Prejudice and Transformation; The Experiential Roots of Bias and Spiritual Awakenings
We are frightened of change, and, I suspect, we are even more frightened of our own hearts
I am writing this column from Memphis as the fiftieth anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s assassination has come and gone. My visit to The Lorraine Motel and Mason Temple on April 4 was such a moving experience. It led me to re-think prejudice, racism, and all that separates us from one another. Creating a curated column with this in mind is a challenge. There is so much information online. Sorting through it is mind-boggling and formidable. I have gained much in this research. You might say I have a new pair of glasses.
Despite progress made in narrowing the gap between the privileged and marginalized, it remains wide. Discrimination based on race, sex, age, religion, national origin and sexual orientation exists as surely today as ever. We see it or hear about it daily. In Memphis, the CEO of United Way reported on February 27, 2018 that “the median income of African Americans is still 50 percent that of whites, despite our increased high school graduation and college degree rates and when it is consistent across other socioeconomic indices, we're still stuck."
We are still stuck indeed. Each of us is biased and possesses some degree of prejudice. My own roots of prejudice and discovery of redemption might be of some help to others. While I don’t think it would be useful to re-disclose the mounds of data, there is some good current information in this column’s hyperlinks. The most important thing to gain from this is that anyone can change. I have found that such conversion is unlikely unless there is a spiritual awakening from self-examination and soul searching. As the AA people put it in the second step of their program of recovery; “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
Jean Vanier, a philosopher, writer, religious and moral leader and the founder of two major international community-based organizations, L'Arche, and Faith & Light, that exist for people with intellectual disabilities, teaches that fear is the basis of prejudice. He asserts that “We are all frightened of those who are different, those who challenge our authority, our certitudes, and our value system. We are all so frightened of losing what is important for us, the things that give us life, security, and status in society. We are frightened of change, and, I suspect, we are even more frightened of our own hearts.”
Self-Examination and Childhood Experience Reveal Roots of Bias
Examining ones heart is not easy work. I never wanted to think there was a prejudiced bone in my body. I was raised in Danville, Illinois, not in the Deep South where racism seemed so glaringly blatant. I just couldn’t have experienced such intolerance growing up in my comfortable Midwestern town. But, upon deeper reflection and introspection, it seems that early childhood experiences hidden within implicit messages from adults shaped my opinions and attitudes more than I had imagined. I also discovered that Danville has a past that brought it some well-deserved shame. There was a horribly brutal mob lynching in 1903 which made headlines around the country. No place is immune from the fears which fuel hatred and violence.
My earliest memories of African-American people surround several women and men who served as caterers for my parents’ elegant dinner parties. When I asked my mother why they were all black, she responded that the family had ‘colored’ servants for generations. Her ancestors had freed their slaves in Kentucky when they decided to migrate to Illinois in 1829. One of them, a pregnant girl named Polly, followed on foot behind their covered wagons into the Free State. She was not allowed to cross the border in the wagon due to federal law. Aunt Pol, as she came to be known, and her family acted as our servants and nannies for years to come.In fact, her grandson, Frank Neal and his wife, Florence were among the caterers I knew and loved. So my first impression was that African Americans were our family members. It also bothered me, even as a little boy, that we had once been owners of slaves. I decided to pay attention to family members and other trusted adults as they talked about and interacted with black people. My observations were puzzling. It was forbidden to use the “N-word” in our home but when my mother gave Florence Neal a ride home from a party she told me she was taking her to nigger town.When we saw black children with their parents she referred to them as ‘pickaninnys’. Mom wasn’t the only one who gave me mixed messages. But hers were the words that stuck with me. In my mind, there was clearly a disparity between what the adults said they believed and how they behaved.
Media helped to shape my attitudes and those of most kids. There was no internet, but there were other means that guided our thinking just as much Face Book does today. Children’s books like “Little Black Sambo” which portrayed the character as a stereotyped ‘pickaninny’, was quite hurtful to black children “The Bobbsey Twins In the Land of Cotton” portrayed cotton picking laborers in this way;Negroes, both men and women, were gaily dressed in bright-colored shirts, or sunbonnets and aprons. Most of them were singing. “They must like their work,” said Nan. “They seem so happy.” “Cotton picking is healthful exercise.” Replied the plantation owner.Several recording artists like Al Jolson who wore blackface and sang as minstrels depicted a negative stereotype of African Americans. Ralph David Abernathy talked about those stereotypes as black people “scratching where they didn't itch, and laughing when they were not tickled.” Amos ‘n’ Andy was hugely popular radio show whose characters were voiced by two white men portraying black men. Later, a television show of the same name appeared with ‘colored’ actors. Bishop W. J. Walls of the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church wrote an article sharply denouncing Amos 'n' Andy, singling out the lower-class characterizations and the "crude, repetitious and moronic" dialogue. These were only a few of my boyhood influences.I discovered early on that people loved the way I mimicked and imitated voices. It wasn’t long before my jokes turned on black people, polish people and others who were easy and, I found, socially acceptable targets. My popularity among friends and family grew dramatically as I acted out my characterizations. It all seemed harmless enough. Little did I suspect that my antics were affecting people in lasting ways. I was a privileged white boy who was leveraging my position at the expense of those who were suffering injustice and discrimination. I could feel this in my stomach, but the approval and laughter I created only increased the frequency of my bad behavior.
The origins of prejudice can almost always be traced to childhood experiences and to beliefs taught by parents and other adults. Between the ages of 3 and 6, kids begin to understand prejudice and to apply stereotypes. We are not prejudiced because we are evil but because we are human and it is easy to fall into it. The infrastructure of prejudice is not moral depravity, but our regular thinking mechanism that just went wrong.
How Pivotal Events Shake the Foundations of Prejudice
It has taken a series of ah-ha moments, tragic events, studies, workshops and close work with marginalized people to create my conversion and transformation process which continues to this day. The first such experience happened in 1958 when I was seven years old. My parents spent winters with my grandparents in South Florida near Pompano Beach. I loved going there and considered it my second home. On this trip there was a special treat. The State of Florida had just opened the Sunshine State Parkway. It was a divided tollway and you could cruise along at speeds and ‘make time’ unheard of on the two lane roads from Danville to Pompano. To top it all off, there were full service rest areas with free orange juice and a restaurant. We stopped at the first one we saw. The booths at the restaurant each had a little juke box and you could pick songs you liked for a nickel. We were all quite impressed.I will never forget what happened next. I had to go to the bathroom and my folks decided I was old enough to go on my own. I confidently strode to the facilities only to be met by signs that baffled me. The restrooms were marked for use by race. They were labeled as White Men, Colored Men, White Women and Colored Women. Water fountains were also separate. What was I supposed to do? I pondered for a minute and chose the colored bathroom thinking that the people in there had to be interesting (purple, red, orange?). I went inside and started to approach a urinal when a black man took me by the hand and asked to take me back to my parents.I protested that I had to go, but he persisted and led me to our booth. The man told my parents that; “The little master was gonna use the colored bathroom. We could all get in a lot of trouble.” Dad apologized and took me to the White Only boys’ room. I was indignant. It took lots of rather clumsy explanations for me to finally be told to accept that things were different in the South…and to shut up. I decided never to forget the look on the man’s face who saved us from ‘trouble’. There was something terribly wrong.
There were other influences over the years. My friend, Jack Lord from Pompano introduced me to books by Martin Luther King, President Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage, and one about Gandhi. They made big impressions on my thinking. Not a reading list my conservative Republican parents endorsed, but they allowed me to delve into them anyway. But the next event that shook up my conscience happened in 1967. I was 16 and a sophomore at Pine Crest School in Fort Lauderdale. One weekend I was invited to a friend’s house in Pahokee, Florida. Any excuse to get out of the dorm was welcome. Several of the dorm kids were from Pahokee and it sounded like a great time.On Sunday I was expected to attend church services with my host family at First Baptist Church. One of my friends Dad was a deacon at the church and met us at the door to chat about football prior to the services. As we were talking, an African American couple from out of town began walking up the steps to the sanctuary. The Dad excused himself, went into the vestibule and returned with a shotgun. He pointed it at the couple and said; “You must be in the wrong place. The nigger church is down the street.” The frightened folks made a hasty retreat. I was so angry that I couldn’t find words for hours. I just sat there in the car all the way back to Ft. Lauderdale with hot tears in my eyes. I finally decided that I would never be silent about something like this again.
On April 4, 1968 I was in night study hall at Pine Crest when the teacher in charge, Mr. Ed Sickman, called for our attention and told us Senator Robert Kennedy announced in Indianapolis that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had been assassinated in Memphis. We were devastated. How could such a thing happen in our country? King’s words kept playing in my head; “I have felt the power of God transforming the fatigue of despair into the buoyancy of hope. I am convinced that the universe is under the control of a loving purpose and that in the struggle for righteousness man has cosmic companionship.” Was he wrong? Had we sunk to such a level as a people that all hope was gone? How could God let this happen? My heart was broken. That was undeniable. Then, a few short weeks later, Senator Kennedy was killed. My inner transformation was in full swing. I began to question everything about my beliefs. But, like any conversion, the process was not linear.
Conversions and Transformation Take Time to Affect Change
My penchant for racially insensitive and mean joke telling continued for years. Even though my heart was changed, my mind wasn’t. The guilt I experienced was not enough to stop my comments to others which might have influenced or reinforced their own prejudices. It is said that one has to really want to change for it to happen. I believe that this is true. Certainly, the pivotal events I described above were the impetus for my change.But there is more to it than that. I spent much of my life helping kids who suffered the most terrible trauma, and adults who struggled with addictions as a result of horrific childhood experiences. They are of every race, religion, sexual orientation, social background and on and on. They have been my teachers. More than all of my college African American Studies, workshops, retreats and community leadership gatherings about prejudice, my patients led me to the spiritual truth that we are all unique but conversely all the same. It took years for me to reach a place where my bias does not actively direct my behavior. But I still have to be on guard. Old demons can still raise their pointy heads.
