What Am I Supposed to Do?

As tensions rise, knowing what to do does not come with easy answers for most of us.

We have been faced with a seemingly relentless pandemic and a reawakening to the reality of discrimination, violence, mistrust, and hatred with the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis. Parts of our great cities have been burned and looted as cries for social justice are compromised by lawlessness. Alongside all of this, the fragile mitigation of COVID-19 is threatened as people flock together without regard to social distancing or wearing of masks. What are we to do?

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke

We have a Zoom gathering of old friends every Sunday where glasses of wine toast another week survived. None of the six of us are exactly Spring Chickens. Let's just say we have been around long enough to be called elders. None of this "senior" business for us. We're just Baby Boomers with wrinkles and lots of experiences. All six served as professionals in fields providing direct service to those who suffer. And each has been active in spiritual/religious life.

We have shaken things up from time to time. So, when the question arose last Sunday, there was a moment of silence and hesitation. "What am I supposed to do?" In the face of these most recent crises, when confronted with hate-filled, conspiracy theory laden, fear and anger, "What am I supposed to say?" Though we batted the questions around and processed our feelings and worries , no answer was ever offered. And, I suppose, that’s because there isn’t any single response that fits all situations. Maybe the questions are more important than any answers.

Questions lead us away from the raging storm into a place of consideration and contemplation. We breathe for a moment and think before doing anything. Just think. Any of us can choose to fan the flames of violence with what we say and do...or, by our silence, can implicitly give permission to hate. But, we can also chose to use our words and actions to object with respect, stand nonviolently in solidarity, and offer healing by intently listening and finding common ground.

Nobody is untouched or undisturbed over the turbulent happenings of 2020. It seems like one thing after another keeps trying to pile on as we rush headlong into disaster. Governmental leaders are trying to do their best, but the results haven't been so good. But one calm, positive, compassionate voice will make an incredible difference. One leader, followed by a choir of others can right our ship and help us find our way. Senator Robert Kennedy gave that kind of speech in 1968 Indianapolis after the murder of Dr. Martin Luther King. It didn't magically bind up all of our wounds, but rather gave us direction and reminded us of who we were. It reset the tone. I've listened to it several times lately, and offer its timely words for all of our readers today. There is a way back to sanity. We have all the right stuff to rise above the suffering. A new age of social justice and an awakening to better understanding one another is at hand. Be that one voice to make it happen.

The Incredible Gift

Here it is. The gift of another moment, another hour, another day. It’s ours to have. Full of mystery and possibilities, we can share it or keep it to ourselves. We can savor it, gobble it up, or throw it away. We can thank and acknowledge God or pretend God is absent and has nothing to do with it. We can open it or not. No matter what, the gift is right in front of us to do with as we choose.

There is so much happening that we often find ourselves disconnected from each other, from ourselves and from God. Henri Nouwen says that the crisis of our time is to say that 'most of us have an address but cannot be found there'. The gifts are left at the doorstep but nobody comes to claim them. They vanish, one after another, as if stolen by thieves in the night. Lost forever.

I often think about how poignant and tragic this refusal to open the gift can be. Robert Frost wrote a verse that speaks to the loss in his "Nothing Gold Can Stay" poem so well acted out in a scene from "The Outsiders" a Francis Ford Coppola classic in 1983.

Nature’s first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf’s a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

Our wholesale failure to open that gift is obvious. We are so fragile, yet often live recklessly and plunge headlong into an abyss. This is evidenced by ever-increasing numbers of people succumbing to the opioid epidemic and shocking statistics from CDC telling us that suicide rates for ten to fourteen-year-old children tripled from 2007-2017 or the fact that police officers are at greater risk for suicide than any other profession. Hate crimes have hit a sixteen year high. And we have reached a societal and political crescendo in which expediency and lies seem to be accepted without outrage as the new normal.

There is plenty that can be done to restore the world to sanity. We can put a stop to the idea that one group has dominion over another. We can put an end to bullying and scapegoating. We can look beneath the surface of objectionable behaviors and try to understand the trauma that might be causing it. We can focus much more of our energies and resources on prevention rather than figuratively and literally putting out fires. But before any measures will work, we must develop a new understanding of our most precious gift.

Here is what must be understood in order to stem the tide of anger, sadness, and loneliness which seems to be overtaking us.

• We are not as fragile as we imagine. Any sense of hopelessness is an illusion. Richard Rohr calls this understanding a radical okayness.

• A Power Greater than ourselves is in charge. We are never alone. God is always at our side.

• In the end, only love remains. It endures when everything else fades away.

• Grasp and celebrate the moment here and now as if it was the only one that will ever be. That is reality.

I am a gift.

All that I am is something that’s given,

and given freely.

Being doesn’t cost anything.

There's no price tag, no strings attached.

~ Thomas Merton

Merton says it well. The most important thing of all is to accept and embrace the incredible and undeniable fact that you are the gift itself. When that truth sinks in, nothing will happen which can separate you from the miracle of life, the endlessness of hope, and the Wonder of God.