I am going to write about Thanksgiving gratitude and nostalgia in the coming days. Before that though, I feel the need to say in advance something that might help make this holiday a little more palatable.

The frost is on the pumpkins and the geese are getting fat.

These words combine an old English song and the poetry of James Whitcomb Riley. We were thinking about the coming Thanksgiving feast and anticipating Christmas when saying those words in mid-November back in my childhood. It seemed like everyone was going somewhere to gather with family, 'over the river and through the woods'. That hasn't changed so much except the trip to Grandma's is more likely braved on interstates and in airplanes than rural country road adventures. AAA (which we used to call Chicago Motor Club) says that "More than 55 million travelers are making plans to kick off the holiday season with a trip of 50 miles or more away from home this Thanksgiving." That’’s a bunch of turkeys in dire jeopardy

Our departures to family and friends must have a lot more to do with love than with cranberries, and pumpkin (or punkin) pie. So with all of this in mind, it is somewhat perplexing that Thanksgiving is noted as the most stressful holiday of them all.

I learned early on as a young social worker that our jobs would be most difficult around Thanksgiving. Domestic abuse of all kinds skyrocket. Drug and alcohol abuse increase as much as 33 percent. Accidents and coronary events spike. Interestingly, however, suicide rates actually fall at this time of the year. Either we are taking our frustrations out on everyone else while drinking ourselves numb, or family support gives us a sense of belonging and accountability.

I think all of these things combine to make treatment centers the busiest with new admissions after what is called our happiest holiday. Though it might seem rather sad, what a great outcome of Thanksgiving that people are confronted with their suffering and find a way to real, life sustaining and enriching help.

For the bulk of us, however, Thanksgiving joys bring with them less dramatic stressors. Getting the food prepared, tasty, and served hot is challenging enough. But this season, I have heard so many people near and dear, as well as spiritual advisors and other columnists worrying and warning about our family gatherings.

The political and religious polarization we are experiencing threatens to drive wedges and hurt feelings around dinner tables more than ever this year. Republicans and Democrats, Evangelicals and Spiritual Progressives, Pro-Trumpers and Never-Trumpers, Environmentalists and Skeptics, bring a defensive posture sometimes armed with arguments ready to explode over the green bean casserole.

I even found myself preparing a little dig for someone of an opposing belief system to mine. Finding a veiled innocent comment designed to agitate this rather aggressive person was tickling my fancy. But further reflection changed my mind. There is nothing to be gained and everything to be lost by setting the stage for a scene that would follow. Nobody would be changed. No heart would find its way to my side. And this brings me to the point of this writing about Thanksgiving Departures.

Back in those good ole days, fully recognizing that they weren't always as good as we remember, one phrase of sage wisdom about Thanksgiving and other family/friend get togethers could almost certainly get us through our gatherings this year and far into the future.

Here it is. Don't discuss politics or religion. Period. Exclamation point.

Leave them alone. I'm not saying to abandon passionate points of view and cherished belief systems at all. On the contrary, go deep, express yourself while listening carefully to the opinions of others. It is your civic responsibility. There is a time and a place for civil discourse, but not at our uniquely American annual day of gratitude. It might have been easier for The Greatest Generation to live out their cautionary message.

As Tom Brokaw has told us, they came home from war and didn't talk about their awful experiences. That probably made limited controversy around mashed potatoes a breeze in late November. So, enjoy the food. Embrace loved ones. Accept and honor differences. Have some fun telling stories of traditions, people and memories of years gone by. Then this Thanksgiving Departure free from rancor and divisiveness will long be remembered and treasured. They might even be cherished somewhere…around another table…as one of those wonderful “good ole days".