The process of conversion and transformation is well told in the lives of Saul of Tarsus (a relentless persecutor of early Christians), John Newton (the slave trader who wrote Amazing Grace) and George Wallace (the Governor of Alabama who infamously preached; ''Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever''). All three of these men were feared and reviled, but celebrated by many as well. Then something happened which turned each of them around and transformed not only their own lives, but the lives of countless others. Saul became the Apostle Paul and spent his life dedicated to those he once would have slaughtered. John Newton wrote the beloved hymn “Amazing Grace” and wrote extensively on the evils of slavery. His conversion took 38 years by the way. It is seldom immediate. George Wallace was shot in 1972 by a would-be-assassin. He recalled as he lay on his back, blood pooling on the ground, a light came into his heart and as his son later remarked “this was his first step on the road to Damascus.” Wallace poured himself into Bible study and found a new faith system that did not allow discrimination and hatred. He asked his former enemies for forgiveness. Congressman John Lewis, for one, offered it to him saying; “George Wallace should be remembered for his capacity to change.”
Storytelling and Use of Resources to Stem the Tide of Prejudice; It’s Always a God Thing
Telling your own story and listening to the fears of those to whom we minister are critical elements in the work we do to help people find their way. There are important questions to ask ourselves when developing such stories. This involves self-examination and seeking to find the roots of prejudices. Among them are these;
Do you remember the attitudes your parents had about other races, religions, ethnic groups when you were a child?
How did your prejudice develop?
Can you recall a time when you held prejudiced attitudes or beliefs or acted in a discriminatory manner because your group of friends expected you to?
Can you think of a prejudiced attitude you have held toward a group of people?
Have you ever been the target of discrimination? If so, how did this negative treatment make you feel?
Do I hold any stereotypes that may lead to excluding, avoiding, and biased treatment of others?
Have you witnessed racism toward any racial or ethnic groups?
Are you aware of racism in your community?
In addition to the stories we develop, there are also some excellent tools available to us that would help create dialogue and build bridges between groups. Among them is the Sojourners Study Guide and Book by Jim Wallace called “America’s Original Sin”. I have used them in my work over the years and find them to be extremely helpful to participants in exploring belief systems and building community. A copy of the study guides are provided here in pdf form for your use. There is a virtual learning series called “Racial Equity & Liberation” which is also quite valuable and easy to access. Another good current resource guide was developed by Yusef Mgeni in 2017.The time for action is now. Clare Hanrahan, the social activist, leaves us with this formidable warning;“Like the deadly currents in the Mississippi River, racism still lurks about even when much of the surface seems calm. Today, its poisons are rising again like a deadly fog off the surface of deep and troubled waters.”
Here is the truth
Fear of others is the fundamental emotion that guides prejudice and discrimination. It always searches for a scapegoat. When we develop a desire to change through the intervention of a “Power Greater the Ourselves” a realization begins to take hold. As one of my patients used to repeat over and over to me; “I’m not in charge. It’s a God thing.” We will realize that all of us are fundamentally the same, no matter what our age, gender, race, culture, religion, limits or disabilities may be. We all have vulnerable hearts and need to be loved and appreciated. We belong to a common humanity. As we begin to listen and really hear each other’s stories things begin change and everyone involved is transformed.
Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse. In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
The Listening Mission: Learning to Hear Each Other in Times of Noisy Saber Rattling
We have worn ourselves out with fist shaking. It is time for some really deep listening.
It seems that we are all too eager to pick sides nowadays.
My wife, Bonita, asked me earlier this week how and when I was going to write about counseling victims of gun violence, the kids march on Washington and important issues of the day which divide our country. Memories came of being an eleven year old on the Edison Grade School playground in Danville, Illinois way back in the dark ages. A baseball game was about to commence.Captains were appointed by our teacher and then the chosen boys began picking their favorites, or the most talented as team-mates. Sides quickly developed. Friends became immediate rivals and the game began. We decided to be The Cubs vs The Yankees.Young Mickey Mantle faced Don Cardwell. Little Ernie Banks faced Whitey Ford. It was 1961 and hard for a boy not to love the Yanks…but we lived in Cub Country. What are ya gonna do? When the game was over, despite heated arguments about who was safe on first, and what the strike zone was, we all became friends again.Wouldn’t it be great if it worked that way in all our affairs? But today we often make hard and fast binary choices which create permanent teams. This ‘adult’ kind of side picking just isn’t working very well.
Finding Common Ground through Deeper Listening
We have worn ourselves out with fist shaking. It is time for some really deep listening. We who are Chaplains, students, human service providers, educators, youngsters, counselors, and folks from every walk of life who believe in freedom cannot rest until the possibility for common ground is reestablished.I learned a lesson about listening from a group of eight sexually abused boys who were participating in group therapy with me. We were working on the 12 Steps and they had received a Second Step assignment at the previous session to identify a ‘Power greater than themselves’. These kids suffered things that most of us can never imagine. They were tough survivors in small packages who protected themselves by keeping everyone at an arms distance. I found that it was more important to hear what they weren’t saying.But finding common ground in something greater than their abuse and bigger than their addictions was an important milestone to achieve for each of them and for the group. Each session always began in moments of silence. They hated that. But it allowed them to find a quiet safe zone from which to begin. On this day, one after another, they revealed their ‘Higher Power’. Shane chose a traditional God, Michael chose The Universe, Jason chose numbers (no beginning and no end). Then came Thad. He chose a doorknob.The group burst into laughter and he became red-faced. I quieted the guys and asked Thad to explain. He said that he had seen a picture of Jesus standing in a garden knocking at a door. He had noticed that there was a doorknob on the inside of the cracked open door but none on the outside. He then glared at the other boys and said; “That’s my Higher Power. I get to choose whether to open the door or not.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. Laughter had been replaced by little sobs. We had listened deeply to Thad. His wisdom opened us all to new possibilities.
Giving Advice, Good Counsel and Talk is the Easy Fix…Try the Listen First Project
My training as a counselor and therapist emphasized listening over talking. This can be a tough practice when people who come to me are overtly seeking direction. They say they want me to tell them which way to turn. They beg for solace, wisdom and comfort from my words. They want for someone to fix things, to ease the pain and guide them to safe shores. But I have found when I follow their desire and offer interventionist management that my clients are seldom helped for very long. It is dangerous and presumptuous of me to think I know what is best. Rev. Gregory J. Boyle, S.J. recently told me that ‘we can shine a beam of hope on the light switch but it is up to the individual to turn it on or not’. Carl Jung said the therapist has been invited into a patient’s sacred inner temple and that we must remove our shoes before entering. He often told stories rather than give advice. The short of this is to say that we always bring bias and pre-judgment to the table. This is why it is so important to listen carefully, thoughtfully and tenderly. Unless there is a severe mental illness blocking the way, every person has a pretty good idea of where they need to go and what they need to do. We just need to shine the light in the right direction to help them see the way to their own answers.Chaplains know better than most about the power of listening. They are called in times of crisis to be present without fixing people. They learn that being there, often in silent oneness, for those who are grieving and in pain is more powerful than any words or evangelizing could hope to be. They bring psychological and spiritual healing as they experience gut wrenching stories of loss happens with deep listening and empathy. This ‘Listening Presence’ is perhaps the most critical skill a Chaplain can develop. It is the tool they will use more than any other.This active listening approach is used in business and community affairs to reach goals and solve problems. Lee Iacocca, the automobile industry genius said; “Business people need to listen at least as much as they need to talk.” The Listen First Project has identified four drivers to improve economic results.
Discover what listening means to your employees, each person's listening style, and how to build your team around a common set of core principles
Learn effective listening techniques and specific behaviors that drive results
Practice the skills necessary to become a professional listener
Engage employees beyond the workshop by infusing communications with Listen First principles that foster a positive team listening environment
Listen First is a ‘movement to mend the frayed fabric of America by bridging divides one conversation at a time’. They have been instrumental in bringing healing to communities around the country. Their National Week of Listening began on April 20th of 2018 in Charlottesville, VA (#ListenFirst). In an age of ever increasing division and polarization, this group is offering hope. The first step is to take their Pledge:"I will listen first to understand and consider another's views before sharing my own. I will prioritize respect and understanding in conversation. And I will encourage others to do the same."
Creating Safe Places for Listening
People don’t feel safe sharing their opinions. Even though there is quite a bit of ranting on Face Book, Twitter and other social media, most of us put on a brave face and don’t engage. A woman I know and have helped over the years is struggling with the binary choices and ponderous polarization that her son is experiencing in a northern high school. They moved from the south a few years ago. She confided in me that “my son gets "bullied" by his peers AND teachers for wearing Trump, NRA or God Bless America items. Todd (not his real name) is a responsible long gun competitor.” The young man is dating a girl whose mother has strong “liberal” principles and exerts quite a bit of influence over her daughters thinking. The girl and Todd have to hide his beliefs or she would never allow them to see each other. Additionally, my former client feels unable to tell people about her strong fundamental Christian faith or political preferences for fear of being chastised and shunned by her community.I wonder what it might be like if we created Listening Missions in our places of work, play and worship? Imagine regular meeting places and times where ideas, differences and possibilities were really heard, honored, discussed and processed. I am sure that we would find some brilliant solutions.Then there is the former Rural Southern Voice for Peace (RSVP) now known as The Listening Project, which is a group offering help to organizations and communities. Back in 1981, The Rural Southern Voice for Peace, founded by Herb and Marnie Walters in Celo, North Carolina, began a “deep listening” fellowship which has become The Listening Project. My best friend from Danville, Steve Magin was one of those engaged in starting community listening projects (CLP’s).These CLPs are a comprehensive listening, organizing and action process that can take grassroots organizing to new levels of skill and success. They also organized Facilitated Group Listening (FGL) which is another communication and action program offered by Listening Project. FGL enables larger groups of people to come together at the same time, to address differences, commonalities, problems and solutions. It is structured so all participants agree to a contract that protects each person’s right to be heard and respected. Listening takes place in small groups that are guided by a trained facilitator.They can be reached at Rural Southern Voice For Peace ~1036 Hannah Branch Rd., Burnsville, NC 28714 or 828.675.4626 or herbrsvp@gmail.com
We Have the Bully Pulpit
Our 26th President, Teddy Roosevelt, recognized that his office gave him a unique platform from which to listen, advocate and act. He called it the Bully (wonderful) pulpit. Our influence as servant leaders offers just such a platform and means to facilitate listening. We can shape a new conversation where win/lose or compromise are transformed to cooperation. When we compromise everyone has a stake in the loss.When we cooperate everyone has a stake in the win. We will have facilitated common ground and new ways to succeed are established. Our children are watching, pleading and demanding our cooperation in ending the stalemate that comes from polarization. They showed up and demonstrated across the country to make their point. We must begin to listen…and to hear each other in radical new ways. We share the bully pulpit. Let’s find a way to create Listening Missions wherever we serve.
Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast
The Addiction Epidemic: Re-ordering Strategies for Substance Abuse Disorders from Intervention to Prevention
More than 64,000 Americans died from drug overdoses in 2016, including illicit drugs and prescription opioids…nearly double in a decade. An estimated 88,000 people (approximately 62,000 men and 26,000 women) died from alcohol abuse in the same year. We lost 152,000 people. This makes alcohol and drug abuse/addiction the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States. Only heart disease and cancer took more lives.Congress approved and the President signed a bill funding $7.4 billion for addiction in 2018. But are we allocating our resources well? Are we addressing this health crisis in new and effective ways? It is a good and meaningful try to be sure. The problem is that we continue to allocate much more money and effort into putting out fires as opposed to preventing them.
Chattooga River
Are We Focused on the Real Problem? Insights from the Chattooga River
In my role as an addiction professional, I used to speak before groups of mental health, substance abuse and adolescent treatment providers on a fairly regular basis. One of the stories I liked to tell is that of a hiker in the Blue Ridge Mountains who had wandered onto an active emergency situation at a Class IV rapid on the Chattooga River.
There were ambulances, EMT’s, police officers, a coroner and lots of onlookers trying desperately to pull the dead and dying from still-treacherous waters below the rapids. The victims were young people who were beaten by rocks, lungs full of river, no longer able to help themselves. Knowing that he would only get in the way, the hiker hustled upstream. There he found another frantic situation indeed.
The whitewater of Bull Sluice was enveloping kayaks, canoes and swimmers. Specially trained First Responders and Experienced Whitewater Guides were using all of their skills in efforts to get people out of harm’s way to little avail. So the hiker went around the bend and up to a point where he heard cries for help and found several river guides and volunteers throwing floating devices on ropes, wading into swift water, hauling kids and boats up to shore from an area just above the Class IV treachery. Many were being rescued but some were swept away.
There was still little room for him to be of any use, so the hiker ran along the bank to find a group of youngsters swimming in the river. Some neighbors and volunteers from the down river site were trying to talk them into getting out of the water…warning of the perils downstream.
Several of them paid attention and followed the urgings of their warnings and headed in for dry land. Finally, a few hundred yards further on, the hiker found a bend in the river where it seemed to be warm and inviting. A group of kids were changing into swim wear and heading toward the water with rafts and inner tubes. There were no adults supervising, warning or rescuing. The situation was so ostensibly innocent.
He approached the young people, told them of all he had witnessed and talked about finding another way to enjoy the afternoon that might not be so life-threatening. He showed them the way to a little private cove where still water, a diving well and nice beach waited. Everyone took him up on the offer and enjoyed a safe day of adventure.
From the Intensive Care to Early Screening:
Our Inverted Focus (or Looking for Cures in All the Wrong Places)
I think my subtitle is a little cutesier than it should be. It makes me think of the 1980 Country song “Lookin’ for Love” by Johnny Lee making it hard to resist. Anyway, my story about the Blue Ridge Hiker is what I believe is an upside-down pyramid of attention, emphasis, funding and research in dealing with the opioid/addiction epidemic. The following are the categories of treatment intervention as I have experienced them in decades of direct service in the field of Substance Abuse Disorders (SUDs).Tertiary Intervention: Most of our precious time and resources has been given to what I call tertiary intervention. Like the hiker approaching the chaotic rescue efforts downriver, we have spent most of our time giving CPR to the dying and burying the others. Tertiary Interventions include;
- Emergency Response Teams (First Responders, LEO’s, Emergency Rooms, Hospitals, Intensive Care)
- 24 hour hospital based Short Term Medical Detox Centers
- Criminal Justice System
- Universal availability of naloxone
Secondary Intervention: These are Medically Managed Services for adolescents and adults. In my story, it is the discovery of direct whitewater rescue. Secondary Interventions include;
- Hospital based 24-hour nursing care and daily physician care for severe, unstable patients who cannot manage life without these intensive services.
- 24 hour Intensive Inpatient Services Withdrawal Management centers with counseling, physician, nursing and medication management services.
- Residential treatment centers with flexible programs to meet individual treatment needs depending on severity of illness.
Primary Intervention: Services at this level help those who do not require round-the-clock care. The hiker in the little tale finds swimmers and adventurers above the rapids but in some degree of real trouble. Primary Interventions include;
- Partial Hospitalization Services for adolescents and adults, this level of care typically provides 20 or more hours of service a week.
- Intensive Outpatient Services for adolescents and adults, this level of care typically consists of 9 or more hours of service a week.
- Outpatient Services for adolescents and adults, this level of care typically consists of less than 9 hours of service a week.
- Opioid Treatment Programs. (OTP) utilizes methadone or buprenorphine formulations in an organized, ambulatory, addiction treatment clinic for clients with severe Opioid-Use Disorders to establish a maintenance state of addiction recovery
- Drug Courts
Primary Prevention: Early Intervention for Adults and Adolescents, this level of care constitutes a service for individuals who, for a known reason, are at risk of developing substance-related problems, or a service for those for whom there is not yet sufficient information to document a diagnosable substance use disorder. This represents the final stop for our hiker. Primary Preventions include;
- Adverse Childhood Experience Screening (ACE’s)
- Classroom based substance abuse education programs
- Strategic Prevention Framework by SAMHSA
- Recovery Community Services Programs. Organizations that are grassroots, separate from the government run programs, separate from treatment services i.e., Faces and Voices of Recovery (FAVOR)
- Prescription Drug Monitoring Programs (PDMP). An electronic database that tracks controlled substance prescriptions in a state. PDMPs can provide health authorities timely information about prescribing and patient behaviors that contribute to the epidemic and facilitate a nimble and targeted response.
There is practically universal accord that our methods of dealing with drug and alcohol abuse have failed to achieve the desired results. The efforts to stem the tide of addiction by declaring a war on drugs (which was really a war on people engaged in it) proved almost fruitless.The problem is that despite good intentions, and an allocation of massive funding, we are continuing to pour resources into the least effective means of turning the tables on our nationwide epidemic. Policy makers and leaders have decided to ignore the facts and double down on a status quo method of dealing with a healthcare crisis which has been raging for almost 20 years. And the status quo has made virtually zero impact (statistically speaking) on outcomes.The Comprehensive Addiction and Recovery Act (CARA) of 2018 heralds a new era which will “Expand prevention and educational efforts—particularly aimed at teens, parents and other caretakers, and aging populations—to prevent the abuse of methamphetamines, opioids and heroin, and to promote treatment and recovery. However, it authorizes funding at the roughly the following levels nationwide;
- Inpatient, outpatient and OTP treatment at $4.1 billion
- Criminal Justice at $1.59 billion
- Prevention at $221 million (4.4 million per state)
- Recovery Support Services (FAVOR, recovery high schools, recovery housing) at $7 million or $140 thousand per state (not even enough to fund services in Upstate South Carolina for example)
There is a place on the planet which has used effective local initiatives in the form of policies to discourage drug use while offering solid alternative programs. Iceland built an anti-drug plan that focuses largely on providing kids with after-school activities, from music and the arts to sports like soccer and indoor skating to many other clubs and activities.They coupled this approach with banning alcohol and tobacco advertising, enforcing curfews for teenagers, and getting parents more involved in their kids’ schools to further discourage drug use.Researcher Harvey Milkman says of Iceland’s approach, that it’s “a social movement around natural highs: around people getting high on their own brain chemistry … without the deleterious effects of drugs.”As a result, Iceland, which had one of the worst drug problems in Europe, has seen adolescent consumption fall. The number of 15 and 16 year-olds who got drunk in the previous month fell from 42 percent in 1998 to just 5 percent in 2016, and the number who ever smoked marijuana dropped from 17 percent to 7 percent in the same time frame. In a similar time period, from 1997 to 2012, the percentage of 15 and 16 year-olds who participated in sports at least four times a week almost doubled — from 24 to 42 percent — and the number of kids who said they often or almost always spent time with their parents on weekdays doubled, from 23 to 46 percent.[/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title="The Vermont Approach" _builder_version="3.0.101"]
In another approach, the State of Vermont has developed a comprehensive health care policy which has changed the outcomes for opioid disorders dramatically using medication assisted treatment programs.It is called the “hub and spoke model” which was developed by the American Society of Addiction Medicine. The results have been encouraging. Vermont is doing much better than nearby states.It was the only state in New England that in 2015 was below the national average (of 16.3 per 100,000 people) for drug overdose deaths.[/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title="The Los Angeles Approach" _builder_version="3.0.101"]
One of the most dramatic approaches to dealing with the Drug Crisis can be found at Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles. Here, and in a multitude of spin-off organizations, comprehensive employment and life redirection strategies have been used to help gang members, previously incarcerated individuals and families to overcome violence and addiction.They are unconventional. Established by Rev. Gregory Boyle, they tell that at Homeboys, hope has an address. He tells us that, “Homeboy Industries has been the tipping point to change the metaphors around gangs and how we deal with them in Los Angeles County.This organization has engaged the imagination of 120,000 gang members and helped them to envision an exit ramp off the "freeway" of violence, addiction and incarceration. And the country has taken notice. We have helped more than 40 other organizations replicate elements of our service delivery model, broadening further the understanding that community trumps gang -- every time.”Every member of Homeboys must test clean on drug screens to be a part of the community service. Their unusual program is based on a spiritual model of unconditional love.[/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title="The Memphis Approach" _builder_version="3.0.101"]Memphis is using ACE’s.
The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Awareness Foundation of Memphis “informs the community about the role of emotional trauma in mental, physical, and behavioral health, and implements innovative models that provide preventable and sustainable solutions to reducing toxic stress in family systems.The Foundation launched and provides strategic oversight to the ACE Task Force of Shelby County, the Universal Parenting Places, and the Parenting Support Warm Line.” Although not an addiction or substance abuse disorder specific program, ACE’s used in the comprehensive way Memphis is developing will stem the tide through screening and direct services. The fact is that pain drives addiction and SUDS. Drugs and alcohol are abused by people who have childhood experiences and trauma that the rest of us cannot imagine.They are seeking relief and a hiding place. When a community like Memphis gathers its schools, juvenile justice system, LEO’s, pediatricians, colleges, churches, other human service providers, parents and families together, you can be sure that something incredible will happen.There is new research telling us incredible things about the way addicted brains work. Drugs have been found to hijack dopamine systems making ‘getting high’ an almost unavoidable consequence. Also, the adolescent brain, when exposed to drug use has little chance to form good cognitive processes. The idea that addiction is a moral failing has been practically eliminated. With that in mind, it is even more important that we begin thinking outside of the box.[/et_pb_tab][/et_pb_tabs][et_pb_text _builder_version="3.0.101"]
It’s Up to Us…Here and Now:
Just think…152,000 people lost from this preventable disease or disorder. People in our lives will die. We have a lot of work to do. Funding and programs will only go so far. Certainly, we have to encourage a change in the way budgets are allocated.Prevention first…at the very top priority…is the best and most worthwhile model to embrace. We cannot keep repeating mistakes of the past and expect different outcomes. But there is a spiritual, community reality that we must embrace as a foundation for how we deal with the problem of addiction and substance abuse disorders.The one who suffers is not someone else but is each and every one of us. If we are going to get beyond all of this, there is no other way to look at it. Our wounds are shared. We are all in this together. Here and now, and in each and every moment, we should be asking the question ‘What can I do to help’.Then we will find an answer._________________________________Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.Contact Bob Jones on LinkedinBob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast[/et_pb_team_member][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]
The Promise and Acceptance of Faith
When we are battered and beaten, God is at our side. When we fall and skin our knees, God is there to be with us. We cannot be separated. This is the truth. Faith is simply an acceptance of that truth.
“Faith’s only real demand on us is that we trustfully keep moving forward into the unknown. How things turn out in the end is not up to us.” ~ Paula Huston
Walking the path of life, while maintaining faith, can be a tricky project. There are so many distractions. Alluring temptations of power, fame, and the savory or sensational wave us in their direction. Pitfalls of disappointment, resentment, sadness and grief whisper to us that we are all alone. These interferences lead us on a well-worn trail that is ego-driven and desolate. Faith becomes a meaningless notion when the results depend upon us. After all, in the words of author Richard Leonard, SJ; “Where the hell is God?” Where is God when we are tempted? Where is God when we are full of grief? Where is God when things go wrong? Why are my prayers falling on deaf ears? Why should we have such capricious faith anyway?
God is not distant. This is the promise of faith. The experience of living in the world with the pleasures and storms which come our way can be challenging. There are no guarantees that things will be easy just because we have faith. What we have is a God who never leaves us. We can go to the depths and rise to the heights but God hangs right in there. The answer to the question ‘Where the hell is God’ comes as a gentle whisper saying; “I am with you always. Everything I have is yours.”When we are battered and beaten, God is at our side. When we fall and skin our knees, God is there to be with us. We cannot be separated. Faith is simply an acceptance of that truth.
Today I will step out with the assurance that I am not stepping out on my own. I am held in the arms of a loving God.
Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.
In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.
His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast
Justice, Mercy and Compassion
by Robert Kenneth Jones
Banner photo by Phillip LeConte
Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.
In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.
His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast
Mindfulness For Everyday Peace; How meditation, prayer and contemplation are shaping our world
Mindfulness is a psychological state of heightened moment-to-moment awareness through specific practices and disciplines such as meditation and contemplative prayer. It is about achieving a state of mind that is centered in the present and devoid of judgment (the past) and worry (the future).
by Robert Kenneth Jones
The practice of Mindfulness is moving the nation along a path to gentle revolution. I recently watched the 2017 documentary ‘Mindfulness Goes Mainstream’ from PBS and learned that the transformative influence of mindfulness along with Centering Prayer, yoga and other disciplined practices is spreading throughout our country. This has been brewing for a long time but is now emerging as a proven way for relieving stress, offering tools for pain management and providing techniques for increasing focus while improving productivity.Mindfulness has been embraced by America’s biggest corporations, the Armed Services, police departments, and our school systems. Evidence-based studies conclude that it is having a positive effect on personal health. It should be no surprise that these methods once limited to Eastern religions and old hippies are now being embraced by millions of ordinary people who are trying to survive an increasingly complex and hectic world.
So what is mindfulness anyway?
My personal experiences with it have led me to the following explanation; Mindfulness is a psychological state of heightened moment-to-moment awareness through specific practices and disciplines such as meditation and contemplative prayer. It is about achieving a state of mind that is centered in the present and devoid of judgment (the past) and worry (the future).Most of us begin to feel like we are spending our whole lives trying to get by. This realization seeps into consciousness somewhere around age 40. You start to develop uneasiness about the secret desperation that you have been hiding for so long. The things that were so important yesterday seem shallow and meaningless today. You look fine on the outside but are crumbling on the inside. You just know there has to be a better way to live more fully. This is when turning to mindfulness is so useful. Andy Puddicombe, the co-founder of Headspace, a digital health platform, describes the transformative power of doing just that by devoting only ten minutes a day simply by being mindful and experiencing the present moment.
Mindfulness in the Workplace
Corporations such as General Mills, Aetna, Target and Google are using mindfulness to improve innovative thinking, communication skills and more appropriate reactions to stress. They have built extensive programs to foster mindful practices among employees and have seen benefits and improvements in employee health, productivity and job satisfaction. Leadership courses have been developed which use mindfulness as the touchstone of success.
Mindfulness in the Military
The United States Marines are embracing mindfulness and report remarkable results. Marines who took an eight-week course in the basics of mindfulness recovered from stress faster following an intense training session that replicated battlefield conditions. Four platoons underwent the standard training regimen to prepare for combat. Members of the other four additionally received eight weeks of mindfulness-based mind fitness training. This consisted of 20 hours of classroom time plus homework: Participants were asked to complete “at least 30 minutes of daily mindfulness and self-regulation exercises.”The Marines were assessed at the beginning and end of the eight-week program, and again a week or so later after they completed a highly stressful, day-long training exercise at a special facility designed to replicate combat conditions. This training required them to respond to an enemy ambush.Afterward, 54 Marines who had undergone mindfulness training and 53 who did not undergo a series of medical tests. They revealed that the heart and breathing rates of the mindful Marines returned to normal faster than those of the control group members. Brain scans on a subset of 40 Marines also found differences between the two groups. Focusing on several parts of the brain implicated in cognitive control and emotion regulation, the researchers found exposure to emotional faces produced less activation. There is a reason to believe that this method of strengthening mental and emotional resilience will even reduce to incidence of PTSD for veterans.
Mindfulness in the Law Enforcement
Law enforcement officers and first responders have been engaging in mindfulness programs and practices for about ten years. In a pilot study conducted by Oregon police officer Richard Goerling and Michael Christopher of Pacific University, officers who learned mindfulness skills reported “significant improvement in self-reported mindfulness, resilience, police and perceived stress, burnout, emotional intelligence, difficulties with emotion regulation, mental health, physical health, anger, fatigue, and sleep disturbance.” This echoes some of the research from an earlier study, which found that police officers who went through mindfulness training experienced less depression in their first year of service. This approach is certainly preparing LEO’s and first responders with better ways to handle their emotional stressors in an era where they face increasing violence every day.
Mindfulness in the Classroom
Our public and private schools are using mindfulness practices to help students deal with stress, the threat of gun violence, bullying, and classroom restlessness. Two different studies were done by Cheryl Desmond, Ph.D., and Laurie Hanich, Ph.D., of middle school children who had taken the “Wellness Works in Schools” mindfulness-based course showed significant gains in self-regulation and executive function.Discipline problems become teachable moments for kids who have learned how to use mindfulness. Dennie Doran, head of the Upper School at the Nantucket New School and a teacher there has been at the school for nine years. She definitely sees a “before” and “after” effect since they began teaching mindfulness. “We have a common language from the 3-year-olds to the 14-year-olds. ‘Was that a mindful decision?’ ‘Did you think about your choice?’ ‘Stop and take a breath.’ So that by the time the lower school gets to the upper school we’re dealing with teachable moments instead of discipline problems. They’re learning self-awareness and then making choices based on that self-awareness.”Perhaps we are entering a new age in schools not rooted in hardening or softening them but in helping students and teachers to find deeper and more meaningful connections with self and others.
A few of the many benefits of Mindfulness:
Provides key elements to dealing with and fighting stress
Provides a great tool for breaking bad habits
Helps us build compassion through personal spiritual or religious experiences
Allows us to be more strategic in terms of our goals
Pope Francis relates to mindfulness and Centering Prayer as “serene attentiveness” which approaches life by being fully present to someone without thinking of what comes next, which accepts each moment as a gift from God to be lived to the full. He reminds Christians that “Jesus taught this attitude when he invited us to contemplate the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, or when seeing the rich young man and knowing his restlessness, he looked at him with love. He was completely present to everyone and to everything, and in this way; he showed us the way to overcome that unhealthy anxiety which makes us superficial, aggressive and compulsive consumers.”
Mindfulness at Home
I have found that mindfulness enables me to experience every moment. There is an ever-present opportunity to step into a moment and find peace. I have grown in deeper, loving awareness of the wonders of creation and in my connectedness with other people. I don’t live in the past or worry about the future (for the most part…I’m working on it). Gradually, I have come to believe in the truth of The Serenity Prayer and that we are all here, on earth, in the peaceful presence of the Creator. Thanks at least in part to mindfulness. So, get quiet, sit up straight, close your eyes...now take a deep breath in and let it out. There. You are on your way to practicing mindfulness.Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash
Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.
In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.
His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast
The Beloved Community
God wants a humanity that is characterized by this sort of fearless love which neutralizes the power of evil and transforms it to good.
“The aftermath of nonviolence is the creation of the beloved community. The aftermath of nonviolence is redemption. The aftermath of nonviolence is reconciliation. The aftermath of violence is emptiness and bitterness.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dr. King worked for the establishment of a Beloved Community. The Beloved Community in which love of enemies, non-violent resolution of conflicts, human dignity, peace, and freedom will overcome hatred, division, and selfishness. What a magnificent dream. His message of love stirred up controversy and he was called a rabble-rouser. His message of love made lots of enemies but he was undeterred. God wants a humanity that is characterized by this sort of fearless love which neutralizes the power of evil and transforms it into good.
Fifty years ago, Dr. King was taken from us at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis. It was such a tragic day. Violence, fear, and hatred seemed to rob us of his beloved community dream. But of course, in reality, violence never wins.
One of the most amazing peacemakers I have known rose from the ashes of that dark day in Tennessee. Clare Hanrahan, began her battle for justice and mercy when she was 18 in her home town of Memphis after the assassination of Dr. King in 1968. From then on her work has been tireless.
