Getting Bored and Feeling Lonely; Why It's Time To Share A Story

Our sheltering at home, hunkering down, and battening down the hatches drags on with only a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

We watch updated news with somber infection and mortality numbers, hoping that the tunnel light is not a train barreling down on us. We have discovered different ways to amuse ourselves and formed some new good (and maybe not so good) habits. Even so, boredom with games, cable movies, and other diversions are beginning to come up a little short. Lonely for physical contact with family and friends, a dull ache seems to be as viral as COVID-19. If this rings true, you are certainly not alone. I suggest that this is a perfect time to write down and share your own story.

Every Spring presents an opportunity to plant seeds and watch as miracles of our gardening rise from the soil. There is no exception during these turbulent and often rancorous days. This extra time we’ve been given though, can present us with endless fallow fields to sow another kind of seed. The story of your life is one of the most precious and powerful gifts you can leave behind. It makes a difference as surely as the bounty of crops harvested in the fall.

There are several ways to tell your story. The old fashioned way would be to offer it verbally to children and grandchildren. It can be written down and put in a safe place. But nowadays, there are so many platforms and ways to pass it along. Joining a genealogy group and adding it to the family tree will create a digital resource that should be available forever.

FamilySearch.com is free and Ancestry.com has a small price. There are several others. StoryCorps.org will record your story or you can upload it to their site. Then it will be stored in The Library of Congress. ChaplainUSA.org has a project available to Police Chaplains for video capture as do some other organizations. You could also create a Blog or Vlog and create your own. I know this sounds like a big project, but what better time than now to get it accomplished?

We will fight this particular contagion by the disciplined labor of love...maybe in small ways, but add them up and they make a profound difference. ~ The Most Rev. Michael Curry, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church

Creating and saving your story may be one of those little things and labors of love related by Michael Curry. Just imagine how it might feel for you to find a box in the attic that contains old picture albums and letters. Among the treasures is a weathered binder and in it the handwritten life story of a great grandfather you never met.

Years and years ago, he sat at lantern light, toiling after long hard days to leave his memories so that they might become yours. What a gift to receive. Suddenly you are more deeply connected to your roots and have a better sense of who you are than ever before.

It has taken lots of research, recalling memories, and pasting together old county histories to recreate such family life stories for my descendants. Now it's time to write my own. How about joining me? Getting started is the hard part. Basic elements might be to tell where you were born, what your folks and friends were like, how you did in school, the games you played, your first job, marriage, deaths of loved ones, and other life events. These all contain ripe tales. But beyond facts, the narrative created can be even richer. Show your true colors. Think about challenges that came along threatening your happiness and way of life. What lessons came from obstacles along the way?

“Where you stumble is where your treasure lies.”

— Joseph Campbell

I try to remember the wisdom of Joseph Campbell who tells us that “Where you stumble is where your treasure lies.” With that in mind, we might as well get busy. Don’t put it off. Because down the road from now, someone will be thrilled and blessed by a priceless gift of love and seeds we planted…once upon a time…during tough months of 2020.

Planting Happiness Where You Are

It’s been my experience that most of us spend a great deal of time, energy, and resources looking for ways to be or to get happy.

What must be realized is that happiness, first and foremost, is an inside job. The joys and miracles visited on the outside can never be fully appreciated until we are at peace with ourselves right where we are. This requires some gardening. The grief, pain, rejection, and sadnesses of the past are buried deep. They require attention to detail, hand cultivation, and tilling. Otherwise, each will keep coming back as a weed among the wheat with power to multiply like horsetail or thistle causing resentment or bitterness. Once eradicated, our seedbed is ready for planting and new life.

When I worked as the clinical director at a residential treatment center in Brevard, North Carolina, we designed our logo symbol as an acorn containing a mature oak tree inside. Our message was that each and every one of us contains all the necessary ingredients for a full life. Once planted in rich soil, only germination is required.

Martin Luther, who started the Protestant Reformation, was a Catholic Monk with just such a gardening mission. He wrote; "Even if I knew the world would end tomorrow, I would plant an apple tree today.” This is the promise not only of new growth, but of fulfillment, love, and happiness.

“The wind, one brilliant day,
called to my soul with an odor of jasmine.
”In return for the odor of my jasmine,
I’d like all the odor of your roses.”
”I have no roses;
all the flowers in my garden are dead.”
”Well then, I’ll take the withered petals
and the yellow leaves and the waters of the fountain.”
the wind left. And I wept. And I said to myself:
”What have you done
with the garden that was entrusted to you?”

by Antonio Machado
Translated by Robert Bly”

There are plenty of external struggles and bright shiny objects that divert us from the work that must be done. We live in times where the next best things, bigger, better, and more prestigious are promoted as keys to contentment. Power, control and greed fight to choke out the seeds we plant. They tell us that only by working harder and longer can happiness be obtained. In reality, their harvest is mostly despair and emptiness.

Interior gardening surrenders to a power greater than ego. It finds a way to YES. Suddenly we will realize that the world and all of life is a miracle growing out of God's love. We will be able to contribute, live and breathe without wanting anything in return. The jobs we perform, family, friends, and community we celebrate will all truly bear the fruits of God’s Spirit. We won't always get to witness the outcome or bounty of our gardening and planting, but harvests will continue for generations.

This will be our legacy.