More on Judging and Being Judged

"Christian, Jew, Muslim, shaman, Zoroastrian, stone, ground, mountain, river, each has a secret way of being with the mystery, unique and not to be judged." ~ Rumi

I often write about judging.  But right now it seems so important. The finger of judgment points in every direction nowadays. With it comes feelings of superiority and inferiority.  Neither is good.  So I try to revisit the subject in my prayers and mindfulness meditation daily in hopes of being spared the burden of judging.You know how terrible it feels to be judged.  I think we all have felt the sting of judgment at one time or another.  Many of us are all too familiar.  A description of how it feels to be judged was shared with me during a counseling session.  This wounded young fellow told me; “It feels like I am being awakened in the middle of the night and dragged naked in front of everyone to be teased and ridiculed.”

Perhaps the saddest part of his story is that he had been living in a therapeutic community in which he should have been receiving compassion and encouragement.  Instead, he felt rejection, pain, and malice. As our time together that day progressed, he began to launch into a rant which described the failings of the people in the group that was wounding him.  He labored with character assassinations and perceived shortcomings as he verbally railed against one and all.  When he was finished he started to sob.  I told him that he was loved and not to put so much stock in what others thought of him or about their feedback.  He replied; “I know you’re right.  I’m crying because I just did to them what they have been doing to me.”

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean.” ~ Jimi Hendrix

Can you imagine what it might be like to stop judging?  Can you imagine what it might be like to not be judged?  How wonderful it would be to believe that we were not under scrutiny and that nobody was looking down on us.  Think how great it would feel to accept those who are not behaving as we might want them to with understanding and patience.  There is much harm done when we have been judged.  And there is no good that can come from our judgment of others.

Today I will live without judgment.  I will not accept it nor will I indulge in it.

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast

Justice, Mercy and Compassion

by Robert Kenneth Jones

“Fill the seats of justice

With good men, not so absolute in goodness

As to forget what human frailty is. ~ Thomas Noon Talfourd

How easy it is to judge those who annoy us and those who break the rules!  Of course, this is not some new phenomenon.  Human beings have been doing it since the beginning of time.  But today, we have made the judgment game a sensational and salacious sport.

The 24-hour cable ‘news’ programs are engaged in continual finger pointing and disdain of opposing points of view. They practically seduce us into paying attention and implore us to take sides.  We soon identify ourselves as virtuous and the other as unethical or evil.  We become engrossed when the powerful are mired in scandal and revile the outcast or marginalized who continue to cause trouble.  We become self-appointed judges, juries and executioners. 

“Pray that we might allow God to show us that compassion, mercy and forgiveness are far better than judgment.” ~ Drew Filkins

The people who are suffering and need our compassion and mercy the most too often receive our biased judgment. But who am I, and who are we, to judge? Consider the plight of our own personal brokenness.  

Each of us has made plenty of mistakes.  None of us will escape destructive patterns of behavior which, if scrutinized, could cause us to be condemned in one way or another. If we scorn those who suffer from addiction, ridicule those who have fallen into low places, criticize the homeless, blame the victims, or cast out the mentally ill, what are we doing but selfishly indulging misguided righteousness?Rather than offering mercy and compassion, we strike a blow of intolerance.  Perhaps it is really the scorned, broken and wounded spirits within us which are crying out for forgiveness.

Banner photo by Phillip LeConte

Robert Kenneth Jones is an innovator in the treatment of addiction and childhood abuse.

In a career spanning over four decades, his work helping people recover from childhood abuse and addiction has earned him the respect of his peers.

His blog, An Elephant for Breakfast, testifies to the power of the human spirit to overcome the worst of life’s difficulties. We encourage you to visit and share this rich source of healing, inspiration and meditation.

Contact Bob Jones on Linkedin

Bob Jones’ blog An Elephant for Breakfast