. Just go out and do the next right thing” That was it. No lecture, no judgment, no pontificating over my dilemma. Nothing has really been the same ever since.

So there it is. Just go out and do the next right thing. Heal, help and comfort. Shower the people with love. That's not so hard, is it?


The Courage to Speak Up

Opportunities to be courageous present themselves every day.  These challenges often come with a little dose of fear.  This is not the significant fear faced on the battlefield, but that gnawing emotion which stops us from doing the right thing.  

Courage presents its opportunity to stand tall when we hear mean comments, character assassinations, racial slurs and demeaning jokes.  It shows up in conversations and in casual encounters.  The little doses of fear stem from our need to be liked, admired, appreciated and loved.  It takes real courage to deal with the possibility of rejection.  Sometimes we cave in and sacrifice beliefs we hold sacred but more often than not we just choose to keep our mouths shut.

“Courage has to do with our determination to be great. It has to do with what we decide in that moment when we are called upon to be more.”

Rita Dove

The decision to be silent is not much different than siding with a perpetrator.  We are witness to the effects of silence as victims of abuse come forward to tell their story.  So many people say nothing, even when facts are presented which are unimpeachable. 

The physical and emotional trauma borne by the wounded-one are magnified by all of the responsible people who somehow justify ‘not getting involved’.  We all have chances to be brave.  We can choose to face our fears by saying what should be said and rising up for those who are being injured.  In so doing, someone might stand with us when the tables are turned.

Today I will be courageous in my defense of those who are being injured and victimized.


Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

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Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast