It is more than tempting to give in or give up. There is an alluring quality to quitting the struggle. When all of the headlines point to disaster, chaos, hatred, and division, keeping one’s head in the game and participating actively is hard. Another school shooting. Another political mess. Another war. We become overwhelmed with sadness, strife, and futility. An almost soothing refrain of 'Stop the world, I want to get off' seems to offer relief from all the pain and suffering.
“You don’t give in or give up because your determination may be all that is needed to change the world.”
The dramatic rise of suicide in young people (the number two cause of death in people between the ages of 10-24) or among police officers and firefighters (who are more likely to die at their own hands than in the line of duty) tells this awful tale of despair. To think that so many of our children and our public servant heroes are at the end of their ropes is heartbreaking. So why not just quit? The answer is as old as humankind. You don't give in or give up because your determination may be all that is needed to change the world. Your contribution and your love is the key to our future. Believe it or not.
The stories told in sacred texts by all religions and those of ancient mythology have endured forever because they tell us how to live. Their metaphors help us find our way. One that is a touchstone for me is contained in Homer's Odyssey. When it comes to resisting the urge to give in or give up, his tale of Odysseus and the Sirens is one of the best. It is told that Odysseus makes the tough decision to take a long and dangerous journey across the ocean for home.
Sirens Song from Odysseus
His lover, Circe, tells him of the encounter he must have with three beautiful creatures known as Sirens who lure all ships onto nearby rocks with their totally irresistible and seductive songs. No sailor survives them "for they sit in a green field and warble him to death with the sweetness of their song.” Odysseus heeds the warning and orders his men to put beeswax in their ears so they won't be killed by the treachery. But he chooses to have himself strapped to the mast of the ship so that he can hear the songs while not being drawn to certain death. He does so and is unharmed. But the most compelling part is that unknown to Odysseus, the Sirens were destined to die if anyone would hear them and live to tell about it. When Odysseus survived they hurled themselves into the sea and never tempted or devastated human beings again.
I've been fortunate to see this story play out in real life dozens of times. A couple of years ago I wrote about a boy who was an Odysseus himself in my column for ChaplainUSA.org entitled 'Kids For Sale'. One of the boys I counseled was fourteen-year-old Tony (not his real name of course). He was a charming, handsome, manipulative youngster who was the ringleader of the dozen or so others who were being trafficked by the trick or by the hour. He was from Ohio and had been molested by a step-father. He ran away to warm weather on a bus bound for Fort Lauderdale and it was only a matter of minutes before he was recognized as a viable product by a man who sold boys and girls to tourists.
Ultimately, he escaped to Covenant House. Tony told me that over 100 men had abused him in only a few weeks. He had become addicted to cocaine, alcohol, and heroin and soon realized that he would survive longer ‘running his own show’ earning $40 - $60 a trick making $200 or more a night. He fully understood that the average street kid survived for less than two years succumbing to addiction, STD’s or suicide.
When I left Fort Lauderdale there was no doubt in my mind that Tony would not live long. Years later, as director of a treatment facility, a new patient saw me, did a double-take, and stuck his head in my door. “Don’t I know you?” He asked. We chatted for a minute trying to figure out the connection when he asked me if I had ever been to Covenant House in Fort Lauderdale. I replied that I had. He looked at me hard and said, “You are Father Bob!”
That was the name the kids had given me so many years before. He cried; “It’s me. Tony.” He had lived and somehow transcended the streets. Tony went on to tell his story of heading back to Ohio, confronting his demons, seeking methadone treatment, and moving on. He had a wife, two children and a thriving EBAY resale business of baseball cards, memorabilia, furniture…anything but himself. His triumph over the Sirens of giving in and giving up continues to give me hope.
The message of Odysseus is clear. So is Tony's. Job in the Old Testament gives it a good spin as well. And the modern-day storyteller/musician, Tom Petty doesn't mince words with us in his tune I Won’t Back Down when he says 'there ain't no easy way out, so I'll stand my ground and I won't back down'.
When we resist the Sirens who try compelling us to give in and give up by participating despite their promises of relief something remarkable happens. Our decision to carry on, to exist, persist, endure and overcome will defeat them every time. Then nothing, absolutely nothing, will be able to drag us down.