Though many of our generation put aside work for non-violence and the beloved community after the War in Vietnam, Clare did not stop. She has been a protester at the gates of bomb factories, has been jailed in federal prison for protesting at the School of The Americas and has stood in silent, non-violent vigils for immigrants, women and the marginalized. At age 62 she started an organization called New South Network of War Resisters. Clare recently said in an interview at her Asheville, North Carolina home, “I think we've all got to live in the light of what we feel is right action and just do that.”
One of her books, The Half-Life of a Free Radical: Growing Up Irish Catholic in Jim Crow Memphis, tells the story of her work and struggles. She has been a light for us all to follow exemplifying Dr. King’s dream and stressing alternatives to violence. Like Clare Hanrahan, we always have the option to be kind and gentle. We always have the option to let go of personal bias in favor of cooperation. We always have the option to love instead of hate. We have the chance, here and now, to exercise these options and become co-creators of Dr. King’s beloved community.
_______________________________
About the Author
In a career spanning over four decades, Robert Kenneth Jones has been an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse. His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
Guided by Another Easter
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell
Easter shakes us up.
It asks us to let go and let God. Easter reminds us that our lives are not our own. We clearly discover that we are not in charge. God seems to have another idea for us. It is an idea which has little to do with our own plans.Couldn’t most all of us confirm that we never planned to be exactly who we are and where we are today?Our passions and dreams are only diminished by the alluring attraction of wealth, power or even by the need for security. When we compromise, put off or set aside the fire in our bellies, the chances are good that it might be reduced to a flickering memory of what-might-have-been.
And so, we trudge ahead, doing what we are expected to do. The terrible consequence is a life lived only on the surface. We arrive at our destination and find there is nobody there to cheer for us. We take nothing with us and finish as a weary traveler. Then we simply disappear into the background.This is God's better idea. As Gods exceptional and beloved child, each of us is given special gifts and special powers unique unto ourselves. Every gift and power ignite that little fire which burns as our passion. When we pay attention to this fire it becomes bliss. We are directed by its light through darkness, rain and life storms.When true to our course, following our bliss and honoring God’s gifts we become enabled to live fully. We become instruments of God’s dream. We arrive at our destination in the embrace of a loving community. We bring all of the accumulated love with us. We are never forgotten.Easter is a time for renewal and new beginnings. We have a chance to affirm our gifts and to re-ignite our special powers. Easter sets us free. Easter renews us. Easter brings us home.“When I look through God's eyes at my lost self and discover God's joy at my coming home, then my life may become less anguished and more trusting." ~ Henri Nouwen
The Good of Good Friday
"Christmas and Easter can be subjects for poetry, but Good Friday, like Auschwitz, cannot. The reality is so horrible it is not surprising that people should have found it a stumbling block to faith."~ W.H. Auden"
"Christmas and Easter can be subjects for poetry, but Good Friday, like Auschwitz, cannot. The reality is so horrible it is not surprising that people should have found it a stumbling block to faith." ~ W.H. Auden"
Archbishop Fulton Sheen answered W.H. Auden’s view on Good Friday with the simple statement that without Good Friday in our lives, there can be no Easter Sunday. It is a painful truth that most of us would like to avoid. It’s horrific to think about the heart-wrenching events of Good Friday. Yet, despite them, followers of Christ have held the day sacred and holy for two millennia. Somehow, goodness comes from evil. Salvation comes from obliteration.
The most terrible things that have happened always yield to something transforming. I think about The Holocaust with its ghastly images and unimaginable misery. The devastation cannot be undone. But from the ashes of horror came a homeland for Israel, a bond of friendship among nations. There have been the awakening gifts of inhumanity from Elie Wiesel, Anne Frank, Viktor Frankl, and so many others.
We have been challenged to change. I also think about the people who have terminal diseases that could suffer in silence, but rather, rise up to give a voice to cures and better treatment. They give us hope when we would be hopeless.Good Friday is only good when it carries us to an empty tomb.
"This is a day of reflection and acceptance. Let me be open to goodness."
________________________________
About the Author
In a career spanning over four decades, Robert Kenneth Jones has been an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse. His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration, and meditation.
Links
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast
Servant Leadership: Developing Powerful Co-reliant Communities
Servant leadership is a philosophy and set of practices that enriches the lives of individuals, builds better organizations and ultimately creates a more just and caring world.
Twenty-seven years ago I was trying to figure out where my faith journey was going and what I would do about living differently.
Brevard, NC was the place I was calling home at the time. As a faith formation coordinator in my church, I was coming into contact with several other middle-aged folks from different religions that were hungry for some kind of renewal. A group of us began gathering on a regular basis in each other’s homes for study, prayer, and conversation. We soon discovered that people were meeting in nearby Hendersonville under the direction of Bennett J Sims, a retired Episcopal Bishop. Bennett and his wife Mary had moved their Institute for Servant Leadership from Atlanta in 1988. We joined with the Hendersonville group and began classes to prepare ourselves for servant leadership.Robert K. Greenleaf began the modern day Servant leadership movement in a 1970 essay The Servant as Leader. It has become “a philosophy and set of practices that enriches the lives of individuals, builds better organizations and ultimately creates a more just and caring world.” His concepts, ideas, and writings were seen as controversial, lofty and unrealistic at first. But soon, the religious and secular worlds began to embrace these principals. Many have found that Servant Leadership has the power to transform human experience. Greenleaf’s work and Bennett Sims direction led the twelve of us from Brevard to attend two resident workshops at The School of Servant Leadership at the Festival Center in Washington, DC, and ministries of The Church of The Savior. The teaching and experiential group processes under the gentle mentorship of Gordon Cosby changed each of us in profound ways.The Wisdom of Gordon CosbyI will never forget Gordon’s words to us when we first met. We had filed into a room where he was reclining in a chair. When we were seated he met each one of us in an intentional loving gaze. In a few minutes he said; “Welcome to the Festival Center and to your Nation’s Capital. We have been waiting for you…for a long, long time. All of eternity has conspired to bring you here right now.”Gordon Cosby’s greeting sums up the message of Servant Leadership for me. Though it is certainly a philosophy which has generally prescribed practices, the welcoming of this well known, great man expressed its essence in the language of unconditional love. He shared his vision of Christ who serves the poor in community while empowering each other. He taught that power comes from the bottom up rather than top down. He proposed that each of us find a passion which might lead to conquering and healing poverty, racism, addiction, and disease.Servant Leadership Goes MainstreamServant Leadership is the future of our future according to Anthony Perez. It has been expressed in many ways and applied in many contexts. Some of the most well-known advocates include Joyce Hollyday, William C. Pollard, Jim Wallis, Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Peter Senge, M. Scott Peck, Ian Fuhr, Margaret Wheatley, Ann McGee-Cooper, Larry Spears, and Kent Keith. Servant Leadership Institutes have been established across the entire country in community-based programs from Greensboro, NC to Austin, TX to Carlsbad, CA and are attended by thousands of people from all walks of life. The bottom line is that satisfaction and great results come with the applications of servant leadership.Larry Spears 10 Core Characteristics of Servant Leadership
- Listening ~ Servant leadership requires leaders to listen to other people, not just be good at communication and decision-making. Listening is about focusing on what is being said and using this information for guiding the group towards objectives. An effective leader should also identify the things that are left unsaid, as well as the inner voices.
- Empathy ~ Listening increases the ability to empathize. Since the focus of servant leadership is to serve others it necessitates an ability to accept and recognize the individual values and feelings people have. A servant leader should be able to love and understand others without prejudice.
- Healing ~ Servant leadership emphasizes the emotional health of an individual, together with mental and physical wellbeing. A servant leader should focus on his or her potential to heal one’s own self and others creating a greater possibility of achieving wholeness.
- Awareness ~ Servant leadership requires awareness, both in terms of general awareness and self-awareness. Self-awareness, in particular, requires the leader to see their emotions and behaviors in the context of how it affects the rest of the community or group. Through self-awareness, you become better at noticing what the people around you are doing and fix problems quicker.
- Persuasion ~ Servant leadership doesn’t rely on authority to get things done. Instead, the concept uses persuasion in order to make a decision. The servant leader seeks for consensus rather than compliance, which is perhaps the biggest difference to traditional authoritarian models. Personal relationships are developed rather than exerting positions of power.
- Conceptualization ~ A servant leader is able to conceive solutions to problems, which are not presently there. This kind of conceptualization, therefore, requires the leader to look beyond simple day-to-day realities. In a traditional leadership model, the leader’s focus is often on short-term operational objectives. But a servant leader must look beyond these and conceptualize issues that might not even be on the horizon.
- Foresight ~ Another relating point to conceptualization is the concept of foresight. Servant leadership requires the ability to foresee likely outcomes through the understanding of the past. There are three key points to foresight in leadership:
- The ability to learn from past experiences
- The ability to identify what is currently happening
- The ability to understand the consequences of specific decisions
- Stewardship ~ Stewardship in servant leadership relates to taking responsibility for your actions and those of the community, group or team. The main assumption is to commit to serving the needs of others first. Not only is the organization holding its trust in the leader, but the whole organization is also to serve the wider community. It’s not about controlling the actions, but to rather allow yourself to be accountable.
- Commitment to the growth of people ~ Servant leadership model focuses on the intrinsic value people offer. Therefore, the aim of a servant leader is to help people realize their potential beyond just the ability to perform well. Servant leadership requires the commitment to help people realize their potential, as well as to support it.
- Building community ~ Servant leadership relies on the creation of a community and a sense of togetherness within the organization. Greenleaf wrote in his essay, the best way to achieve community might stem from smaller groups. He said, “Achieving many small-scale communities, under the shelter that is best given by bigness, may be the secret of synergy in large institutions”.
Chaplain Programs Embrace Servant LeadershipIn January of 2018, The Annual Law Enforcement Management Conference included a session called The Positive Power of Servant Leadership. It was recognized that the Chaplain program is an example of Servant Leadership in action. Those who serve, often without monetary compensation, offer comfort and counsel in the most painful of circumstances. Their acts of mercy and kindness relieve LEO’s of dealing with crisis intervention, death notices, and hospital or home visitations (to mention only a few of their duties). They provide the human face of police departments. That humanity allows the Chaplain to build trusting relationships which nobody else can do. When Chaplains are given the opportunity to receive Servant Leadership training, their empowering work takes on deeper dimensions of humility and vulnerability. They become more comfortable in making mistakes and more easily accept setbacks. The qualities of a good servant leader are the ones most often applied to Chaplains. They are as follow;
- Open-mindedness
- Trustworthiness
- Helpfulness
- Selflessness
- Awareness
- Accountability
Chaplain Harold Elliott’s long-standing Servant Leadership program has been widely acclaimed as a model for other departments. The Greenleaf Center has an ongoing program for Chaplain training in Atlanta.Servant Leaders One and AllWhether we are chaplains, LEO’s, human service providers, educators, corporate executives or anyone else for that matter, we are called to some kind of leadership in our families, workplaces, and communities. When we recognize our role of service in that context, incredible changes take place. Lives are enriched through the building of relationships with both those being served and those who are serving. I have come to believe that servant leadership is a powerful movement which humbly embraces powerlessness. This is an epiphany which can shape and transform every relationship in our lives.
