don't hate

Simple Advice for Coping with Adversity.

You don't have to look around much to find a hefty supply of adversity nowadays.

But it’s how we meet and overcome it that makes all the difference. The best formula I know of has been passed down for generations in my family. Roy Jones was a lifelong educator whose message to his many descendants about living a balanced and happy life was this; "Don't Worry. Don't Hurry. Don't Hate.”

“Don’t Worry. Don’t Hurry. Don’t Hate.”

There were plenty of hard times, economic depressions, two world wars, and deaths of children that Roy experienced over his long life. It certainly wasn't a cakewalk. This is one of the defining examples of Grandpa’s ability to rise above adversity, My cousin, Ed related a tragic story to us at a recent family gathering.  Ed was only 19 when he found Uncle Paul’s body in his bedroom.  A gun in his hand, our dear uncle had taken his own life. Ed ran to the home of our family doctor who came to the house and pronounced him dead.  Dr. Green said that he would go with Ed to tell our grandfather of the horrible incident.  Grandpa Jones, over 80 years of age, met them at the door and received the bad news.  His tearful response was this; “How could Paul do that? Life is wonderful.”  In the moment of greatest suffering Grandpa could only claim the marvel of God’s generosity and the bounty of a life lived with gratitude. There was simply no value in worry, hurry, or hate.

Though we face some difficult situations right now, I can assure you they won’t hang around forever. Gloom and doom projections will have dissipated like fog on the ocean sunrise. An old friend of mine once said; "Things come to pass, not to stay." He is right of course. The trick of coming out better on the other side is to make a conscious decision every day. Don't Worry. Don't Hurry. Don't Hate. You might be surprised at how well things turn out after all.


For more information about Stress Management: Doing What Matters in Times of Stress: An Illustrated Guide is a stress management guide for coping with adversity.




God’s Dream Come True

Verna J. Dozier was a leading African American theologian and prophet who touched countless lives and transformed hearts. Her work and service were prolific.  As a teacher and Board Member of Examining Chaplains, she often spoke and wrote about the dream of God.

She believed that we have the capacity to bring forth the realization of Howard Thurman’s vision of ‘a friendly world of friendly folk beneath a friendly sky’.  She believed that God wants all creation to live together in peace, harmony, and fulfillment.  She believed that we are called to restore that dream together. I believe she was right.  In truth, how could it be otherwise?

The wounds and struggles of the past have the power to separate and destroy us.  But they also have the power to move us forward to new life, a new identity, and universal oneness.

Our suffering is what we all have in common.  It's not single-mindedness and strength that will overcome, but acceptance and shared vulnerability.  The Dream of God is attainable if we are willing to let go of our chokehold on yesterday by engaging in healing here and now.  We can start by loving where we once hated.

I think this is about the best starting point for building up the Dream of God;  A boy named Camden asked New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady at a press Q&A in Atlanta what we should do about haters.  “What do we do about the haters? We love ‘em,” said Brady. “We love them back because we don’t hate back.”  There it is…a glimmer of a friendly world of friendly folk beneath a friendly sky.