Oneing; Our Undeniable Kinship

There is so much talk about how divided, tribal, isolated and separate we are becoming.  At a time when science, technology and authentic religion point to our obvious interconnected oneness, voices cry out that there must be some kind of mistake. But there is no mistake. We are all cut from the same cloth.  We are kin, woven together with everything and everybody.

The problem with accepting the truth of our undeniable kinship is that it is always followed by a sense of civil responsibility.  It is far easier to go with the lie of separateness.  When we recognize brothers and sisters in one another, there comes a call to compassionate action restorative justice, and mercy. It no longer makes sense to hate, to seek retribution or to find a scapegoat.  Good families work together to find solutions for differences because our relationships have a firm foundation of love.

"We carry the whole world in our hearts, the oppression of all people, the suffering of our friends, the burdens of our enemies, the raping of the earth, the hunger of the starving, the joyous expectation every laughing child has a right to." ~ Sister Joan Chittister

It wasn't until I discovered the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) that the full realization of my oneness with the struggles of others really hit me. Although my lifework had been working with children who suffered unimaginable abuse, none of my counsel seemed to apply to me or connected to my own woundedness. Forced by the consequences of drowning my sorrows in booze, I stumbled into AA. It was a remarkable experience. Men and women freely and intimately joined in a common oneness surrounding their most devastating tragedies. They forged an alliance and healing community. I left with a sense that everyone on the planet should join AA whether they ever had a drinking problem or not. The result for me was that I became a better counselor and a better human being.

This acceptance and acting out of our undeniable kinship is often referred to as "oneing", a term first used by Julian of Norwich in the fifteenth century. Bill Wilson and AA figured it out in the 1940s. Once pursued, nothing short of it will ever satisfy you again. When fully embraced it will change your life and it will change the world.

Finding the Middle Way

“I swear I will not dishonor my soul with hatred, but offer myself humbly as a guardian of nature, as a healer of misery, as a messenger of wonder, as an architect of peace.”

Diane Ackerman

Diane Ackerman offers some healing words to consideron this day after mid-term elections.  Emotionsran high when we were fighting for candidates who carry our banner andrepresent out principles and ideals. Record numbers of us turned out to vote. Some of us are happy with the results and some of us aredisappointed.  What we do next to moveforward is very important.

Fighting the good fight is an American tradition.  There is a great story in the History of Knox County, Ohio in which my ancestor, James Houck accused one of his young neighbors of stealing a ‘scrap of bees’ at the fall social gathering where apples were being prepared for drying (called an apple-bee).

The pioneer custom was to either ‘take it back or take a licking’. Though a fist fight occurred, there was no resolution.  The next gathering would be on Election Day 1808 where all community scores could be settled.  There was an abundance of whisky and plenty of fights.  But at the end of the day, differences and quarrels were to be finalized.  I’m not suggesting a return to this kind of dispute settlement. What I am endorsing is that we put aside the partisan divisions and work together again. 

Pioneer Schoolboys Settle a Score

The extremes of right and left can do exactly what we did under our 34th president, Dwight D. Eisenhower who called his administration “The Middle Way”.  We need our leaders to help turn us in that direction forgetting resentments and a desire for revenge.  Eisenhower accomplished much by being able to talk to, and work with, both sides on every issue. For a nation now mired in conflict, his model of getting things done by taking the middle way could provide a welcome alternative.  In the meantime it is up to all of us to strive for civil discourse and to find common ground. That is as American as Apple Pie.

A Time to Kneel

“A desire to kneel down sometimes pulses through my body, or rather it is as if my body has been meant and made for the act of kneeling.  Sometimes, in moments of deep gratitude, kneeling down becomes an overwhelming urge, head deeply bowed, my hands before my face.” ~ Etty Hillesum

Etty Hillesum 1939

There was a deep peace in the heart of Etty Hillesum.  She wrote extensively about her love for fellow human beings while being persecuted and awaiting the certain fate of deportation from her home in Amsterdam during World War II.  She was one of 1.1 million who died at Auschwitz concentration camp but her faith in God and people live on in the many letters and diaries she left behind. The thought that kneeling was Etty’s demonstration of awe is one that should inspire us today.

I wonder what it might be like if we all knelt a little bit more and stood tall a bit less.  The thought of making ourselves vulnerable in the kneeling position is a foreign one to us.  But the image of getting on both knees to help a child or to pray at night is universally embraced. The reverence and wonder demonstrated by such an act can only be matched by how defenseless we become in this position.  It is time for more kneeling.  It is time for becoming so open to God and each other that we are once again willing to find the common ground necessary for a cessation of all the misunderstandings and animosity which are destroying us.

Make the World Come Alive

“There must be always remaining in every life, some place for the singing of angels, some place for that which in itself is breathlessly beautiful.” ~ Howard Thurman

Howard Thurman was the grandson of a plantation slave in Madison County, Florida.  Profoundly influenced by his grandmother, he made it his life’s mission to teach about the inseparable connection each of us has with God. He found reasons to seek out more than common-ground; rather, he revealed the incredible beauty which is the essence of everyone.  This truth is elusive nowadays.  We seem to be fixated on finding differences and darknesses in those who are different.  Such divisions lead us to picking sides, creating misunderstandings, fostering hatred, and being violent.

There is a weariness that hangs heavy over us.  Tired of the mean language, name-calling, character assassination and loss of civility, we long for relief from it all.  The only force which will restore Thurman’s vision of beauty is the effort that you are willing to give and the vitriol you are willing to abandon. God is present by our side, ahead, behind, above, below and inside. Take a good look. And then listen to the angels sing.