The Wisdom of Tigger
"Tiggers never go on being Sad," explained Rabbit.” ~ A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
I have always been a Tigger person. His bounce and exuberance can be both wonderful and annoying. But more than anything, Tigger continually revels in his uniqueness. “The most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I’m the only one!” He thoroughly knows his character assets (cuddly, awfully sweet, a wonderful chap, loaded with vim and vigor and of course…fun).He constantly explores the things that others do well and always fails in his attempts to emulate or duplicate. Then, Tigger does the most wonderful thing, he accepts and then embraces who he is. Finally, he continues to celebrate.There is a happy philosopher and mystic in our Tigger. The Persian poet Hafez tells us that God only knows four words; “Come dance with me.” Tigger only knows four words; “Come bounce with me.” He embodies the wisdom of ‘thisness’ as described by Duns Scotus who said the absolute freedom of God allows God to create, or not to create, each creature.Its existence means God has positively chosen that creature, precisely as it is. In other words, each and every one of God’s creation is unique, one of a kind and specifically chosen to exist. The mold was broken at your birth as demonstrated by your DNA. There has never been and will never be another one who is just like you…and me…and Tigger.As Holy Week comes, pointing our way to Easter perhaps we might hope, dance and bounce our way along. I believe that God has a dream for us to live life fully with an ever-expanding joy. God loves for us to be wonderful (wonder-filled) things…Tiggers one and all.“Human beings are most fully human when they realize that they are creatures and give joyful response to the Creator. All that we are and all that we have comes from God; we are part of God's dream for a good creation using our freedom to do God's will.” ~ Verna Dozier
Photo by Dimitar Belchev on Unsplash
The Coming of Spring
Though some cold, snow and ice may show up in the next few days and weeks, the end of their reign is done. Only a few months ago we welcomed the first falling flakes in anticipation of holidays with gatherings of friends and family. Then, after being homebound, scooping too many driveways, being stuck at the side of the road, we moaned at the thought of more winter. When would it ever end!? Well, now is the time.
“Behold, my friends, the spring is come; the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of their love!” ~ Chief Sitting Bull
The Vernal Equinox 2018 in Northern Hemisphere arrived at 11:15 AM Central time yesterday, Tuesday, March 20. Spring has sprung and the weather-people are already predicting what the season will bring and what kind of summer will follow.What we know is that the long winter is over. Though some cold, snow and ice may show up in the next few days and weeks, the end of their reign is done. Only a few months ago we welcomed the first falling flakes in anticipation of holidays with gatherings of friends and family. Then, after being homebound, scooping too many driveways, being stuck at the side of the road, we moaned at the thought of more winter. When would it ever end!? Well, now is the time.
We have been blessed by spring’s arrival and turned the wintry corner onto the path of new beginnings. Even in the midst of long-suffering there appear daffodils, crocus and tulips. Even when we are ready to cash in and give up, there the reminder that though hard times may come, they will also leave.Springtime is all about renewal of life, renewal of joy and renewal of faith. The season reminds us that we are not condemned to death. Indeed, life is both good and filled with wonder. Happy, Happy Spring!
“Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature…the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter." ~ Rachel Carson
Enjoy The Ride
“Life can be great…but not when you can't see it. So, open your eyes to life: to see it in the vivid colors that God gave us as a precious gift to His children, to enjoy life to the fullest, and to make it count. Say yes to your life.” ~ Nancy Reagan
I propose that the best option we have is to enjoy life with every fiber of our being. The alternatives are bleak really, but the choice is ours to make. My personal credo for the past decade has been this; Life is a celebration. You just have to decide whether you are coming to the party or not.
There is nothing in the past that can sneak back into the present and drag you into its’ distant murky caves. There is nothing in the future that can lift you to its’ sunny shores either. Say ‘Yes’ to this morning. Say ‘Yes’ to this afternoon. Say ‘Yes’ to this evening. Say ‘Yes’ to Life. Then loosen your tight grip and let go. It’s your chance to embrace the moment. What are you waiting for?
“Live! Live! Live! Life is a banquet and most of you suckers are starving to death” ~ From the movie Aunie Mame
This is how I learned about loosening my grip on life. Several years ago I was asked to go with my best friend Steve and his nephew Greg to an old, rather run down amusement park in the Smokey Mountains. It was not what I had in mind, but the kid really wanted to ride the rides. One of them was an ancient wooden roller-coaster. It reeked of danger. But, like a good sport, I got in the seat and was buckled in. I was holding on to the safety bar with all my might before the thing ever took flight. When Greg saw my grip he asked why I was so freaked out while just sitting there. I was embarrassed and let go. He said that his Uncle Steve always told him to hold his hands up in the air during the ride and that I should try it. Not wanting to appear a chicken, I took his suggestion. It turned out to be the best roller coaster experience of my life.
So let’s all hop in…let go…and enjoy the ride! Why not? Life is Good.
Suicide Prevention (1-800-273-8255): A Way to Prevent, Understand and React to Suicide Death
This is the truth. We are experiencing a dramatic rise in suicide in The United States.
While other causes of death are on the decline, suicide is climbing…and it's doing so for every age group under 75. Suicide is the second-highest cause of death for 15 to 34 year-olds with the phenomenon of ‘suicide contagion’ or copycat suicide ever-increasing among teens. The suicide rate in the United States has grown by 24 percent over the last 15 years. Don’t you wish this was fake news? But it’s not.Music and Youth Culture Raise Suicide AwarenessLogic, the American rapper, singer, songwriter, and record producer has released a track on his most recent and third studio album called Everybody with the title, “1-800-273-8255” featuring Alessia Cara and Khalid in an effort to increase awareness and put a personal face on suicide. The song offers up the 800 number to guide people, especially his young audience, to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The hit song turned out to have an incredible impact in 2017. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL) says they received a 50 percent surge in calls last year after the April release of his new track. Logic performed the record at the 2018 Grammys. The NSPL revealed that in the two hours following Logic's performance of the track counselors received three times the number of calls they usually receive in that time period.It Feels Like It's My FaultI am no stranger to suicide. My work as a human services provider has all too often brought me to the broken hearts of those who are contemplating suicide as well as those that have loved a person who ended their own life. It’s hard to find anyone who is untouched by this. My own family has suffered through several. Each one has left us in a state of confusion and self-blame. I can never forget the awful notifications. I can never forget having to then break the news to loved ones. The memories are so vivid. I can never forget.Along with the fact that suicide is devastating and painful, it is also highly stigmatized. Its illusion of shame elicits a code of silence creating an even deeper misery. By ending this code of silence and destigmatizing suicide (and other mental health issues) the desolation they cause will be diminished. John Nieuwenburg is an award-winning business coach who addresses the way that we might move beyond silence and shame. His TEDx Talk is a must-see for those who suffer, family members, friends, human service providers, and Chaplains.New Trends in Suicide Prevention: Brain Science and ACESPrevention is possible. It is important to understand the risk and to know the facts. We are beginning to better understand the suicidal brain through new scanning techniques. Studying differences in the brains of suicide attempters and depressed individuals who never attempt suicide may help in developing better treatments. The incredible work being done with adverse childhood experiences (ACES) is leading us to believe that cumulative trauma in children increases suicide ideation in adults. A whole new treatment protocol is being established in communities like Memphis where schools, parents, hospitals, physicians, and other human service providers are being trained to recognize, screen for, and deal with trauma with its long term consequences. We have learned that 50 percent of lifetime mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, personality disorders, suicide ideation, and PTSD begin by age 14. Do you want to be the one to help? Here is a useful hashtag tool that might lead you in the right direction. #BeThe1ToThe Startling Truth of Blue SuicideThere is an alarming increase in police officer suicide that escapes national attention. ‘Blue Lives Matter’ is more than a slogan. These men and women who bravely serve and protect us face trauma or the threat of trauma every day they go to work. Like veterans of war, they are likely to think about suicide and act on those thoughts much more frequently than the average adult. Dr. David J. Fair, President, and C.E.O. Homeland Crisis Institute Crisis Intervention, Training, Consulting, and Response wrote recently that; “Police officers must deal with Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) daily. With officers being killed on almost a daily basis PTSD is raging. Not just for the officers where the shooting happened but on a national basis with something called Secondary PTSD. You can't work in law enforcement and not be affected by a police officer being injured or killed.” The Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention has created a study guide for Chaplains and other counselors. We are told that more law enforcement officers in The United States die by their own hand than are killed by felons. We must help break the silence and elevate suicide prevention efforts for the sake of our dedicated public servants, their families, and communities.Creating Suicide Programs and Ending the SilenceThere is so much more to be said. Worldwide, 350 million people (that’s 5 percent of the population) struggling with depression every day. They are suffering and sometimes dying in silence because we can’t seem to talk openly about it. We must push the conversation forward. Middle and high school health classes would be a perfect place to begin the dialogue. But precious few programs exist. Instead, remain silent or we continue to put most of our efforts into postvention.Let’s get out of our cycle of denial by admitting openly that these issues are real and lethal. Perhaps then, a Power Greater Than Ourselves can restore us to sanity.
Burned Out: What Happens When Too Much is Too Much?
Certainly, being a human service provider, a pastor, a chaplain, a police officer, healthcare worker, teacher, first responder, parent, caregiver, or some other servant leader can lead to burnout.You Are Not Alone: Hitting the Wall and So Many StressorsYou seem to hit a wall. It is a place of feeling overwhelmed, tired, pressured and crowded. All of the promises made and things that must be done are just too much. To live up to the expectations of others and those that are self-imposed becomes impossible.If you are experiencing (or have ever experienced) burnout, you are not alone. I sure have. It even led me to quit one job. I have also used excessive amounts of alcohol to relieve those pressures. The World Health Organization found that 96% of all mental health care workers experienced some level of burnout while a full half of their other study respondents experienced very high-levels.Am I Burning Out...Or Just Overly Tired?The Mayo Clinic has developed some questions, symptoms, and solutions to help us with ‘burnout syndrome’. I have found them helpful because it is often too late when my denial is finally overcome by exasperation and exhaustion. The consequences are never good. Physical, emotional and spiritual health can become so compromised that simple self-care is not enough. Professional help is all that will do. Not that seeking counseling is bad (it’s what I do for a living), but there are also things we can do and ways to recognize burnout before it gets too serious.Steven Covey described good methods for finding balance before burnout in his classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People with Habit 7, ‘Sharpening The Saw’. He tells us that there are four areas of “saw-sharpening” (or preserving and enhancing the greatest asset we have which is ourselves). He suggested having a balanced program for self-renewal in physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of our lives.Physical: Beneficial eating, exercising, and restingSocial/Emotional: Making social and meaningful connections with othersMental: Learning, reading, writing, and teachingSpiritual: Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or service”Oh by the way, if this book is not in your library you are missing a treasure.It is an absolute necessity that we care for ourselves in these four areas. The choices are rather simple. We can take time for regular renewal or we can burnout by overdoing, We can hit the wall or we can continue to serve. Feeling good doesn't just happen. We must live a life in balance by taking the necessary time to renew and refresh.Blue Burnout for LEO's and ChaplainsPolice officers experience a high rate of burnout syndrome and plateauing as described by the National Criminal Justice Reference Service (NCJRS).These men and women are protectors of justice, civil rights, and of the public who depend upon them. They give us long hours of service which are filled with continual stress. It is no wonder they are highly susceptible to overwhelming fatigue. Their heavy responsibilities often cause them to become hypervigilant and angry. There is far too little time for taking care of themselves. Blue Silence can become the rule of the day resulting in isolation, depression and suicide ideation. There are ways to deal with LEO burnout just as with other professions. One of the most important things to do is to reach out to Chaplains and other trusted people in the department. These are the folks who will understand. Nobody can handle this alone.Chaplains burnout too. Dealing with trauma and loss on a regular basis can lead to a skewed perspective and hypersensitivity. I always think of the verse in Mark 5:24-34 when the woman touches Jesus’ cloak while seeking healing. He is being pressed by the crowd yet feels a draining effect and turns around to see who touched his clothes.Talk about being sensitive! It is critically important for Chaplains to engage in regular mental health days away from their duties. When work is also a ‘calling’ there is an obligation which exceeds other professions. There are specific ways that are somewhat unique to Chaplains in recognizing and dealing with burnout. It is important to remember that little healing or spiritual guidance for others can be offered by a pastor who is chronically overwhelmed. Here is a helpful verse for reflection:The grace of God means something like:Here is your life.You might never have been, but you are,because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you.Here is the world.Beautiful and terrible things will happen.Don’t be afraid.I am with you.~ Frederick BuechnerA Case for Understanding Burnout and Help from The A Familiar NeighborThere is a novel I read a long time ago by Graham Greene called “A Burnt-Out Case.” It is a good resource for all of us. As the incidence of burnout rises it might be essential. The 2016 General Social Survey conducted byThe University of Chicago found that 50 percent of its respondents were consistently exhausted because of work, compared with 18 percent two decades ago. So we are all subject to burnout. There are no exceptions in any work-related field. This major health concern is far too pervasive to ignore or deny.Perhaps we need a bit of Mister Rogers wisdom in our hectic work-a-day world. He reminded us that while no one is perfect, it's our individual imperfections that make each one of us so special. We need to remember his gentle words; "I like you just the way you are" as we take the time to be as good to ourselves as we are to others. The only requirement is that we do the best we can. No more.We are not meant to be in high-stress situations all of the time despite living in an age where stress seems to be glorified…and where giving in is a sign of being a wimp. I have finally come to the conclusion that if being a ‘wimpy kid’ means taking care of myself and avoiding burnout…then let wimpdom be my home. I, for one, intend to live life fully. How about you?
Try A Little Nudge; How to change habits and manage life using simple positive influence
Can we parents, family members, friends, supervisors, teachers, pastors or human service providers get the people in our sphere of influence to do things that are good for them when they seem to be going in the wrong direction or even on a collision course with disaster?Why Do Good People Make Bad Choices?When presented with seemingly good options they choose a path of least resistance, the easy way out…or even pursue repetitious behaviors that fail every single time. It is frustrating to watch as life batters the people we care about. It feels like no matter what we do to force compliance or how much nagging, pleading and threatening is exerted, minimal change occurs. Far too often we end up exasperated with it all and just cut the person loose in the name self-preservation, detachment or tough love. It’s time to take another look. Perhaps all we need to do is provide a little nudge or to ‘catch them being good’.It's hard to change habits, but often a gentle push rather than a big shove can direct us in the right way. My own discovery of this truth happened at The Children’s Home of Vermilion County in Danville, Illinois where I was a child care worker in the early 1970s. There were eight boys, age 6-12 who were placed in my residential unit. My work with The Child Care Institute and with some innovative professors at The University of Illinois led me to believe that disadvantaged, abused and neglected children could achieve at the same level as their societal counterparts who had not experienced the rough edges of life. My boys were poor students who were disruptive at school and at our home. I decided to employ punishment techniques used throughout the institution for several weeks using consistent consequences for negative behavior. Nothing much changed. The boys generally complied but didn’t thrive. When I altered my methods to match discoveries about positive reinforcement or ‘catching them being good’ the change in our living environment was dramatic. The kids began to work harder to achieve goals. They became curious, grades improved and the atmosphere in the cottage became fun, spontaneous and controlled. You might wonder how and why this shift was so successful. It all started with the work of Dr. B. F. Skinner.How To Shape Behavior in Positive WaysSkinner developed and refined his theory of operant conditioning way back in 1948. He wanted to shape behavior in ways that were pleasant rather than punishing. He found by rewarding small behavioral steps toward a goal that responses changed rather easily and desired targets were reached quickly. His research led to enormous changes in classroom teaching developed by Dr. Wesley C. Becker at The University of Illinois. Becker discovered that instead of pairing misbehavior and attention more effective learning occurred when teachers paired desired behavior and attention. Paying positive attention to incremental successes greatly improved and accelerated learning. Becker went on to write a book called Parents Are Teachers which gave tools developed in classrooms to everyday Moms and Dads. Skinner and Becker became my mentors and the Children’s Home became my lab. The great discovery revealed that ‘catching them being good’ worked more effectively than other techniques.So how can we use this information here and now? Well, it’s become all about The Nudge! Richard Thaler won the 2017 Nobel Prize in economics for his Nudge Theory. He co-authored a book called Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness with Cass R. Sunstein which generated a lot of enthusiasm. It is interesting to me that this approach to behavior change comes from Thaler, a professor of economics at the University of Chicago and Sunstein, a legal scholar. Their simple wisdom for us all is this; “If you want to encourage people to do things…make it easy.” The theory teaches that “nudges” will help us manage our kids, our co-workers, our health and our aspirations.A nudge makes it more likely that an individual will make a choice, or behave in a particular way so that automatic cognitive processes are triggered to favor the desired outcome. Just like Skinner and Becker, Thaler proposes that positive reinforcement and arranging the work, school or home environment will achieve non-forced compliance to influence the motives, incentives and decision making of groups and individuals. The results have been astounding.Police Departments And A Nudge In The Right DirectionIt has been suggested that police departments use Nudge Theory to reduce repeated criminal behavior. John H. Laub of the University of Maryland and Jim Bueermann of the Police Foundation presented their sweeping plan for the use of Nudge at the 2013 Jerry Lee Symposium and some departments have embraced Nudge Theory successfully.I have become interested in how we might use The Nudge to help LEO’s get support services after trauma at work. Forcing them to be compliant with departmental policies and procedures to attend individual or group therapy sessions have proven to be only marginally effective. Nudge thinking is a stark departure from our traditional “carrots and sticks” approach. It relies on the idea that small changes to the “choice environment” can encourage large changes in people’s actions. Part of the appeal of nudges for both those seeking change and those who are being asked to change is that instead of mandating behavior, nudges offer people the ability to make their own decisions. There is substantial information and data which lead me to believe that a small tweak in the way we frame our internal systems will result in the desirable behaviors we want and healthier outcomes for everyone.Measures such as on-the-clock 20-30 minute didactic support groups every two to four weeks put on by local mental health providers, counselors, and in-house Chaplains would reduce the stigma associated with mandatory ‘head shrinking’. Completion of course work related to the groups could enable merit increases and/or affect chances for promotion. Using nudges to improve program adherence could promote better outcomes while limiting program costs. There are a plethora of possible benefits to utilizing The Nudge for law enforcement. As Richard Thaler tells us, we just need to make it easier.Using A Simple Nudge Toward SuccessThere is a huge opportunity to influence behavior in positive ways by employing nudge thinking. Remember that the beauty lies in its simplicity. From protecting the environment to encouraging kids to succeed and stay in school, from the efficacy of health services to reducing criminal behavior and from an opioid epidemic to new pathways for freedom from addiction, we have a means for change by applying the insights of operant conditioning and behavioral economics. So, why not get started with a small step at home or at work? See what happens when you catch someone being good. We could be at the beginning of a journey with unbelievable outcomes.After all…It just takes a little nudge.
How Blessed Are The Peacemakers
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.Where there is hatred, let me sow love,Where there is injury, pardonWhere there is doubt, faith,Where there is despair, hope.”~ Prayer of St. FrancisI was at the Vietnam Wall in our nation’s capital for a lighted monument tour not long ago. Experiencing the memorial at night is even more somber than during the day.The monument was dimly lit to maintain its dignity and in an effort to project the mission of remembrance. Whenever I visit this place I make it a point to stand and reflect beneath the name of Ron Hoffman, my Danville, Illinois childhood friend who was killed in the conflict at age twenty. My sixty-plus-year-old eyes were not doing so well locating his name and place on the wall and I was struggling. Suddenly I was surrounded by a small group of eighth-grade kids who were from Ohio on a school field trip. They asked what I was doing. The vision of my old bent over body with squinting eyes (using an i-phone flashlight for guidance) must have inspired some concern. These good and selfless youngsters spent quite a bit of time helping me look for Ron’s name. They touched my shoulder, asked for my story and listened intently. A boy found him for me and began to shout; “Here he is. I found Specialist Hoffman!” One of them hugged me. Tears were rolling down my cheeks in gratitude and love. They became peacemakers at a war memorial and restored my faith in their generation. They inspired me to set aside my anger and resentment about the conflict which took (and continues to take) so many from my own generation. They helped me escape my fifty-year ‘kingdom of the night’ in about twenty minutes.“No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of the night." ~ Elie WieselNow come the children of Parkland, Florida who are emerging from their own kingdom of the night. Rather than living in resentment while tending their wounds, these young people have raised their voices in protest. They will not tolerate any more cruelty and violence. They are taking action and challenging the adults who make rules and laws. They have an incredible amount of hope and faith. They seem to fully comprehend that becoming instruments of peace can change everything.What does it mean to be an instrument of peace? The challenge and petition of St. Francis is compelling. It is not a sweet sentiment but rather a course setting directive. It is action oriented. If I am to become an instrument of peace, I must be willing to set aside prejudice, judgment, misgivings and long-held beliefs that my way is the right way. I have to become open to conversation and dialogue in uncomfortable situations. I offer myself as a listener and a co-operator. I will refuse to compromise what is right, good and just for what is popular, accepted or convenient. I will stand my ground with compassionate caring rather than with aggressive threats.Today, like these young people, I will have the courage be a peacemaker.Note: Ron’s name appears near the top of the picture in this post. He is buried at Spring Hill Cemetery in Danville.
Hard Times
Broken relationships, active hostility in families, among former friends and associates, open wounds from mistreatment, and plain old misunderstandings leave a heavy burden for our hearts to carry.
by Robert Kenneth Jones
Broken relationships, active hostility in families, among former friends and associates, open wounds from mistreatment, and plain old misunderstandings leave a heavy burden for our hearts to carry.
They crush our spirits.
The tendency to hold on to resentments, plan revenge and lash out aggressively seem to be our human default mode. We cry out; ‘I’ll get them back some day…I’ll show them.’ The trouble is that this eye-for-an-eye way of reacting can only result in more trouble, more viciousness, more wounds and more anguish.
An entire lifetime can be controlled by a single incident which sets up the dominoes of recurrent violence. The weight of it is too much to bear and is an unnecessary encumbrance.
The way to a good relationship with God, self and others is to actively engage in healing and redemptive actions which offer reconciliation and forgiveness.
God wants a humanity that is characterized by fearless love. This Love neutralizes the power of evil and transforms it to good. It calls us to change the way we treat each other for the sake of God and community. It calls us to dedicate ourselves to each other.
Let’s take up that standard of inspiring children by teaching and modeling a non-violent, loving alternative.
Jesus teaches us to offer good for bad. He asks for us to pray for those who persecute us. He directs us to walk the extra mile, turn the other cheek and to love our enemy.
Kindness, mercy and compassion are the tools of recovery from woundedness.
When practiced and used with good intentions, they create restoration of a happy heart, healing of a crushed spirit and harmony in all of our relationships. Something new will spring out of what seemed to be spoiled or ruined situations.
Something new will be kindled in our souls. It all starts with simple action…with a kind heart, a touch, a smile, understanding eye contact or even a good joke. The crosses we carry will then become light.
________________________________
About the Author
In a career spanning over four decades, Robert Kenneth Jones has been an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse. His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.
Links
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast
Violence and Restoration
by Robert Kenneth Jones
Broken relationships, active hostility in families, among former friends and associates, open wounds from mistreatment, and plain old misunderstandings leave a heavy burden for our hearts to carry.
They crush our spirits.
The tendency to hold on to resentments, plan revenge and lash out aggressively seem to be our human default mode. We cry out; ‘I’ll get them back some day…I’ll show them.’ The trouble is that this eye-for-an-eye way of reacting can only result in more trouble, more viciousness, more wounds and more anguish.
An entire lifetime can be controlled by a single incident which sets up the dominoes of recurrent violence. The weight of it is too much to bear and is an unnecessary encumbrance.
The way to a good relationship with God, self and others is to actively engage in healing and redemptive actions which offer reconciliation and forgiveness.
God wants a humanity that is characterized by fearless love. This Love neutralizes the power of evil and transforms it to good. It calls us to change the way we treat each other for the sake of God and community. It calls us to dedicate ourselves to each other.
Let’s take up that standard of inspiring children by teaching and modeling a non-violent, loving alternative.
Jesus teaches us to offer good for bad. He asks for us to pray for those who persecute us. He directs us to walk the extra mile, turn the other cheek and to love our enemy.
Kindness, mercy and compassion are the tools of recovery from woundedness.
When practiced and used with good intentions, they create restoration of a happy heart, healing of a crushed spirit and harmony in all of our relationships. Something new will spring out of what seemed to be spoiled or ruined situations.
Something new will be kindled in our souls. It all starts with simple action…with a kind heart, a touch, a smile, understanding eye contact or even a good joke. The crosses we carry will then become light.
________________________________
About the Author
In a career spanning over four decades, Robert Kenneth Jones has been an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse. His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.
Links
Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin
Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast
Kids for Sale
They were runaways from across the country that fled abusive homes to arrive at even meaner streets. Many of them had been kicked out of home by their parents for a variety of reasons.
by Robert Kenneth Jones
I made the most startling discovery about the world around me when I was 20 years old. My college career took a turn to the left back in 1970. The turbulent times of my generation were in full swing. After the Kent State Shootings on May 4th many college campuses, including mine at Florida Southern, closed to prevent further violence. I went home to Illinois. It was there that I decided to take some time away from my studies in psychology and work with children in trouble.
My mission was to ‘change the world’. Mom cheerfully called me the family do-gooder. The Executive Director at Vermilion County Children’s Home in Danville offered me a job as a residential child care worker. I readily accepted and began to learn far more than any formal education could ever teach. The startling discovery I mentioned occurred one day when two boys, aged 6 and 12 were admitted to the dormitory of which I was in charge. It was revealed to me during intake that the boys were found to be abused by their mother who sold them to men on a regular basis to do with as they may.
How could this be? Who could do such a thing to innocent kids? Nothing in my upbringing or education prepared me to deal with the life that these boys endured. I vowed to myself that I would do something, somehow to help children like them.
Several years later, I found myself in Fort Lauderdale volunteering at Covenant House. The work they were doing to rescue boys in Times Square had spread to other cities. Children (mostly boys who referred to themselves as hustlers or chickens) were being bought and sold for sex by wealthy men called chicken hawks. I spent many hours talking to boys who lived at the Florida center. They sought safe shelter and counseling while continuing to hustle.
They were runaways from across the country that fled abusive homes to arrive at even meaner streets. Many of them had been kicked out of home by their parents for a variety of reasons. The stories they told me were dreadful. The discovery in Danville that awakened me to this tragic situation was becoming a silent nationwide crisis.
One of the kids I got to know was fourteen year old Tony (not his real name of course). He was a charming, handsome, manipulative boy who was the ring leader of the dozen or so others who were being trafficked by the trick or by the hour. He was from Ohio and had been raped by a step-father from the age of nine.
He ran away to warm weather on a bus bound for Fort Lauderdale. It was only a matter of minutes before he was recognized as a viable product by a man who sold boys and girls to tourists. Ultimately, he escaped to Covenant House. Tony told me that over 100 men had abused him in only a few weeks. He had become addicted to cocaine, alcohol and heroin. He believed that he would survive longer ‘running his own show’ earning $40 - $60 a trick making $200 or more a night. He fully understood that the average street kid survived for less than two years succumbing to addiction, STD’s or suicide. When I left Fort Lauderdale there was no doubt in my mind that he would not live long.
I was the director of a Medication Assisted Outpatient Treatment Facility in Anderson, South Carolina back in 2002. My office was just insider the front door and each patient who came to us for help could easily see me and was welcome to stop in. One day, a young man who had just enrolled in the program walked by on his way out, did a double-take, and stuck his head in my door. “Don’t I know you?” He asked. We chatted for a minute trying to figure out the connection when he asked me if I had ever been to Covenant House in Fort Lauderdale. I replied that I had.
He looked at me hard and said, “You are Father Bob!” That was the name the kids had given me so many years before. He cried; “It’s me. Tony.” He had lived and somehow transcended the streets. Tony went on to tell his story of heading back to Ohio, confronting his demons, seeking methadone treatment, and moving on. He had a wife, two children and a thriving EBAY resale business of baseball cards, memorabilia, furniture…anything but himself. What a miracle! We spent quite a bit of time together during his outpatient stay at our center. Then, one day, he moved on to another town. His triumph continues to give me hope even in this new age of increased horrific child and adult human trafficking.
Trafficking is a word that seems sanitized to me. It signifies that those who suffer are ‘the other’…that they are statistics and numbers which happen somewhere else to someone else. But that is a grotesque form of denial. These trafficked young people are OUR children. They are marketed in the worst ways by vile people. We are averting our eyes to the fact that these are kids for SALE. Covenant House, Loyola University New Orleans and The University of Pennsylvania conducted an exhaustive study of the merchandizing of homeless children. If their findings don’t make it real and don’t break your heart there is something terribly wrong.
Things have changed in an insidious way in the 21st Century. Don’t get me wrong. Kids still gather on the streets as a product to be purchased. There are still pimps who organize their activities. But the change comes in cyber world. Online dating sites have advertisements with code words that lure young people and match them with predators according to Tom Manning who I was privileged to interview at Covenant House International. There is a link to about every town in America on these pages.
One infamous site (I will not provide links) has a disclaimer stating “It is to be accessed only by persons who are 18 years of age or older (and is not considered to be a minor in his/her state of residence) and who live in a community or local jurisdiction where nude pictures and explicit adult materials are not prohibited by law. By accessing this website, you are representing to us that you meet the above qualifications. A false representation may be a criminal offense.” I bet that stops people from participating! More and more kids are going to the dark streets of the world wide web than hotel bars, bus stops and other noticeable places.
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reports that they responded to 10,093 cases of possible child sex trafficking in 2017. Can you believe that? 10,093 children! The NCMEC provides hope and help for children, families and human service providers. We, as Chaplains, police officers and human service providers are in a unique position to do something to stop the madness. We chance upon and encounter trafficking frequently. First, we must be informed.
This journal offers hyperlinks to the best data out there. Second, we are called to serve our children by listening and being present without judgement while connecting them to services and phone numbers like Covenant House nines (800-999-9999) Third, we should include them in personal and community prayers.
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About the Author In a career spanning over four decades, Robert Kenneth Jones has been an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse. His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation. Links Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast